Afgans “avenge” Quran Burning by killing 12 people?
Posted by UFreak in 
That’s a fair exchange?…Where’s the outrage from the within?
Let’s review this story…Some Priest in Florida burns a Quran, and in Afghanistan they respond by killing 12 people? Where in the HELL do these people come from? When do these special “Ed” retards of the religious World finally get their due?
Really, this religion is for those a little slow on the uptake! As if the promise of 72 virgins in Heaven) wasn’t proof enough! Well, not only the promise, but the BELIEF in that promise!…AND, to a bit, the WANTING of that promise! Imagine you’ve never had sex before, but if you blow yourself up for some Whacko leader, you’re going to get a room full of inexperienced virgin trim? Who’d want that? You don’t even get ONE Pro who knows what the hell she’s doing? You wait your whole life, then martyr yourself, for rookies? -WTF?
Like every other American, I have done a fair amount of thinking over the past few years about the global Muslim community. I mean, how could I not? Every time I turn on the television, pick up a paper or open a web browser window, some wild-eyed Muslim group is pissed off about SOMETHING! Their inbred visage is usually some caption about how they just tried to kill a bunch of women and children or some other equally courageous act. Take that Muhammad cartoon silliness back in ’05. For those of you that might have forgotten; a Danish newspaper published some caricaturesof Muhammad (Allah’s prophet) that poked fun at militant Muslims. What happened? Muslims all across the world flip their shit. Muslims in France, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Malaysia…all freak out! They used their right to freedom of assembly and speech to demand that citizens of other countries (namely Danish newspaper editors) are denied their rights of freedom of speech and press (kind of hypocritical, huh?-Them using a right to depose another given “right”). To drive the point home that they are NOT irrational, violent and psychopathic, these savvy Muslims throw around some Molotov cocktails, send death threats, attack some police and trample to death some of their own in their beef’n”frenzy”.
For years now, I have been unable to silence the repeating series of questions that constantly run though my mind. “How could a group of people be so mislead?” “What went wrong with the Islamic faith and when did it go wrong? Basically, “What the f*ck is wrong with these people? Why does Islam have so many assholes in its ranks?”
What is it?…..Islam is a religion designed for stupid people! Hold on, hold on… Hear me out on this. In order to be a “good Muslim” you only have to follow five rules or “Pillars” as they are called;
1) You must declare your faith. You do this by accepting that “there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.”
2) You must pray to Allah.
3) You have to pay a tax—assuming you have in your possession, for one whole year, gold of the minimum weight of seven-and-a-half “tolas” (whatever the f*ck that is).
4) You must fast in the month of Ramadan.
5) And finally, you must visit Mecca. Boom! That’s it. You declare your faith, pray, pay taxes, fast and check out Mecca at some point in your life.
–It’s that simple?
Is it just me or does this religion seem like it is tailored to lobotomy patients with ADD? I got so excited by my revelation that Islam is designed for the Special Ed. cross section of society that I came up with the opening bit for a late night infomercial trying to sell people on the Islamic faith. It would open up with a close-up of some guy who looked like a Middle Eastern Elvis who would immediately point at the camera and yell in heavily accented English, “Too stupid for Christianity? Can’t remember all of the Ten Commandments? Try Islam! There is only half as much shit to remember!” I can’t recall exactly what I wanted to happen after that, but I think at some point in the infomercial there would be some Middle Eastern broads wearing only veils and bikinis – hoola-hooping. And, then the Middle Eastern Elvis would behead them for being “unclean”.
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Then I get distracted because my dog comes in the room and started licking his balls. It was then where I realized that even my dog was intelligent enough to follow the five pillars of Islamic faith. He had declared his faith in me and no other. He prays to me every time I am eating (some might call it begging, but then again is there really any difference?). I figure he is exempt from the third Pillar as he has never had in his possession seven-and-a-half tolas of gold. He fasts during Ramadan (from when I feed him before work until I come home at night and feed him again). He has never been to Mecca, but I guess that means he is only one plane ticket away from being a role model Muslim.Am I really equating the Muslim community’s intelligence and free-thinking ability to that of a dog’s?!?” Yes, I am. “But that is RAAACIST!! Wahhh!” Oh for the love of sweet ass-slapping Allah, shut the f*ck up! Bagging on a religion isn’t racist, you twit. It is “religionist”… or, something. If you want to accuse me of being a meanie towards a certain religion, go right ahead. But take your racist accusations, dip them in glue, roll them in rock salt and then jam them up your urethra. |
Over a quarter of the population on the continent of Asia is Muslim (which includes a lot of non-Middle-Easterners). Over half of Africa is Muslim which means a lot of Blacks subscribe to the faith. Almost ten percent of Europe is Muslim which means there are some lily-white Muslims with bad teeth and body odor–if they are French. And there is a decent handful in the Americas as well. Muslims come in every color, shape and size.
| Back to point; Islam caters to idiots—people who have 2-pound sacks of waterlogged cat ass where their brains should be. So what is the conclusion? Well, I am offering it as a partial explanation for why these fruit-loops keep popping up on our living room TV’s, interrupting our Van Dekamp’s Fish stick Extravaganza micro waved dinners with live reports on their idiotic actions. I am not, however, saying that all Muslims are stupid. I am not saying that most Muslims are stupid. But what I am saying is that if a stupid person is going to choose a religion, he/she is much more likely to pick Islam than any other because Islam is the community college of religions. When millions of stupid people unite under the same religious banner, bad things are going to happen! So when you turn on the news, click up on cnn.com, or when you strike up a casual conversation with some pin-head asshole at Starbucks and the topic of Muslim Aggression comes up, don’t get frustrated. Don’t get confused! Just remember that these people don’t know any better. They just need their noses rubbed in their own shit and piss to learn. |
…”if a believer demands that I, as a nonbeliever, observe his taboos in the public domain, he is not asking for my respect, but for my submission”…
Really, how hard is it to use your damn Turn-signal anway?
42 percent said they don’t have time.
23 percent said they are too lazy.
17 percent said they don’t because they forget to turn it off after.
12 percent said they change lanes too frequently to bother.
11 percent said it’s not important.
8 percent said they don’t because others don’t.
7 percent said not doing it adds to excitement.
Telling it like it is!
From: Tommy Combs
To: Brian Hodge
Sent: Thu, June 24, 2010 1:34:23 PM
Subject: Keep the money!Dear Loser,I’m e-mailing you since you refuse to respond to a text message or answer your phone!I’m writing to you to let you know to keep the fucking money!I knew that getting involved with you from Day 1 was a mistake. But you talked a big game and after the way you were parading your customized company truck around (that you paid for out of pocket, and no longer work for now), I didn’t think there was anyway things would turn out like they did.Afterall, all you were doing was sponsoring a baseball team. I didn’t realize that meant you said you would pay the money to do so, then not pay. But now I know. Thanks!I’m tired of all of your lies and your bullshit excuses!It all started the day I told you to go to Dicks to pick up the bats that were on hold. You said “They Sold” them, so I called and the guy said, “nope, I’m holding them in my hand right now waiting for your guy to get here”. Then you went up the next day and picked them up.“I’ll have your money tomorrow, I’ll have it tomorrow, I’ll have it friday, I’ll have it one day this week, I just need two months for this check to clear my account”. What the fuck ever! All of it was BULLSHIT LIES! I should’ve called you out on all this shit a long time ago, so it’s my fault for playing your game! After you called me with your sob story, I actually felt bad for you, gave you the benefit of the doubt.It was everything I had not to drive to your house the day that you told me you were pouring asphalt in a 6hr torrential downpour, just to call you out on your lie.I played your stupid fucking game for the last 2 months, hoping I would get the rest of the money and then I wouldn’t have to deal with your sorry ass anymore. Because I knew you wouldn’t show up to the baseball games and practices anymore, especially since you quit coming after you owed money. I even told you…”DON”T stop coming! your son wants you there and needs your support”. I told you nobody else, even the coaches knew what was going on. That you and I would handle this outside of baseball. But you refused to come anyway. Instead, you tried to talk him out of playing baseball, so that you didn’t have to feel guilty for not coming! Well i’ve got news for you, he WANTS to play and he’s a damn good player! He just doesn’t want to upset you!Thanks by the way, I got your message that you were too much of a coward to call and tell me yourself, you had to have your ex long time girlfriend (who also happens to be the Team Mom) call and tell me. I think it went something like, “Tell that Mother Fucker he’ll get his god damn money whenever the fuck I feel like it”. Yeah, I got that message. The only reason I didn’t call you and cuss you out that day, was because she begged me not to. Because she said you would just take your anger out on her. Well I’ve got more news for you, Leave her the fuck out of it! Stand up and be a MAN. Handle your responsibilities and stop blaming everyone else! And if I even get the feeling that you said one word to her about this e-mail, I’ll expose you for the complete and utter fraud that you are!Stay the fuck away from Me, My baseball Field, and my Team.Fuck off!Sincerely,TC
Mo Egger at Kolping?
Is that what it felt like? Like you just got ran over by Ricky Williams? Mo admits his team sucks, that they’re horrible, and they’re there just to drink and have fun. If that’s the case, then why all the crying? And yes, it’s crying. You can paint a horse many colors, but it’s still a horse. Playing E League softball is like getting a blowjob from a fat chick, it’s fun to do every once in awhile, but you don’t want your friends to know about it.
This all stems from Mo Egger of Homer247.com blogging (crying) about a Team they played at Kolping in an “E” league game. Apparently the “E” league team they played takes it a little more seriously than Mo’s team. You can read his blog, but take tissues with you. Then someone decided to copy and paste his “Terms of Endearment” moment in the Mecca of softball forums, also known as CINCYSOFTBALL.com….all praise be to Allah Larks.
Look, I like Mo’s sports show and I like how he tells it like it is sometimes. But sometimes I’m just waiting for him to cue the New Orleans Funural jazz music and start singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”. Dude, it’s not even softball. “E” League softball is for guys with too much pride to play Co-ed and not enough skills to play “D” League (which is the true Drinking league). Just grab your glove, your bat, and STFU. You already know when you go out there that you’re probably going to get run-ruled. So what does it matter if the other team had uniforms and a manager? I don’t know who the other team was, so I’m not defending them. I’m just saying, take the ass whoopin like a man. Would it matter if they grabbed 3 guys from the stands wearing wife beaters, dirty jeans and work boots? So what if they said, “Take of the firstbasemans head”….did they do it? Didn’t your firstbaseman have a glove? Hell, in “E” ball, you have to have your best guy at firstbase. That way when one of the convicts playing shorstop actually makes a play, there is someone that can catch it.
And just to keep it real, who really gives a fuck about any of this anyway?!?!?! It’s “E” ball. And this shit has sent the Cincysoftball.com forums into a frenzy. Not really sure why! Most of you guys have played for years, some are lifetime “E” players, so you know how this works. It’s like crying because you got beat up by a girl that’s bigger than you. If a girl whooped your ass, would you tell anyone???? So why is anyone crying about getting beat in “E” League softball? When I used to play ball all the time, I knew some guys that played in the “E”. Every now and then they needed someone to fill in, so I would go help out. But I was so ashamed that I would tell my “Head” nurse at the time that I was going to the driving range, then stop at Speedway and run in the bathroom and change into something nobody would recognize me in, like a Superman phone booth.
So, in short…Quit crying, drink your beer, and try not to get your head taken off.
We should put together a “Mo’s Schmoes” vs. “Doc’s Bunnies” game. Because I’m sure I can find 9 or 10 female players that could whoop his “E” team, just to prove it doesn’t matter what the other team is wearing.
Caption……
(sniffle sniffle) I ju ju just wa wa wanted to puh puh play su su sum softball, huwahhhhhhh.
I need my binkie.
PS – Still love the show Mo!
Let me know if you’re interested in that softball game 
Reader E-mail
Envy – It wears a coat and hangs out in Hallways
Dear ‘Doc’ aka ‘Dick’,
As a recently divorced woman who feels she can ‘hang’ with the fella’s. I thought your website would be a fun way to meet some guys who knew how to party, yet also know how to treat a lady. What I found was that you, especially are a disgusting vile human being, who probably sits in your basement spanking it to your trashy videos and pictures of ‘babes kissing’. A person who gets no ass in real life has no other choice but to develop a website, convince young girls to send in pictures of themselves looking like whores, probably promising to make them a ‘star’ someday just so he can add to his library of jack material.
You’re not fooling anyone ‘Doc’. I’m sure deep down inside you are just a sensitive little nerd who feels the need to beat his chest, degrade women, because unfortunately, you were probably born with a small dick, and big hands, throwing all of those theories we hear about out of the window. It’s guys like you that turn girls like me into angry lesbians. My next email will include an attached photo of me kissing another chick. Spank it to that, sucker.
Sincerely,
Kelly
Dear Kelly aka “Bitter Fat Lonely Chick”,
I”m sorry to hear about your divorce. I’m sure over the years you’ve let yourself go and now you’ll never find a man. Best advice I can give to you is to find a treadmill and put down the twinkies. I’m sure you can hang with the fella’s, because the fella’s know that fat chicks give the best BJ’s. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to promising hot young chicks the world. By the way – No spandex for you this summer, nobody likes to see an ass that looks like 2 bags of wet laundry walking around
PS – No need for a photo. I only have dual 22″ widescreen monitors hooked up, I doubt your aerial pic will fit on my screen.
Sincerely, with butter, whip creme, grease, & peanut butter on top,
Doc
Is this chick rude or what? Peeping in my basement windows, watching me hard at work. The nerve of some people! Honestly, I’m shocked that she pushed herself away from the buffet long enough to type this e-mail to me. And for the life of me, after reading her e-mail, I can’t figure out why any man would trade her in for a younger hotter model. I just hope this chick finds a dude drunk enough to “Hook her up” this weekend. I’ve got a feeling if she don’t get laid soon that she might show up at FGS Headquarters demanding a bucket of chicken or something.
And just to prove to everyone in the Locker Room that I’m a good guy……I’m giving a Free Fatguysports.com shirt to anyone that sends me a picture from the party tonight at Scoreboard that resembles the one below!
One for the ages
A little “sniff sniff”, then just throw that bitch down and take what’s yours. No time for courtship, a bunch of wasted small talk, $200 on dinner/comedy club/ and drinks…..see what you want and take it! That’s just the way we get down in the Locker Room. “Instant Classic”, “Here comes the Pain”, “BAM…BAM…BAM”. Sounds like a night at Casa De La Doc’s! Don’t sit there and act like you’re shocked and appalled ladies. You know you love it when your man gets all primitive on your ass and just takes that shit. Sure you want romance, sweet talk, blah blah blah…but you know you love it when your man walks in with that “So easy a Caveman can do it” look in his eyes. And fellas, if you’re sitting there saying that your woman doesn’t like that, then you’re not doing it properly! Trust me, your chick is a freak. But if you walk in there with a sensitive and timid attitude she’ll shut your little punk ass down. And instead of being a Locker Room hero, you’ll be unloading the dishwasher & earning your keep. Just remember, all women love that shit. So if you’re not the one giving it to her, someone else is. Think about it! 
Top Ten movies for early March 2010
….THE LIST
I got to tell ya, I’m not a movie person too much. Particularly when it comes to GOING to a Movie Gooleplex!..Of the top ten movies listed there, there’s 3-4 there I ain’t even heard of!….and, only two movies I’d go see even if it were free and they threw in a free limo ride to and from!. Even then, I probably wouldn’t go to both!. Going to the movies was always something you did with your girlfriend to kill time “before”, back in the day. I really don’t see the advantage in going to a movie theatre anymore. When they had those “Cinema-n-brews”, or “Pitcher-n-Pitchers’” places, where you ate and drank like you we’re humans….– at REAL tables, it was a different story. You didn’t have that crap ass row seating which, unbelievable as it may seem, SUCKS for watching a movie! How it is NO one has improved on that arrangement is amazing, but then again; many of you are still flocking there, so..???
If you just stop going to movies, then start seeing them later after they are on Cable, its kinda the like the same viewing effect -NEW!! Of course, you can’t go to work the next day and bore the HAIL out of everyone by talking about it right away, so there is a down side!….BUT, you don’t have to sit in a theatre seat that’s had its share of “abuse” spunked all over it 30 or 40 thousand times, buy .30 (cents) worth of soda for 3000 times its value, and sit in a darkened room with teenagers looking for love, or, that ever present jackass who’s already SEEN the release and feels compelled to yell out what’s coming next like he’s Morgan Freeman narrating (yet another) the movie! As if it takes some special talent to ALREADY see a movie…???
None of this is shocking news, yet still, 720million $$ in 12 weeks for Avatar? (60 million a week??)…A movie about some fake ass Blue race of humanoid tree people?. Then, of course, they cleverly mix in that some overly aggressive “White guy” (or guys) want to “STEAL” your land, or tree or whatever it is?, and go about it all aggressive-y and forceful. Typical “white guy” bashing that is still, somehow, popular for some wildly odd reason; — the drones still eat it up like its “fresh” copy. STICK TO WHAT WORKS JIMMY!!!
OK, so I still dislike James Cameron because I FOOLISHLY and embarrassingly went TO the movie theatre and watched,…yes,….Titanic! GAWD do I hate admitting to that! It was the woman’s idea of course, but still, how awful was that flick?! Yeah, I know it won some awards or something like that, for mostly ALL the reasons I don’t go to see movies for, anymore. Still, I felt myself getting dumber as I sat there and boiled over the flUFf ass crap I was being fed. Thankfully it was only about 6 hours long, so eventually I got to leave. At home, and after I funneled paint thinner through my eyes, I told the woman never again will we go to another movie. –…and we haven’t. I’ve taken the kids to some, but even then, the memory of Titanic still haunts every theatre in the country. If they closed ‘em all down, I’d never know or care! Thanks Jimbo!
Of those top ten movies, Cop Out would be the only one I’d see, if I had to go to the movies. Shutter Island?…well, DiCap was the “featured” douche-bag in Titanic, and I have a hard time excusing him for that role, but he has done some movies since that kinda deflect a little. Plus ha was trawling that chick with the name Bar….and THAT’s pretty impressive, so….maybe I’ll see that one after its run the theatre circuit.
Those two “lovey-boy/girl” movies?…Call ‘em Chick-flicks or what have you, but those are pure evil there. Woman GO to these movies and think this is how real life should be…..well, most woman anyway. Then, because they can never FIND a guy THAT douchey in real life, they are reserved to settle for a dude more like Seth Rogan “acts”. Not that I’m championing this guy, just his abusive niche-type of care-free male model. Women think everyone is a douchey feelings-matter kind of guy, and the ones that “hit-their-spot” so well, generally, just aren’t! So, they want animals to make ’em scream, but douche-bags at the holidays!???? Its just not possible! Yet here we are, 80 years into movies, and woman still fall for the same sh!t.
The other movie I’ve heard of on that list is, Brooklyn’s Finest; REALLY!?!?. Surprise, surprise, another Good-Cop-bad-Cop movie with a Black-guy-drug-dealer/savior-to-the-under-class, guy in it!…I wonder if they’ll re-use “THE CARTER”??? This is, what, the 40-ith version now of this exact same message? Yeah, and I think 4 of the players IN this version, worked together at some point with each other on those earlier Hollywood RE-makes! OK I get the message, ALL “good” cops are the young Rookie types, and all the white vets are on the take! The Black actors are all into hip-hop and drug distribution, but they don’t want anyone in the real world to relate the two after they leave the movie; –yet we get re-make after re-make???. They glorify the life of extreme expenses and the excess lifestyles and drugs, but no one wants that to be their profile! THERE ARE FORCES, however, who do want you to believe that ALL Police are bad and corrupt, for some reason! Thankfully we have a lean ratio of 1 lawyer for every 60 NON-lawyer persons in this country!, yeah, they’ll help us sue anyone who has $$ and makes any kind of mistake at all! (oops, another tangent!)
In closing, don’t go see any of these movies!…that way they’ll release them from the theatres sooner! In the case of the “chick flick”s or “Brooklyn’s Finest”, just go (re)watch the 1000′s of previously produced films out there! It’ll help bridge the time it takes these “newer” versions to get on dvd!
I told you not to Fuck wit me!
Talk about a serious case of: “When keeping it REAL goes wrong”! This dude got his grill split open because he just had to prove what a badass he was. You know the old man is sitting at a table right now, sharing this story with his buddies while playing a game of Bridge and saying shit like..”Yo Homie, tell me how ass tastes!”
Not only did he get beat down by Hulk Hogans uncle, but his bitch is video taping the whole thing. At the end, she’s even lauging at his ass. She told him he “was leaking”! Ummm, Grandpa just busted his mouth and broke the whole damn sink, that’s why his ass is draining blood like a busted water line. The only thing that would’ve made this video better is if he would’ve walked back an pimp slapped his bitch for gettin’ all this shit started!
But by far, the best part is at the 2:16 minute mark…when the old man is walking away and the dude mumbles under his breath, “next time, I’m gonna fuck you up”…Whatever Bruce Leroy, you had your chance, you fucked with an old man that you thought you could take down and you got your ass handed to you, IN FRONT OF YOUR BITCH!…Suck it up and move on. And next time someone walks away, let him! Because now the whole world will know you as the punk bitch sitting at the back of the bus, talking bout…”I need a Bambalance”!
Tiger on the loose!
People keep asking me, “Doc, what do you think about the Tiger situation?” , “Doc, did you listen to the speech?” and I can say is this….
I don’t give a fuck about what he did! I don’t care about his speech! And I don’t care if his woman stays by his side or not! I don’t care how many chicks he was banging or in how many cities! All I care about is watching the man play golf!
Lets be real here! Most of the analysts, experts, people on the board at these marketing companies, any body and everybody that is giving there opinion has cheated or done something wrong in their life. I’m tired of listening to these hypocrites put the man down, over analyze his every word, and second guess if his model wife is gonna stick around.
I can’t condemn the man for pulling out the driver on every hole. It just proves he’s human. He’s one of the most recognizable people on the planet. I heard a comedian describe it best, “A man is only as faithful as his options. He can stop chasing the poo-nanny, but if the poo-nanny is chasing him —-He can’t run fast enough!”……..Is it funny, YES. Is it true, ABSOLUTELY!
Think about it fellas, if a chick walked up to your sorry ass right now and said, “Drop your pants, I’m dying to blow you”, you wouldn’t know how to act. The first thought in your head would be, “WTF, is this a game show?”. Second thing you would do is look around and see if anybody knows you. Third thing you would do…..you would say “Let the facial begin”!
In Closing…Don’t hate the man for being a man! And ladies, when you marry a high profile person such as this, you might as well accept that he’s going to cheat on you. Afterall, you only married him for the money anyway, so what do you care if he bangs a chick or 200 on the side?
Ancient Chinese Proverb says: “Man who live in glass house, should change clothes in basement”……..Think about it!
This has been another enlightening message from The Doc!
Peace!
I’m out Bitches!
You didn’t like the Tebow ad in the Super Bowl?
Well, they made another one, just for you!
Go figure, apparently SOME people are uptight!?!?.. People in this country can get freaked out about some one else’s opinion or views?..WOW! -Who’d have thunk it?
