Posted by UFreak in 
I now HATE freakin’ Tiger Woods!
Yeah, I could care less which of the (possibly) many holes he dips his balls in,…Sure, as a man I may be a little jealous that he’s more able then I, and, I’m a little past my ‘day” now, but..no,…its not that. Its just that now my wife wants a freakin contract full of $$ bonuses, to hang out with me! And I can’t even TELL you what I have to pay for boom-boom now!
Yeah, like if riding the fun-ship UFreak wasn’t enUFf, NOW after reading the new “deal” Elin is getting, MY wife wants a written “BANG-me-for-CASH” arrangement to stay with MY ass!….Yeah, as if the regular ash-plowings weren’t enUFf!, now she apparently wants some cash too!…YOU FREAKIN’ ASH HOLE TIGER! WTF!?!?!? OK, sure, I have a few dollars shy of a Billion, and we live in a cardboard cut-out by comparison,..still. I now have to pay??? U PRICK!!!
Elin gets 80 million to stay with the Worlds #1 sports celeb?, and (if reports are right) 55 million if she just stays 2 more years!?…F**K!. I’d live in Hitlers flooded basement as a whiny Jew, for 2 years for even a 100th of that!. Shit, Tiger, you F**KED the curve up but good, DUDE!…Even for us regular folk!.
My wife, and believe me she’s put up with some sh*t, would make Elin puke hard food, by comparison. Now she wants a money specific deal! Hell, its topical now!….Fox will have a “PAY FOR ASS” reality show in about 30 minutes, guys! Snatch is gonna be put on lay-away pretty soon! AND!…We can thank the biggest puzzy on the planet for this new World Order! Yeah, Tiger Woods, the geek who is paying his women up to 80 million (and 55 million guaranteed) to tolerate living in the lap of luxery, for TWO YEARS!!!!! She gets 55 million dollars, on top of any settlement money, (they have two kids and she’s been living pretty high on the “not-Tigers-HOG”, fellas!) to live with a guy she supposedly wanted to marry!!!!!…yeah, I KNOW! This is a ridiculous development, man!
What does a 27.5 million dollar a year “crank” do?…..I mean, I get good ass sex,….and I’ve had some pretty good “smooth down” in my days, but, I cannot imagine what 27.5 million a year crank does! This crotch must,…what,…sh.t guys, I can’t even imagine what a 27.5 million dollar a year b.tch could do for a dude…there cannot be true value, there. There just can’t be! Tiger’s life is hell, but he’s going to NOW!???..over-pay for “crank” he’s not even going to GET!?!?!? (at least you gotta think he wont be getting it MORE often, anyway!)…. Do you think she’s gonna be a BETTER piece in the rack or a worse piece, here forward?….Everytime he says “Babe, that was incredible”…She’s gonna say,..”Well, for what you’re paying, it sure SHOULD BE F*CKER!”…and he can forget about oral obligations all-together, dude, that’s another 40 mil!!
27.5 million a year, divided by 356 days, means that b.tch is getting, what,..like…75,00 per day?….COME ON TIGER!!!!…THERE IS NO F*CKIN WAY SHE’S GOT A PUZZY WORTH 75K a DAY!!. Give us regular guys a break, man!…You DO KNOW, prostitution is illegal, right !?!?!? GOD-DAMMIT!. man! BALL UP, kick the freakin’ b*tch to the god-damn curb!…Don’t pay her to stay with you!….THINK ABOUT US ONE TIME!
I guess I’m lucky, though…My wife is only asking for $42.35 a week to tolerate my ass….maybe I’m getting a deal?!?!?!?…She sure has a lot more to consider than that (legal) whore Elin has to! WHERE ARE YOU UNCLE SAM!?!?! This just CAN’T be right!!!!