Somebody answer these questions for me….Why the hell is Carson Palmer working out with Terrell Owens?  Why the fuck is he talking about how impressed he is with him?  After all the shit we’ve been through as Bengals fans, is there anyone out there in The Jungle that wants to see this cry baby in Cincinnati?!?!?!?!?  This dude is undeniably the fucking Anti-Christ!  He’s a cancer everywhere that he goes.  Sure T.O. is going to be putting on his best face right now, but his resume show’s exactly who he is.  The dude is unemployed, probably only has 2yrs left, and he’s looking for a pay day.  On top of it, only the RAMS and BENGALS are showing interest.  Shouldn’t that be a clue?  Nobody wants this parasite on their team.  There was at one point, a brief rumor about T.O. going to Washington with McNabb.  But that rumor was cut short.  Because you know McNabb said he wasn’t sharing his momma’s chunky campbell’s soup with this bitch anymore!  Fuck T.O.!  You know as soon as Carson hit’s Chad for a TD pass and not T.O., he’ll be in his hotel room faking another suicide, talking about how  nobody loves him.  Somebody give this dude a hug and send him on his way.

Chud Ocho-el’shithead’o is still more interested in his self-promotion than ANYthing Football related. More proof when he decided against being with his team mates (AGAIN) because he was granted face time by some media outlet…a.nd it really doesn’t matter which one; When you’re a whore like Chud, any D*CK will do!

07:35 AM ET 06.16 | Though dependable, “like birth control,” No. 85 didn’t start out there in his return to practice. Chad Ochocinco caught a 55-yard pass from Carson Palmer in stride, then raised both arms toward a camera (NO FREAKIN’ WAY!!!) filming the Cincinnati Bengalsminicamp from the back of the end zone. Always, he finds the camera. The Pro Bowl receiver took a break from dancing and dating to play some football on Tuesday. He looked rusty at times during his first practice of a mandatory, three-day minicamp — his first workout with the team since a playoff loss to the Jets

“dependable like birth control”….HA!…that accounts for the great games he had against the Jets, huh?….or, any game that mattered in the last 8 seasons!

I’m not sure which is more painfully predictable:
1. Ocho spending more time putting on make-up (for his TV spots) or him putting on his pads (to help his team win),
2.  The fact that the owner of the team is not only saying nothing about it, but probably helped him book the events!, or
3. That the so called ”Bengal” fans will continue to make excuses why this piece of sh*t is still coveted in this town, even though time after time he chooses non-football events over the one he’s suppose to be good at!! –AND PAID TO PERFORM!…???

Add to the predictable amazement is; Come game 10 or 11 when the Bungles aren’t getting it done, this same TV-whore-asshole will call someone else on the team out, and blame them for the playoff-less road they’re on….and how these same fans who show undying love and twitter affections for the Chud, will support his silly ass notions that; No one (else) ever IS to blame. 

The Bengals are going to go from winning the division, to #23 in 2010?…Well, that’s how the self-proclaimed NFL Guru sees it HERE! Ol Pete King doesn’t offer any REASON(s) for why they’ll fall so far, aside from a self-question about Carson Palmer. No, he just randomly places them in the low twenties. I know, typical Peter King, right!

During the 2nd Baltimore game the field stretching Bengal wide receiver Chris Henry went down to an injury and the Bengal offense was never the same. Chris Henry ultimately passed away as the result of a horrific accident that was apparently no one’s fault(oddly)? You recall that?; then Chud Johnson-cinco proclaimed to be Chris’ best friend (to, of course, help promote himself in the media some more), and later sucked ass vs the Jets as the team limped into the Playoffs. A week after being shut-down completely in the seasons’ final game, Chud was shut-up and down AGAIN by the Jets young Mr Revis, and the Bungels were done. Oh, then Chud welched on his bet that he’d change his name back to Johnson, but that’s me running away on a tangent again, and away form the point.

THE BENGALS #23?!?!?!….Good gawd man! They won their division in ’09, refused to sign Terrell Ass’wens in the off-season and added perhaps their best draft class of all time this past April!!,…Yet they’re going to be WORSE in 2010!??…and much worse at that?..Come ON Mr King. perhaps you should jump back on Brett Favre’s jock again?!

The Bengals WILL be in the playoffs in ’10, despite what the “KING” OF DOUCHE SAYS! AND, this YEAR THEY JUST MIGHT WIN ONE! Yes, I said it! Unless Chud cries, whines and punches another coach at halftime because he thinks he’s not getting enUFf balls throw his way, they WILL win a playoff game this year!….That or, if Ocho-stinko is in traction during a large portion of the season AND into that playoff game?..yeah, they’ll win one! You heard it here!

Yeah, this screams “perfect fit”!….don’t it? Yeah, this guy should be in the NFL!(sarcasm)

 Asshole Chud Ocho-Jackass-o eloquently and “oh so cleverly” leaks the news, apparently, via his “twit” page. Yeah,..”ooopsss” Chud, “Did I say thaaaaaaaaaaat”?…F’n tool. Does this mean Russell is a QB that wont make you look bad, Chud? No, that’s just not possible.

Listen, I get that many fools hang on what this ass says, or at least that’s what’s being said, but the pic next to the news about J-Blimp coming to Bengals camp shows a shirtless Chud. Now, w/o stepping into the dog-shit pile that is “Homo-phobia”, just how sweet do you need to be? Add to that that he’s a blowhard wind bag, and well,…maybe I DON’T really understand that people tune in to thing one he shits out thru his phone.

What, was Ryan Leaf asking for too much money?….LEAF OFF THE HOOK

6’5″, 261lbs and can catch the football!  With 66 catches, 950 yrds, and 14 touchdowns his senior year and catching the ball from Sam Bradford (Heismann Winner 2008).  And now he’ll be catching the ball from another previous Heismann winner in Carson Palmer……Yeah, I’ll take that shit all day!  What I like most about this picture, is now all the uneducated weekend bandwagon fans can finally STFU and stop crying about having a receiving TE.  It felt like every week on sports radio talk, I kept hearing one dumbass after another call in crying about “We need a TE”, “We don’t have a TE”.  And not to break off point, but I will, why the fuck do people say “WE” when they talk about their favorite teams?  Sometimes I feel like stopping someone in mid-sentence and saying, “look dude, I haven’t seen your fatass suit up 1 single time.  I haven’t seen you in any pictures with the team.  Nor have we ever been sitting here watching the game and has Marvin Lewis called your stupid ass up and asked you for half time adjustments.  So unless Mike Brown is signing your checks, please stop with this bullshit.  If you want some “WE” in your life, then the next time you say ‘We need to run the ball more’, then ‘WE’  (meaning me and you), are going to put on the boxing gloves and find out just how alone your punk ass is!”

But back on point, I think “WE” are playoff bound again this year bitches!

Bryant comes in with some problems in tow,….then again, this being Bungle country that’s kind of  a requirement here! He also seems to be of the now WAY too popular “I’m-overly-entitled-because-I-play-Football-and-I-am-a-wideReceiver” crowd, that our own Chud Johnson (and TO) is a chapter President of;…aaannnddd,I can’t imagine Bryant being worth 7million a year, considering he’s only “played” at the “high” level one year;…– but, that’s more an NFL economics question than anything else, I guess. He’s been a smaller scale TO, so, I guess we got the lesser (and younger) of two similar evils. STILL!…whew!…its NOT T.O.!   Fantastic!!! Up next, dump the Chump(Chud). Hey, I can hope, right?

WELCOME TO TOWN, Mr Bryant!

To Bengals nation n my fans, sorry for letting you guys down n for doing wat I did. I hope dat u guys continue to support me n all I do! I kno its gonna be hard to believe me but I will do everything in my power to gain ur trust back! I will definitely learn from this!

The quote above was taken from Rey Maualuga’s Twitter account this morning.

I wonder if the girls’ parents of the car he smashed are as willing to forgive and forget.

THIS incident, however, should serve as a reminder to EVERYONE,..men AND woman alike, just how freakin’ stupid it is to freak out over a spouse. Men are generally worse about this than woman are, but both have (collectively) made some INSANE moves, motivated by what some call “love”.

This is your FREE advice for the day, you needy mortals: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SOUL MATE (or anything like that, freaks!)! There just isn’t! First off, there are 6 BILLION people on this planet, and nearly 300 million people in these United States. You think you met the perfect match?..and for some of you, mere minutes after you left High School?….COME ON! If you are THAT ugly and socially clumsy that you think no one else will have you, then you dont need a “partner”, you need heavy doses of Thorazine and a room with rubber walls!

I’m not saying you should use woman like shake-n-bake bags, but there’s also no need to lock down on one like a Pit-Bull to a steak bone. Let’s work towards a little self control, and away from more stories like Tiger and Henry, where dudes (and woman) give up so much, for what amounts to nothing!

Now, let’s hear some good news on Chris Henry!…Pull out of this, Mr Henry!

Oakland, Cleveland (yeah!), St Louis and Detroit are listed (by FOX Sports) below (-me,…”giggity“) the Bungles…..THE SCHEDULE is favorable, you’d think, but 8-8 is (at this point) the most probable finish. How is it Mikey Brown is soooo hated in this town, yet EVERY year there’s this gapping sense that he’s turning it around THIS time!??! He’s a baffoon! Why are the BUNGLE-faithful so easily duped? SOP (Son of Paul) is to running a productive franchise, what ”The View” is to quality programming. I’m all for being optimistic, and I hope Fox Sports and I are wrong here,…I mean, after all…Fox SPORTS has been wrong before!

Last week, the Cincy ‘Quirer ran this story;

With the draft two weekends away, the amount of e-mail from curious fans has increased. And most of it has focused on one player, Chad Ocho Cinco, and one question: Will he be traded? The short answer is probably not. Barring a major change of course, he will be here after draft weekend and should be in Georgetown, Ky., for training camp. Since Ocho Cinco did not show for the voluntary offseason workout program March 30, the rumor mill has increased about the wide receiver’s future with the team. Things went into overdrive last Saturday when a blogger had Ocho Cinco traded to the Raiders for a second-round pick and running back Michael Bush.  (DO IT!, DO IT!, DO IT!!!…ooops, sorry, commentary….)

and the fans responses, are HERE

They bring in little choir boy “Tank Johnson”.
Listen, I’m not saying he won’t help the defense. Truth is he still has a little left in him. I’m just sayin, how are you supposed to clean up a program and give the team an identity, when all you do is bring in criminals.
What, are they a fucking half-way house for these bums? Look at what he brings with him….A troubled past, and 8 game suspension, and an arsonal of assorted small arms. This cat loves his guns. I’ll bet you 10:1 that this guy gets arrested for some sort of gun violoation.

It’s a losing battle trying to keep up with the blundering bungles! I love my hometown Teams, but until Mikey jumps off the purple people eater, we’re fucked!

Sorry this post is kinda lame, but I’m saving all my cracks for the draft. Because I can already feel these bitches getting ready to sign a WR or RB with their first pick, and it will be time to verbally rape them then!

Afterall, when the bengals get a resume with a mugshot instead of a football pic, you know he’s as good as hired. Nice job Brown Family! Keep up the good work at the Half-Way house!

I’m out!

still,..who would YOU take?….

TJ is looking at Seattle, Minnesota and some team called “The Bengals”

Source

Are you serious? We have decided to Tag the KICKER?!?

John Thorton on whats going on with the Bengals. He covers the team. He talks about TJ and Cedric Benson. And, he talks about Marvin.

Once again, Lewis got the nod to guide the North Squad (here in 2009) and his Bungle wisdom shown brightly once again. This time to the tune of a 35-18 drubbing by the South. Once a Bungle, always a Bungle!
Some NFL coaches use this opportunity to get to know the players better, Marvin uses it so that they (the players) get to know ( and expect from) him (and the Bungle organization!) better!

And we thought it was ALL just Son-of-Paul!.

http://www.fatguysports.com/forum/showthread.php?t=979

I blame Chud Johnson, personally. Had Chud not had his “baby-in-a-candy-store” moment back in ’06 (the year the Steelers won their last Championship, kick-off with a game IN Cincinnati no less!) then maybe they DEAL (properly) with the loss of Palmer and finish off the hated Towel wavers! Instead, he cut the locker room into pieces, and not only did they lose the game, but they haven’t regained the “team” spirit since. LARGELY, its been rumored, because few serious players will play here, as it is….with “The Chud and TJ” show taking center stage. SOP is a contributing factor too, but its been stated several times that Cincy is used to leverage a players contract. They use the thought of signing with Cincy, only if it enhances another team to make an offer. Why this still works, is a question I have, but its being done.

Chud infected TJ, or TJ willingly went the Chud route. Either way, “Just-out-for-a-paycheck” Chud (aka: “Media Whore” with a scum bag agent) would rather lose and bitch, than STFU and play, and TJ is following that “play”. As a result, TJ is now no good to anyone here. Marvin “I should have been canned already” Lewis would be better off cutting the cancer(s), and moving on with what he has; - or getting the type of receivers that are on teams that ACTUALLY GET to the playoffs!……Cincy fans, look to Fitzgerald and Boldin to see what IS possible,….then look at what we have! Hines Ward (sure you hate him, but he’s better than Chud!), even the no-namers in Philly. (everyone gets a moment now, to bask in the glow that was the Bungle tie against Philly….sure, its a small “victory”, but its all we get here!)

Good strong defenses, and Arizona make the Final FOUR! (hard as it may be to believe Arizona in there!)….not blubber-mouth and Whiney bastage at wide-out. Palmer missing time this year was a HUGE loss, but still,…he wasn’t going to make a difference enUFf to have gotten this team into the playoffs, nd NO WAY would we have competed with these two teams, this late in the season.

But again, let this sink in,..ARIZONA!,…yes, Arizona!…has already accomplished more in a season, than the Bungles have since the FIRST George Bush was in office!!…ARIZONA!!!!…yeah!,..and either Pittsburgh (again) or Baltimore (again) will make (and WIN) the Super Bowl!. If this don’t just pizz you off, then, you’re already Mike Brown-numb!

As life long fans of both the NFL and the Cincinnati Bengals, we are writing to inform you of our extreme displeasure in the manner in which the Bengals have been operated over the last 18 years. Not coincidentally, this is the time period over which Mike Brown has controlled football operations. As we are sure you are aware, a major factor contributing to the NFL’s popularity is the revenue sharing plan by which each team receives a substantial portion of league proceeds. While this has been widely successful in creating parity and allowing every team to feasibly win the Super Bowl, Mr. Brown does not take advantage of the system by attempting to field a winning team. Instead, he takes advantage of the system by continually avoiding costs atthe expense of improving the team while still benefiting from the generous revenue sharing plan.

In response to recent questions from the Oakland media about whether you might intervene in operations of the Oakland Raiders, you stated: “The Dolphins showed how fast you can turn a franchise around. The Atlanta Falcons have showed how fast you can turn a franchise around….[The Raiders have] been competitive for decades. I’m sure Mr. Davis and the Raiders are going to turn that around.” Mr. Brown, on the other hand, has been non-competitive for decades and has consistently shown no ability to turn the Bengals around.

Between 1980 and 1990, the Bengals reached two Super Bowls and made the playoffs four times. After owner and founder, Paul Brown, died in 1991, control passed to his son, Mike. Since then, the Bengals’ record is 99-186-1 with one playoff appearance, zero playoff wins and the lowest winning percentage (.346) of not only any team in the NFL, but also Major League Baseball, the National Basketball Association and the National Hockey League over the same time period. If Mr. Brown were making a strong effort to create a winning football team, fans might accept this. However, this is not the case. Despite Bengals’ fans desperate pleas’ and local media scrutiny, Mr. Brown has refused to change.

Mr. Goodell, we are asking you to please intervene.

Mr. Brown’s actions are not fair to Bengals’ players, fans and the city of Cincinnati. Nor is it fair to the other 31 NFL teams striving to deliver winning franchises to their respective cities. Surely, since Mr. Brown benefits from the large sums of money stemming from the investments of the other teams and the league itself, the NFL should be able to insist that certain standards are met. Whether it is by requiring or strongly encouraging Mr. Brown to change his non-competitive, highly unsuccessful management, or by employing another method that you and/or the NFL Competition Committee deems appropriate, we urge you to take action. Below, we briefly discuss a few of the large problems with the Cincinnati Bengals as it has been operated under Mr. Brown.

Lack of a General Manager

As you know, the Bengals are one of three teams in the NFL without a General Manager. Jerry Jones and Al Davis have had vastly more success than Mr. Brown. Under Mr. Jones’ 18 year tenure, the Cowboys have made the playoffs 11 times and won three Super Bowls. Under Mr. Davis’s leadership, the Raiders have 12 division championships, four AFC championships and three Super Bowl titles. If Mr. Brown had experienced any success remotely approaching theirs, Bengals fans would understand not employing a GM. But he hasn’t and despite his constant lack of success and incessant calls from fans and local media to do so, Mr. Brown has continually refused to hire a GM. Mr. Brown chooses to save money and retain total control of all player personnel operations at the expense of improving the Bengals.

Although he is in charge of player personnel, Mr. Brown seems completely out of touch with his team. During a rare interview session with Mr. Brown on December 1, 2008, in response to a question, “Where do you think it has gone wrong?” Mr. Brown made the statement “We were counting on (Odell) Thurman as a starter and he fell by the wayside. Our linebacker corps we expected to play with were Thurman, (Keith) Rivers and (David) Pollack.” This is extremely alarming. Odell Thurman has not played since the 2005 NFL season due to multiple violations of the NFL substance policy and David Pollack broke his neck on September 17, 2006. The fact that Mr. Brown was relying on two players who have not played a down of football in two seasons is a heavy cause for concern.

Lack of an Indoor Practice Facility

The Bengals are the northern-most team in the NFL without an indoor practice facility. When the weather is cold, the Bengals ride a bus to practice at a suburban, indoor soccer facility designed for grade school and high school students. To make matters worse, Massillon High School in Canton, Ohio, whose team Paul Brown once coached, recently opened an indoor practice facility. Mike Brown’s response to the Cleveland Plain Dealer was, “Massillon High School is ahead of us…Today, this indoor facility certainly is on the cutting edge for high school football, and it’s consistent with what [Paul Brown] did many, many years ago.” Further, Brian Kelly, the head coach of the University of Cincinnati football team, saw the need for an indoor facility and, within 2 years of his hire, convinced the University to break ground on one. In Mr. Brown’s eyes, what is deemed necessary for a high school and a college team, is not necessary for a professional football team.

Lack of a Meaningful Scouting Department

The Bengals scouting department is much smaller compared to that of other teams. In a recent interview, Mr. Brown claimed that the Bengals have six scouts. Most fans are skeptical if there are that many. Two of the “scouts” are Paul Brown and Pete Brown who are Mike Brown’s son and brother, respectively. Without digging further into the inadequacy of the individuals in the scouting department, a brief and admittedly informal survey of other teams’ program guides and web sites demonstrates that the Bengals’ scouting department is vastly inferior to that of other teams. To name just a few examples, the Indianapolis Colts have 19 people in their player personnel department, 10 of which have a title with the word “scout” in it. The Baltimore Ravens have 20 and 9, respectively, and the New York Giants have 20 and 12, respectively. Also, the Arizona Cardinals, who have had their struggles but are on their way to the playoffs this year, beefed up their scouting department last offseason by hiring 4 additional scouts. However, despite the Bengals’ consistently horrid performance, Mr. Brown maintains both the miniscule size of the scouting department and the same individuals therein.

Signing of Players with “Character Issues” at a Discount

Perhaps due to the lack of an effective GM and a small scouting department, Mr. Brown has continually attempted to cut corners in the past by consistently drafting and signing players with off the field character issues. During one recent stretch, as you know, Bengals’ players had 9 arrests in 10 months. Mr. Brown seizes opportunities to sign troubled players at a discount since most teams won’t sign them. Despite the frequency of player arrests, Mr. Brown has showed no remorse or willingness to change by drafting Jason Shirley in 2008 who was in the midst of a drunk driving and hit-and-run trial (recently convicted of both), resigning Chris Henry despite his repeated troubles and signing Cedric Benson when no other team would due to his off the field, character issues.

Extremely Favorable Stadium Deal Funded by Taxpayers/Fans

Brown’s shortcomings still exist despite the fact that the taxpayers of Cincinnati will have contributed over $800 million to the construction and maintenance of Paul Brown Stadium through 2027. This includes maintenance and renovations of the stadium to keep it on par with new stadiums built over the life of the lease. This clause is just one of many favorable provisions in the lease. According to Public Stadiums, Private Dollars¸ an entire book discussing publicly funded stadiums, the Bengals’ deal was one of the most, if not the most generous stadium deals in professional sports. Despite the contributions from taxpayers, many of whom are fans, Mr. Brown has not evolved with the rest of the NFL and attempted to field a winning team. Taxpayers and/or fans have contributed significantly to the Bengals but have received little, if anything, in return.

Mr. Goodell, again, we urge you to strongly encourage change in Mr. Brown’s anti-competitive, entirely selfserving operations. The current state of the Cincinnati Bengals is bleak. Mr. Brown looks to be retaining head coach Marvin Lewis despite another dismal season. He has indicated that he won’t be hiring a GM or increasing the size of the scouting department. There are still no plans to construct an indoor practice facility. The taxpayers and fans of Cincinnati who have supported Mr. Brown’s Cincinnati Bengals deserve something in return. We have only described the major problems with the organization and surely there are more detailed inefficiencies in comparison to other NFL teams. While the city of Cincinnati and 127 season ticket holders have separately pursued legal action since the date of the stadium lease, to our knowledge, no one has approached you to intervene. Given your commitment to ensuring that the NFL is as competitive as possible to preserve the quality and integrity of the game, we feel obligated to bring these problems to your attention. While requiring Mr. Brown to implement certain competitive practices such as hiring a GM or increasing the number of scouts in order to maintain its membership in the NFL seems completely appropriate, it would be naïve for us to demand a particular solution. We trust that you and/or the NFL Competition Committee will take appropriate measures to correct these problems. Thank you for your time Mr. Goodell. You have done a tremendous job operating the best professional sports league in the world.

Sincerely,
Andrew Simon
President
Who Dey Revolution, LLC
www.whodeyrevolution.com

Who Dey Revolution Mayhem Task # 6

More:

http://www.whodeyrevolution.com/whodeyrevolution/2008/12/project-mayhem-task-6-field-reports-.html