Antonio “dont drug test me” Bryant, formerly of the Cowboys, Browns, 49ers and Tampa Bay! (Oh, and he sat out a year whilst “suspended/dismissed”,..that’s a good thing, right???) Will bring his talents and baggage to CINCINNATI!….Having been one who wanted Lav Coles to work out here, this normally wouldn’t be much cause for celebration,…BUT!, considering the alternative!?…Well, its like “Ocho-Cinco de March Madness” all over this town! Terrell Owens isn’t coming in now!!! Yip-freakin-EEE….AND!, stupid ASS Chud Johnson can explain to his new team-mate how they are gonna be life-long buddies now, after having “twit”-endorsed TO like he was a sex starved School boy! Should make for a cozy relationship, huh?!

Bryant comes in with some problems in tow,….then again, this being Bungle country that’s kind of  a requirement here! He also seems to be of the now WAY too popular “I’m-overly-entitled-because-I-play-Football-and-I-am-a-wideReceiver” crowd, that our own Chud Johnson (and TO) is a chapter President of;…aaannnddd,I can’t imagine Bryant being worth 7million a year, considering he’s only “played” at the “high” level one year;…– but, that’s more an NFL economics question than anything else, I guess. He’s been a smaller scale TO, so, I guess we got the lesser (and younger) of two similar evils. STILL!…whew!…its NOT T.O.!   Fantastic!!! Up next, dump the Chump(Chud). Hey, I can hope, right?

WELCOME TO TOWN, Mr Bryant!

To Bengals nation n my fans, sorry for letting you guys down n for doing wat I did. I hope dat u guys continue to support me n all I do! I kno its gonna be hard to believe me but I will do everything in my power to gain ur trust back! I will definitely learn from this!

The quote above was taken from Rey Maualuga’s Twitter account this morning.

I wonder if the girls’ parents of the car he smashed are as willing to forgive and forget.

Ok, seriously, this REPORT is suggesting that Mr Henry is in some serious trouble, following an apparent mishap in a vehicle possibly driven by a “woman of interest”. This is a horrible situation and I do hope Henry is going to come out of this OK. Any prior dislike of Chris Henry was always FAR short of wishing him any ill will. My wish here is that this is similar to when reports mentioned Tiger Woods was in serious condition….and though he’s got some family issues ahead of him, physically he is well.

THIS incident, however, should serve as a reminder to EVERYONE,..men AND woman alike, just how freakin’ stupid it is to freak out over a spouse. Men are generally worse about this than woman are, but both have (collectively) made some INSANE moves, motivated by what some call “love”.

This is your FREE advice for the day, you needy mortals: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SOUL MATE (or anything like that, freaks!)! There just isn’t! First off, there are 6 BILLION people on this planet, and nearly 300 million people in these United States. You think you met the perfect match?..and for some of you, mere minutes after you left High School?….COME ON! If you are THAT ugly and socially clumsy that you think no one else will have you, then you dont need a “partner”, you need heavy doses of Thorazine and a room with rubber walls!

I’m not saying you should use woman like shake-n-bake bags, but there’s also no need to lock down on one like a Pit-Bull to a steak bone. Let’s work towards a little self control, and away from more stories like Tiger and Henry, where dudes (and woman) give up so much, for what amounts to nothing!

Now, let’s hear some good news on Chris Henry!…Pull out of this, Mr Henry!

Sound about right?….Well, not to the water-cooler gang in Cincy who have playoff visions dancing in their heads! WHY?, probably because Mikey Brown is such a shrewd business man\owner, I’d guess. Certainly it can’t be much fact-based hope!…”OH, but Keith Rivers will be back, and we drafted well this April!”….ooooh, well, how could Fox Sports and I BOTH miss that news infusion!?!?…I hear Andre Smith won’t likely be signed until September one!..typical Mikey Brown!

Oakland, Cleveland (yeah!), St Louis and Detroit are listed (by FOX Sports) below (-me,…”giggity“) the Bungles…..THE SCHEDULE is favorable, you’d think, but 8-8 is (at this point) the most probable finish. How is it Mikey Brown is soooo hated in this town, yet EVERY year there’s this gapping sense that he’s turning it around THIS time!??! He’s a baffoon! Why are the BUNGLE-faithful so easily duped? SOP (Son of Paul) is to running a productive franchise, what ”The View” is to quality programming. I’m all for being optimistic, and I hope Fox Sports and I are wrong here,…I mean, after all…Fox SPORTS has been wrong before!

…I say, “Are you kidding me”?…This franchise, and THIS yutz, were made for each other.

Last week, the Cincy ‘Quirer ran this story;

With the draft two weekends away, the amount of e-mail from curious fans has increased. And most of it has focused on one player, Chad Ocho Cinco, and one question: Will he be traded? The short answer is probably not. Barring a major change of course, he will be here after draft weekend and should be in Georgetown, Ky., for training camp. Since Ocho Cinco did not show for the voluntary offseason workout program March 30, the rumor mill has increased about the wide receiver’s future with the team. Things went into overdrive last Saturday when a blogger had Ocho Cinco traded to the Raiders for a second-round pick and running back Michael Bush.  (DO IT!, DO IT!, DO IT!!!…ooops, sorry, commentary….)

and the fans responses, are HERE

Ya really gotta hand it to the Bengals Front office and Father Marvin Lewis! They preach Change, They preach New Attitude, They preach being responsible for your actions and being a good person on and off the field, so what do they do, you ask?????

They bring in little choir boy “Tank Johnson”.
Listen, I’m not saying he won’t help the defense. Truth is he still has a little left in him. I’m just sayin, how are you supposed to clean up a program and give the team an identity, when all you do is bring in criminals.
What, are they a fucking half-way house for these bums? Look at what he brings with him….A troubled past, and 8 game suspension, and an arsonal of assorted small arms. This cat loves his guns. I’ll bet you 10:1 that this guy gets arrested for some sort of gun violoation.

It’s a losing battle trying to keep up with the blundering bungles! I love my hometown Teams, but until Mikey jumps off the purple people eater, we’re fucked!

Sorry this post is kinda lame, but I’m saving all my cracks for the draft. Because I can already feel these bitches getting ready to sign a WR or RB with their first pick, and it will be time to verbally rape them then!

Afterall, when the bengals get a resume with a mugshot instead of a football pic, you know he’s as good as hired. Nice job Brown Family! Keep up the good work at the Half-Way house!

I’m out!

We’ve all seen projections from the Kiper-wanna-bee’s (including Kiper himself!) that the #6 pick could be a WR, LB, OL or, GAWD forbid, a RB!….I’m ALL for the Bungles to pick the Virginee OL or if the dude from Baylor slips past St Lou, to take him…..if both are gone, though,..and the Bungles take Smith? (from ‘Bammer, who left the combine w/o notice?) then they’d be opening themselves up for more criticism….Whoever takes the guy will, though….and though some experts have him UNdrafted for the first DAY!,..other have him still (after the Pro-Day in Bama) as a top 10 pick….so,…Can the Bungles afford to pick him, if the 1st two OL’s are gone?…..not likely to fall that way,..but possible.
Do they then take Crabs?….JUST because the Raiders want him?…..or would the Raiders just take the overall best WR on the board (Percy Harvin) and not sweat a bead?…….seems unlikely the Bengles would play a “card” anyway……and Crabs is a super potential-kid….

still,..who would YOU take?….

OK Fatguys, it is official.  TJ is now a Seahawk.  Houshmandzadeh signed a 5 year deal last night worth a reported $40 million dollars with$15 million dollars guaranteed.  TJ was a high profile free agent catching more balls over the last four seasons than any other receiver in the NFL.  Unfortunately, I don’t buy TJ’s story that things just felt right.  There is nothing that you can say that will convince me that this was about one thing and one thing only, cold hard cash.  I enjoyed watching him play here in Cincinnati, but I won’t miss his constant bitching on the field when he doesn’t get a call.  TJ was turning into another Chud, and god knows that we don’t need another one of those.  Good luck TJ, enjoy the weather.  Oh yeah, by the way, the Seahawks went 4-12 last year too.

TJ is looking at Seattle, Minnesota and some team called “The Bengals”

Source

Are you serious? We have decided to Tag the KICKER?!?

John Thorton on whats going on with the Bengals. He covers the team. He talks about TJ and Cedric Benson. And, he talks about Marvin.

..how things are done in Cincinnati!
In 2003, Marvin got the call to coach up the North (College Seniors) squad in the Senior Bowl,…their response?…A 28-10 loss to the South.

Once again, Lewis got the nod to guide the North Squad (here in 2009) and his Bungle wisdom shown brightly once again. This time to the tune of a 35-18 drubbing by the South. Once a Bungle, always a Bungle!
Some NFL coaches use this opportunity to get to know the players better, Marvin uses it so that they (the players) get to know ( and expect from) him (and the Bungle organization!) better!

And we thought it was ALL just Son-of-Paul!.

http://www.fatguysports.com/forum/showthread.php?t=979

I have been saying it since the season ended; The Bengals need to draft a pass rusher or an O-Lineman.  I still stand by that.  Having said that, I think that I may be ok with Rey Maualuga.  Face it, dude can straight up play.  Rivers and Maualuga anchoring the Linebackers is not a bad thought.  It appears that Keith is excited about the thought of reuniting.  I guess I am going to concede that as long as SOP doesn’t draft Beanie Wells, or any other RB/WR I am okay with it.

MOBILE, Ala. - Rey Maualuga, the heart-and-soul of USC’s history-making defense, is working out with the Bengals’ Keith Rivers this offseason partly because Rivers’s No. 55 drove him to be better. So it would make sense if the NFL Draft reunited them in Cincinnati.

“I would love to,” said Maualuga of the prospect of playing next to Rivers next season as he checked in Sunday at the Senior Bowl. “Two Trojan linebackers back-to-back again. For me, my big deal is to get discovered. (The NFL) knows my name, but they don’t know how I practice, compete, play. Give everything I’ve got today, during the week, to basically go out and do what I’ve been doing.”

And that is become the best middle linebacker in this game with Ohio State’s James Laurinaitis choosing not to play. He’ll play for the South Saturday opposite a Bengals coaching staff that is expected to be considering Maualuga very seriously with the sixth pick in April.

Click HERE for More

It should taste a little like envy, and a little like shame!….Pittsburgh AND Baltimore play to decide the AFC Champion!…and, VERY likely, the Super Bowl Champion too!…..Unless you want to believe that Warner and the ‘Zona Offense or Philly’s “How-does-overtime-work” QB will beat either of these Bengal rivals!???….Which they WON’T!!

I blame Chud Johnson, personally. Had Chud not had his “baby-in-a-candy-store” moment back in ‘06 (the year the Steelers won their last Championship, kick-off with a game IN Cincinnati no less!) then maybe they DEAL (properly) with the loss of Palmer and finish off the hated Towel wavers! Instead, he cut the locker room into pieces, and not only did they lose the game, but they haven’t regained the “team” spirit since. LARGELY, its been rumored, because few serious players will play here, as it is….with “The Chud and TJ” show taking center stage. SOP is a contributing factor too, but its been stated several times that Cincy is used to leverage a players contract. They use the thought of signing with Cincy, only if it enhances another team to make an offer. Why this still works, is a question I have, but its being done.

Chud infected TJ, or TJ willingly went the Chud route. Either way, “Just-out-for-a-paycheck” Chud (aka: “Media Whore” with a scum bag agent) would rather lose and bitch, than STFU and play, and TJ is following that “play”. As a result, TJ is now no good to anyone here. Marvin “I should have been canned already” Lewis would be better off cutting the cancer(s), and moving on with what he has; - or getting the type of receivers that are on teams that ACTUALLY GET to the playoffs!……Cincy fans, look to Fitzgerald and Boldin to see what IS possible,….then look at what we have! Hines Ward (sure you hate him, but he’s better than Chud!), even the no-namers in Philly. (everyone gets a moment now, to bask in the glow that was the Bungle tie against Philly….sure, its a small “victory”, but its all we get here!)

Good strong defenses, and Arizona make the Final FOUR! (hard as it may be to believe Arizona in there!)….not blubber-mouth and Whiney bastage at wide-out. Palmer missing time this year was a HUGE loss, but still,…he wasn’t going to make a difference enUFf to have gotten this team into the playoffs, nd NO WAY would we have competed with these two teams, this late in the season.

But again, let this sink in,..ARIZONA!,…yes, Arizona!…has already accomplished more in a season, than the Bungles have since the FIRST George Bush was in office!!…ARIZONA!!!!…yeah!,..and either Pittsburgh (again) or Baltimore (again) will make (and WIN) the Super Bowl!. If this don’t just pizz you off, then, you’re already Mike Brown-numb!