Even though you haven’t stepped on the field yet as teammates, I’m sure you two have been chatting on yahoo and retweeting all of your ideas for dances and shit like that.  But let me be the first to say, “Don’t even fucking try it!”.  You have no hope of beating this dance.  Just try to get through the next few months of football, then you can get back to your careers as talk show hosts and dancing shows.  Hell, maybe next year you two can dance together.  I have to be honest, when I heard Ocho say today that Terrell was their #1 receiver, the first thing that went through my mind was he’s already T.O.’s bitch.

I’ve watched this video 50 times this morning!  GEORGE TEAGUE you are in the Mother Fuckin’ Fatguysports.com Hall of Fame for not allowing that shit to go on in YOUR HOUSE!  You want to know why Dallas has been coined “America’s Team”?  Watch this video over and over and over and over and over!  And just when you think you understand, watch it again!   Dude that shit is about Pride, Honor, Courage, Respect.    I’m not a fan of Dallas, but show me 1 video of Bengals Defense doing that or anything similar to it.  Even after Teague blasted Owens, Owens didn’t even go after him, he just went and stood on the star again.  But Teague, he dodges a fatass lineman, then goes after his ass.  I’ll take a team full of  guys like George Teague every day of the week before I’d take guys like Ocho and Terrell-O.

You gotta be ready for football after seeing that!

PS – Wasn’t it nice to see Emmitt Smith Running the ball again?

FOXSPORTS – Silvia Mena, 25, who is nearly four months pregnant, claimed the Washington Redskins player met her in Miami late last year and romanced her during Super Bowl week.

In papers to be filed in a New York court, she said that after Haynesworth, 28, found out about the pregnancy in late February, he promised to “emotionally and financially support” her.

But “after making such promises … Haynesworth has abandoned the pregnant Silvia Mena … He has refused to provide any emotional or financial support of Silvia Mena or his unborn child.”

The documents claim that Haynesworth — who signed a $100 million contract with the Redskins last year — refused to talk to Mena from late March.

Hmmmm…He “Romanced her during Super Bowl week”?  If by “Romancing” they mean going into the strip club, dropping a couple grand on a few lapdances, and informing her that he was the $100 million man…..then I agree, he romanced her.  What the fuck ever!  He saw a hot chick and she saw dollar signs.  End of Story!  Now there’s a baby on the way.  If he was just some schmoe, he never would’ve got in her panties in the first place.  And if he did, she never would’ve dreamed of going full term with the pregnancy.  But Albert is an easy meal ticket for the rest of her life.  Maybe next time Fat Albert will spend the $5 for some jimmy hats

If you don’t what a “Jimmy Hat” is, prepare to be enlightened by Mr. Ice Cube

Some of my favorite NFL games to watch are snowy, rainy, muddy, really cold weather, and all of the other natural elements.  The Hollywood show that has been the Superbowl for the last ump-teen years has been all about the week leading up to the superbowl, advertising dollars, and trying to create the perfect environment.  I’m glad that someone finally had the balls (or money) to stand up and say the game should be played in the natural environment.  Fuck all this perfect weather bullshit.  Some of the greatest games ever played were in 2′ of snow, can’t see the field, so fucking cold that bones crack and guys didn’t even know it.  I love this move by the NFL.  I would even take it a step further and say that instead of designating a stadium 5 yrs in advance, that you just let the team with the best regular season record be the home team for the superbowl.  Afterall, the 12th man is an important part of the game.  How about having a little hometown action going on?  If you want more info, you can read it HERE on ESPN!

PS – I realize the picture has nothing to do with the story.  But when I think of my “happy place” in “perfect weather”…that’s what I think of!
PSS – If you don’t like it, get your own blog and post whatever pics you want bitches!

Recap, early in the 2009 season Oregon got whooped by Boice State.  Being the good sport that Blount is, he decided he was going “Sucker Punch” an unhelmeted Boise State player that was talking trash during the game.  What a bitch move!  Everybody talks trash in a football game.  Hell, if you read the CINCYSOFTBALL.COM FORUMS, you can read all the trash talking about the trash talking that went on in a beer drinking league.  Trash talking and sports go hand in hand.  But when the game is over, it’s over.  But not for Blount!  And now this bitch is in the NFL doing the same shit.  Initially signing with the 49ers, then realizing he would have to compete for playing time, then decided to run off to the Titans where there is no competion.  Can’t wait to see him cry like a baby when he hears the shit talking in the NFL.  All I know, is when Ray Lewis starts talking about how he was banging Blounts momma the night before the game, blount won’t say shit!  Have fun in Tennessee.

PS – I think he ran from the 49ers because if he pulled some of that bullshit he pulled at Oregon, Singletary would’ve knocked his punk ass out!

These two yo-yo’s are really very funny, how they so ademantly define the draft as if they have a stake in ANY player taken! Or that either of them will ever be held accountable for being wrong. OK,…so MAYBE the rumor that SOP (Son-of-Paul) uses them as his scouting department is true, aside!

Noting the throngs of failed draft picks both these guys swore on, its hard to imagine ESPN still has a tolerance for supporting a “Draft-Guru” in any capacity!

A few months ago, TODD McShay had Washington Huskies QB Jake Locker as the BEST QB in the country! He also broke down Jimmy Clausen as a hack – primarily because he’s 6’2″ and “only” 216lbs???; NOT!,..not that he’s an under .500 QB in College with exactly Zero impressive wins to his credit, despite playing for a top recruiting team ever year he was there!” NO!..its definitely because he’s 6’2″ DUMBASS! Yeah, HE’S the “expert”. Then he got into THIS great argument with “Mel Kiper Jr”,..and soon after he shUFfles his love to Sam Bradford. Then during the actual Draft, he couldn’t blow Jimmy Clausen hard enUFf!?? Oh, but he’s DEAD on with his Tim Tebow eval’s, right?…oh, sure!

NFL scouts/insiders have these things to say about McShay-Shay! (highlighted by these shown direct quotes) Click the link for the whole rant!  McShay does not have any good connections,” the source opined.  “Higher-ups in the league think he is an arrogant asshole.   &   In our view, McShay does present well on television, where the requirement isn’t to know what you’re talking about but to seem like you know what you’re talking about. 

Of course the only thing this douchebag is steady on?…His hate for all things Tebow!…“He can’t play quarterback in the NFL, I’m convinced of it,’’ ESPN director of college scouting Todd McShay said. “From his delivery to his footwork to his accuracy, you have to absolutely strip him down and build him back up. And it’s too late.’’…He would go on to say how Tebow would be lucky to even GET drafted, much less “early”!!…What a Putz,….then he and Kiper(another Tebow hater) had to sit there and watch as THREE teams (Denver, Minnesots and bUFfalo) vied to get him! All the while Jimmy hUFfed and pUFfed his way down the pecking order. Oh, and I should add that NEITHER (Kipe or McShay) has EVER been in charge of developing an NFL QB in their LIVES! They’re lucky they can SPELL “QB”! While the credentials for the guy who HAS, Josh McDaniels of Denver, gets bashed by both!?! Let’s see,…Kiper and McShay have NEVER Coached at ANY level, and McDaniels has done THIS!?….

HHmmm?, yeah, I think I’ll let the guy who HAS walked the walk tell me who could or couldn’t be a QB before those two D-Bags. Then they, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle DUMB, spend the rest of this weekend telling the Football World why this CAN’T work! Not even leaving open a slight chance that the guy who owns two Title rings, a Heisman, and NCAA records a plenty, can succeed. No!.NONE! Tebow PLAYED against Bradford (and WON!) and he garnered more Titles and hardware than any other QB that played College Ball. YET!, he’s given no chance by two guys who “CALL” themselves “Experts”!?? OK, so playing well in College doesn’t grant you a perfect NFL career,…but NO CHANCE?…What kind of experts ARE they??? I think even if I were a NON fan of Tim Tebow’s, I’d be looking forward to seeing them look bad here!! I understand, though, if YOU personally don’t!

OK,..so to each their own, and to each their opinions,…right, I get that. Still, when you refuse to allow even the small notion that the guy who’s JOB it is to develop a QB totally washout in comparison to your own relatively UNEDUCATED opinion?; then you should probably find a new network to work for….maybe Boomerang, for these two? Will Tebow win a Super Bowl in the NFL?….maybe?…maybe not, and I understand his chances of being called a resounding success will be VERY LONG!…..Look at our own Carson Palmer! Is HE a bust?…many could say yes!….If he ALSO had a less than idea throwing motion, he probably would be already!, and that would be a mistake,…..too!

SO?….So let’s (her) DANCE

Get used to being on the ground, because that’s what happens when you’re the QB in Washington.  Good thing you don’t have to move very far, you can take your momma and her “Chunky Soup” with you.  Because you’re gonna need lots of huggs from mommy and when you get your grill busted open, you won’t be able to eat solid foods anyway.   I hate seeing the great players hang on for too long and end up fading away on a bad team.  This is worse than watching Jerry Rice to go Oakland.  I hated JR anyway, he was with the 49ers both times they beat the Bengals in the Superbowl, so he can kiss my ass anyway.  Good luck with the Redskins and be sure to stay in touch with your over the hill buddy Brian Westbrook, because he’s going to Cleveland.  A choice worse than yours, but not by much.  We look forward to watching you getting repeatedly thrown to the ground like a crackhead that refuses to pay  the neighborhood pharmacist!

Bryant comes in with some problems in tow,….then again, this being Bungle country that’s kind of  a requirement here! He also seems to be of the now WAY too popular “I’m-overly-entitled-because-I-play-Football-and-I-am-a-wideReceiver” crowd, that our own Chud Johnson (and TO) is a chapter President of;…aaannnddd,I can’t imagine Bryant being worth 7million a year, considering he’s only “played” at the “high” level one year;…– but, that’s more an NFL economics question than anything else, I guess. He’s been a smaller scale TO, so, I guess we got the lesser (and younger) of two similar evils. STILL!…whew!…its NOT T.O.!   Fantastic!!! Up next, dump the Chump(Chud). Hey, I can hope, right?

WELCOME TO TOWN, Mr Bryant!

Quick review: Chud Johnson acted like a little freakin’ jackass in the locker room during half-time of the 2005 season play-off game against Pittsburgh. In a game where the Bungles lost Carson Palmer and needed a guy to mature and step up, they got Chad Johnson the f’in baby-ass instead! They still led at halftime; but! Chud, knowing there were camera’s rolling out on the field, was upset about NOT getting enUFf balls thrown his way. After all, he needed to exploit his face and camera’s generally followed the ball, not guys who’s nads fold up inside their bodies during big games! SO!, because he’s so juvenile and assy (its a word!) he reportedly got in such a “tizzy” that he took a bitch slap at a Coach. I can only imagine it was a “bitch slap” because Chud seems like he’s a sissy-bitch. After all, I’ve seen him try to block, and anytime he’s been hit, he’s gone DOWN  (Gawd I love that vid!) like a sack of dirt!. Chud did start to block a little in 2009, but at 14-million a year that’s a little late for him to get props. Then there’s that dive he took late in the game up in bUFfalo a few years ago, when he was just too scared after getting grazed?(The video showed he was almost completely missed!) That was about pathetic. Still, I understand many of the fans in town still bend over for his ass, so, he’s a least got y’all fooled. Of course, most of you probably chase the red (laser) light up and down the wall too. After all, side-shows like Chaud are here to divert attention. His side-shows acts, which have failed to help “his” team win even ONE playoff game (or even ONE must win game, for that matter), stay…but, he wont even once try the STFU and play method JUST once to see if that MIGHT be MORE helpful to an actual TEAM minded goal (WINS!)?… than his Bullshit skits have? (and they’ve failed miserably at all “TEAM” goals)…. Well, I sure hope winning is still a goal here….despite continual evidence to the contrary.

Anyway!…If the SECOND playoff game the Bengals “hosted” (and have BEEN in since 1990!) Mr “Productive”-o decided that after he was shut-down by D Revis in the Season’s FINAL game of the year (the week before), that he’d buckle down and concentrate ONLY on Football to prepare himself like a professional might, in an effort to help his team win this pending playoff game!….YEAH RIGHT!!…HA!..Man, that’s a freakin’ laugh!..No, instead, in typical jackass form he promoted himself (yawn, again!) by expressing that he’d “own” Revis in the rematch. He went on that week to continue to busy himself with other-than-football-related issues, such as; Express that the “man-on-man sex” he had during the week was proof he was “ready” to play, and then further ready himself by arranging to have the big rig truck he bought himself for his birthday; delivered and set up on display at the stadium. You know, all the important things ALL those wr’s from Indy and N’awlins do/did before their games. Yeah, RIGHT!(again)…Chud also busied himself by proposing that he’d change his name back to “Johnson”, if Revis wasn’t his “bitch” by game’s end. Well, add bet welcher to Chud’s long list of asinine characteristics. The D!ck-head still goes by that ridiculous Ocho-crap-o name! and still, the drones of fans stand by him (while he laughs at them).

Chud’s list of accomplishments continue with his bashing of the City, the fans, and all the players who expected him to actually lead the team by “playing” well (novel concept, eh?)….AND, as a team leader (defined by his time here, his salary and his self-promotion) he was critical of the expectations of him???? After all, they only get to play Cleveland TWICE a year!…OH, and he had that really good game against Miami that year they only won one game;….in week 17 no less!

THIS is the guy endorsing another guy who is as BIG an asshole, but has advancement down the diminished capacity career line a slight bit more! The Bills let him walk, and its been reported that NO OTHER TEAM HAS ANY INTEREST IN TERRELL OWENS at all. CHUD has taken all he’s meant to the city, and all that TO brings to the table, and the fact NO ONE else wants him, and decided assholes love company, and pioneered the Bungles signing the senior distraction/cancer! In true BT Barnum fashion, Mikey Brown has listened, and will probably sign this Class “A”9as in asshole) distraction and team destroyer. They made strides last year, but were a deep threat short of a good offense. Signing a guy NO other team wants, JUST MAKES GOOD SENSE! After all, we still have Chud!…and if HE were anything close to as good as he (and some of YOU) think?..He’s have moved on LOOOOONNNGGG ago! He knew no other team wanted him, and that no other fan base would put up with his diversionary clown antics. Other teams and other teams’ fans expect winning football over clowns!…or, at least a careful mix of both!

I feel really really bad for The Saints,….all they got was a Super Bowl win,….WE still have Chud and his tired ass act!…SUCKERS!!!…AND!, as a bonus, WE still use that tired old chant we stole from them YEARS ago!; ”Who Dey!?”…”WHO DEY?” (HA HA in their FACES!!!)….Well, since 1990?, “Who Dey” = everyone!! Can you imagine a more ridiculous chant for a this team? The only team to have zero playoff wins since 1990?!?!?

IF there is a saving grace here, its this;…..THERE does exist ONE guy in the NFL who is a BIGGER (and better) self-promoting media whore, than Chud (though to THIS guys credit, he has achieved a ga-zillion times more than Chud in his career); and that’s, you guessed it, Brent (I know) FaVre! The whore is going to prolong his “retirement/staying” presser for a few months yet, so I guess the idea that he and TO hook up for a last hoo-haa, is a possibility!??? The NFL has LONG lost its “sport” focused approach, and has been slowly sliding into the being what “pro” Wrestling is; Side-bar stories and distracting loud-mouthed idiots are now the driving force!….Sadly, its been eaten up by the fans so well, its now all the foundation the NFL has left, and what they now need to pursue to continue. This is no longer “Football”, but just another long-breathed staged Reality Show. Drink it in!….ITs gonna be grape flavored THIS year!

The G-String Question: Is the reaction dumber than the question itself? HELL YES!

The Bucs are off the hook.  The single dumbest question of the NFL Scouting Combine was asked to Oklahoma defensive tackle Gerald McCoy.

“Someone asked me if I wore a g-string or a jock strap when I played,” McCoy told the NFL Network set Monday to disbelief, laughter, and amazement.

Analyst Mike Mayock wanted to know McCoy’s reaction to the question.  The affable defender just left his mouth open in a stunned expression. 

We heard a few stories in Indianapolis of coaches jokingly messing with players during interviews, but none sounded as creepy as this.

The video of the interview is oddly not yet on NFL.com. That’s probably a coincidence.  Or perhaps the league is embarrassed.

REALLY, Jackass?..You think the NFL is embarrassed that some one reported that a player was asked a question off of the normal script? Gheesh, how long have you been following Pro Football? These questions judge reaction, no one is interested in the actual answer,..well, unless it involves Paris Hilton, a bipolar Koala bear, and a rented U-Haul.

The general reaction has been that poor Mr McCoy should be offended!….Awww, maybe if his feelings ae hurt, the question served its purpose. After all, it was HE who felt the need to share this snip-it with the rest of the class. The “character flaw”, in part, is ALL his!

Well, they made another one, just for you!

Go figure, apparently SOME people are uptight!?!?.. People in this country can get freaked out about some one else’s opinion or views?..WOW! -Who’d have thunk it?

To Bengals nation n my fans, sorry for letting you guys down n for doing wat I did. I hope dat u guys continue to support me n all I do! I kno its gonna be hard to believe me but I will do everything in my power to gain ur trust back! I will definitely learn from this!

The quote above was taken from Rey Maualuga’s Twitter account this morning.

I wonder if the girls’ parents of the car he smashed are as willing to forgive and forget.

And for all the Farve haters out there……….BITE ME!

Farve is my kind of cat!  He’s a “Real” kind of guy and I love that.  He’s not always politically correct, he where’s his heart on his sleeve, and he plays the game because he “LOVES THE GAME”…..

If you can’t admire that, then your sorry ass didn’t get enough hugs as a child and you probably have a spouse at home telling you what a loser you are!  And they are RIGHT!!!!

Brett Favre‘s former teammate, said the QB’s dustup on Sunday night with Vikings coach Brad Childress exposed what he said is the truth behind the Vikings: That Favre is calling the shots for the team.

“Everybody in Minnesota knows that Brett Favre is running that organization,” LeRoy Butler, a Packers safety from 1990-2001, told the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. “When the head coach leaves and goes and picks him up in his SUV, and brings him to the facility. Everyone knows who’s running the Minnesota Vikings.”

Favre said he had a “heated discussion” with Childress on Sunday when the coach tried to remove him from the game. Childress downplayed the severity of the disagreement, but said he was worried that Favre was being hit too much.

Cracks may be showing in the Childress-Favre relationship that blossomed when the coach recruited the QB out of retirement his summer. ESPN’s Kevin Seifert categorized six stress points that have opened up between the two this season.

Butler said that Favre was wrong not to accede to Childress’ wish to lift him from the game, but said the Vikings share blame because they knew what they were getting from him.

“Brett is a chip, Super Bowl or bust, all in,” he told the Journal-Sentinel. “So you knew Brett was a diva, you knew Brett wanted it his own way, you knew this all along. It was just a matter of time before it happened.”

Butler also said that other players on the Vikings surely have taken notice that Childress has lost control of Favre.

“If I’m Percy Harvin, and I have a question on a route or a play, I’m going right to Brett Favre,” he told the paper. “If I’m Adrian Peterson and I’m not getting the carries I want, I don’t go to Childress or (OC Darrell) Bevell, I go to Brett Favre. He’s running the team. All this falls on Brett.”

This is hilarious!…Brett Favre is a bitch too?…Media Whore, DIVA, AND a little cry-bitch….great stUFf Mr Butler! You’ve always been a great player(and a former ‘Nole), and now, I think you’ve just worked your way into the ESPN NFL pre-game line-up!…At least you’d get my STRONG endorsement!!! You think Bitch-Brett will get into Coaching for REAL,..later? Who’d want to take direction from this guy then???

Grasping the incredible opportunity to enhance his image and feed his whore-dog ego, Chud Johnson is using this death to further market his ugly mug and insatiable ego. As if his faux-cry/”tear-up”MADE”-for TV (event) locker-room interview this week wasn’t enUFf; OR in poor enUFf taste!; -He’s not going to simply honor a fallen team-mate in the team-oriented respectable manner! No!, he’s going to increase HIS exposure for this event, by wearing the #15 jersey in today’s game at San Diego (an honorable thing?…maybe, in some cases). Of course this is going against the direction of the league, as if he’d do it had they granted him permission???. There just wouldn’t be the same effect or whore-out opp here if that were the case. Though, in line with his “Lets-make-the-NFL-like-”Pro”-wrestling” directive, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to (some day) hear that this was the “plan” by both the Whore himself, and the NFL marketing team. Seeing as Chud has a history of setting up his skits, even going as far as to “plant” fans at Lambeau for his leap, you can understand at least questioning this….??

There might be a small authentic notion here, at least being used as the basis for this “yet-another-Chud” game time exposure only, stunt. Henry was, after all, a team mate of D*ck-head’s, so, I can understand the mask of sincerity he’s using to promote his promotion. Its just that, using his history,  if there’s not an angle in it for him- he’s not pursuing it. I also believe that yes, he is that addicted to his “drug” to take the death of a friend (supposedly) and use it to feed his habit. Again, I use his past as the main reasoning behind this thought. That, and I’ve never seen or heard anything to suggest that Chud was “inner-circle” with Henry before this happening (or vise-versa). If that was the case, where was Chud’s influence when Henry was in trouble? Chud was probably busy working on some “overly-useful”(see sarcasm) stupid ass dance routine, hell bent on helping his team win!

Some people are going to just assume this is a sincere gesture, and I get that. We’d all like to think it is. Sadly, that’s what con men bank on, and use to promote their schemes! Chud has devoted MORE time creating media buzz, than he has in preparing himself to helping his team. Proof?…He worked out for the first time this off-season…..and everyone knows how he used that news to create a media outlet….not the fact that it was the first time he’d prepared for a season. his loyal fans just ate it up,…again, I understand the gullible (to a point) -that’s why I post those scam alerts on the board. People are falling for less sophisticated scams than the ones Chud runs! Chud also took a swing at a Coach at half-time in the only playoff game in the last 20+ years, because he’s a selfish prick! The Bengals, of course, ended up losing that game to the hated Pitt-Steelers! (sound like a guy who is respectful, or just interested in himself?)

There is, apparently, another media interested party as some NFL Union rep has pledged to pay Chud’s fine and match that fine in contributions to a fund. At least this guy (name not given on purpose) if donating a tangible “something” to the issue….unlike Chud who only piggy-backs on issues. Quite like how he was one of only a few Bungle players to NOT give their time and sweat to this community(building homes), he only lends in where he can “appear” to be a man in interest. Remember the game where Motorola bought the left-over tickets to a game this year? Yeah, THEY actually bought the tickets, Chud just showed up to pass them out after ensuring there would be camera crews covering the self-made story.

The NFL has allowed for the proper method of showing respect for the passing of their team-mate. Chud, of course, not satisfied that this alone will feed the monkey on his back, has to increase exposure JUST for himself, by drawing a fine (again, one he probably pursued as a gimmick). He could, if he was/is genuine in his appreciation for this as a cause, donate a game check to the Henry kids trust fund; – or establish a College Fund for them?….NOOooooo, they might not cover that on ESPN and he’d actually have to PAY out something real. He’s quick to disclose how “well-to-do” he is, and I’m sure he is,…so, offer up this game check to your “fallen pal” Chud!….Give his kids a foundation to assure they are taken care of in a positive way. Not in JUST a way that you get more “Face-time”,…you freakin’ WHORE!

I’ll retrack this rant, if I hear where Mr Big-shot took the initiative (on his own) to do something like establish a fund for the 3 Henry kids,prior to the post date anyway. Noting what good friends they were and all (more sarcasm).

I didn’t want to end this by saying anything negative about Chris Henry, but its not going to happen. Chris Henry was a trouble-maker in the past….however, he did make strides of late to take (at least) account of his public image. I have no idea if this was just LUCK, or what, but you give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Still, this wasn’t a passing due to something heroic, or disease related, or even a general mishap around the house. The man jumped into the back of a truck, knowing he has 3 children to consider. Sure, that’s a bit harsh, but as a 26 year old WITH 3 kids, its also an important (“harsh”) reality. Kids are supposed to change how you approach situations. Or, at least they should. They do/did for me. I’m not saying anyone lives in a bubble as a result, but this was a POOR choice at best! The point here is that OVER-honoring a man who left behind responsibilities like he did, maybe should be done so in a tempered manner and not one which draws MORE attention. Of course, it WOULD have been such a dedication, if it weren’t for THE media whore Chud Och0-mediaWhore-o!. Who would, no doubt, exploit his mother’s good name for a 15 second ESPN piece?

More inherent is the”tragedy” that will befall his 3 kids. Yeah they will, in ALL likelihood, be raised by the same woman who “killed” their father! How scary is THAT? Had she acted like an adult, in the absence of Henry acting as one, and just not driven away knowing he was in the back – this never happens. Her continuing to drive has to be, at a bare minimum, 50% of the fault. Had he been driving and she’d been in the back, then fallen to HER death, he’d be in jail right now. Yeah, his kids are going to be raised by that woman!….That should scare a good friend like Chud too!???…naaahh!, not if he can’t angle some face-time out of it!

 UPDATE!!…apparently douchebag wised up, and decided he’s already gotten the attention he sought, from the jersey thingy. He’s backing off. One credit for Chud!….

THIS incident, however, should serve as a reminder to EVERYONE,..men AND woman alike, just how freakin’ stupid it is to freak out over a spouse. Men are generally worse about this than woman are, but both have (collectively) made some INSANE moves, motivated by what some call “love”.

This is your FREE advice for the day, you needy mortals: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SOUL MATE (or anything like that, freaks!)! There just isn’t! First off, there are 6 BILLION people on this planet, and nearly 300 million people in these United States. You think you met the perfect match?..and for some of you, mere minutes after you left High School?….COME ON! If you are THAT ugly and socially clumsy that you think no one else will have you, then you dont need a “partner”, you need heavy doses of Thorazine and a room with rubber walls!

I’m not saying you should use woman like shake-n-bake bags, but there’s also no need to lock down on one like a Pit-Bull to a steak bone. Let’s work towards a little self control, and away from more stories like Tiger and Henry, where dudes (and woman) give up so much, for what amounts to nothing!

Now, let’s hear some good news on Chris Henry!…Pull out of this, Mr Henry!

 LUCKY YOU’Z!……

Top Ten Reasons I’m a Douche, by Chud the dud;

10. Its 2009, yet I still wear fake gold teefs!

9. I promote the mohawk!…and NO, I’m not 12 years old!….????

8. I’m a self-promoting media whore….I sacrifice winning Football games to get Face-time!….I can’t stop doing that!

7. I yell at other players, say bad things about the City I play in, the people, the team, and the fans; then say I’m sorry and expect to be loved again!

6. I think I’m a Hall of Famer, and even had a two year old cut letters & numbers out of electrical tape and then stick them on a jacket I got from Goodwill, to prove it! (I’m insecure!)..yeah, then I wore the hideous thing on the side-lines during the game!…can you believe that sh.t???….Wow, I’m a douche!

5. I changed my name to “8″, “5″  (in Spanish) and not “85″ because I did no research whats-so-ever into the Spanish language, and just assumed “8″ and “5″ meant 85…(you know, like in “Inglish”!) in my efforts to forge an “in” into the Spanish market. I tried to market this 2 years ago, but, dumb as I am, I f*cked up the paper work. I also forgot to check with the NFL about doing this, and had to stay “Johnson” for a year. Fortunately, ….Spanish fans are as easy to dupe as American fans are!!!

4. I block as effectivly as a wind-chime prevents tornados!

3. I punched a Coach during half-time of the only playoff game in Bungle history (last 20 years, actually), because I thought they weren’t throwing me the ball enUFf….We were winning at the time, then after I acted like a freakin’ idiot, we went out and lost the game….yeah, Pittsburgh is our #1 rival, and they ended up winning another Super Bowl as a direct result of my ass’ness!

2. I count a double-homicide knife killer like Ray-Ray Lewis among the people who have influenced me and help me pursue a media whore life. He killed 2 guys in a bar down in Atlanta, then walked from it!…HAHAHAHA!…yeah, and a few years later, the Ravens voted him “Man of the Year” for their team….fans ate that sh.t up!….tell me they’re not stupid!…I love dumb fans!

1. I took a dive in a game against bUFfalo a few years ago. It was a game that would have possibly carried us to the post-season, but then some idiot called for me to run a quick slant, and the DB almost took my head off….you know, because I’m a d.ckhead a lot of times,..so,…he said I should just stay down or he was gonna “F” me up good,..so,…sh.t, man,…I stayed down!…After all, I’m a puzzy too!

 

…”Gheesh, there are tons more, Dave,…you sure you just want 10 reasons why I’m a f*ckin’ douchebag?…like, I work on skits and stunts to do after scores, which prove important to me, but not the team I’m suppose to be helping to win games?, or,….Oh, I paid some fans to sit in the front row at a Green Bay game, so if I scored I could jump in the stands!…uh, let’s see, I wear shirts with “Louis Vuitton” on them, proving I’m transexual too-as a call out to the homosexual fans…Yeah, I know, that’s pretty pathetic,….as is most of the stunt-crap I do!….
WHAT?..Get the “what” outta here?…Hey, wait a minute, I LIKE people with gaps between their front teeth,…Maybe I’ll get a gap like that cut into a pair of gold teefs and we’ll do a song together?….huh?…What’ya mean, Paul throw a tuba at this a$$hole??….”—————————- flat-line!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CJ Spiller or Mardy Gilyard?….Spiller rates (presently) as perhaps the higher pick, but how could SOP (or YOU AS SOP!?!?!) “pass” on this kid Gilyard without pause? I say you got a tUFf call there,….but I take MG! WHY?…Cause, more than anything, I want to dump Chud Ocho-stinko off the squad, and if I DIDN’T just move his clown-act ass to GET this pick, I trade him after I make it for anything I could get!…yes, even for a cooler full of Sam Adam Octoberfest bee-yuhz!

Of course, what are the odds we get a front line DE (Hardy) and then fall into another first-round pick (trade Chud!…trade Chud!…) particularly with the REAL SOP and Katie in charge!?!?!?

Apparently it applies to those players who killed people (even double homicide stabbings), have beaten women, made it rain and crippled people, drown underperforming dogs, and hUFf enUFf drugs to sink a ship. Yeah, do any of that (and more I missed) and you can play w/o a problem. Try and buy into a franchise though, and BAM!….can’t use that saying anymore.

Rush Limbaugh, who I could personally give two dead flies for either way, was involved in a partnership proposing to buy the St Louis Rams….yeah, I know,…WHO would want them? Still, why can’t The Rush use the old “HEY!,..give me a second chance”!!….after all, there are a large number of PLAYERS in the NFL that have done REAL physical harm, DEATH EVEN, to a good number of people, but they “get another chance”….Most recently and as equally as FAMOUSLY, was Mikey Vick. Donte Stallworth KILLED a guy! Look, I don’t even CARE who ends up with the franchise, its just seems hypocritical to me to hear these arguments….and then hear that phrase used over and over to support the players for re-instatement.

Rush Limbaugh said some things, and some things have been attached to him that haven’t ever been confirmed, it appears. Oh, and; He’s “paid” his dues!(that’s another biggie!),..He was removed from ESPN for THIS, again, not an absolute cut-n-dry case, it seems. But he lost his job, and was crushed in the media!  One response in that link, says there is ”No room in sports broadcasting for racism”. I accept, believe and support that notion full bore!…However, I cannot believe murders ARE something that same person (who made that quote, you can read it there for yourself) would endorse….Yet there are several in the NFL who have BEYOND A DOUBT, killed people. And Ray-Ray who just paid the families of the guys HE killed, to shut up and go away. Certainly the substance in the case against Ray-Ray was at least EQUAL to that evidence against the Rush-guy. Kepp Rush out!..fine, but take the others out too!

Again, it bears another mention, that I do not view Limbaugh in a good personal light here, and could really care less about his pursuit on most levels; BUT if you’re allowed to keep him out, why not the others who have done much worse? Where’s his 2nd chance?….Rape, Murder, Drugs, Sexism, multiple arrests….all those are “second chance worthy”, but not Rush?…Fake reverand Al Sharpton can get into politics, but Limbag is out as an NFL owner?….Al Sharpton is perhaps THE biggest racist on this planet!(and a darn sizable hypocrite too).