Soon, there will be a NEW Jackass in town! Hated in towns across America!;…From San Fran, to Baltimore, to Philly, to Dallas, and even bUFfalo!….He’snow headed here, and you can thank Cincy team mouthpiece, Chud Ocho-Side-Show-act-o for his interest. Yeah, many of the same fans who find value in Chud, a jerk who cost his team in both playoff loses (out of 2 …and both were at home, btw….meaning, this team was suppose to win those games) will LOVE following hims as he endorses an even  bigger distraction to our town! The same guy who killed his team by just being “himself” in both our playoff games (in the last 20+ seasons), wants to further ruin the team by bringing in his equally distracting idol….and, maybe his lover, too?…TO! (totally owesome!)

Quick review: Chud Johnson acted like a little freakin’ jackass in the locker room during half-time of the 2005 season play-off game against Pittsburgh. In a game where the Bungles lost Carson Palmer and needed a guy to mature and step up, they got Chad Johnson the f’in baby-ass instead! They still led at halftime; but! Chud, knowing there were camera’s rolling out on the field, was upset about NOT getting enUFf balls thrown his way. After all, he needed to exploit his face and camera’s generally followed the ball, not guys who’s nads fold up inside their bodies during big games! SO!, because he’s so juvenile and assy (its a word!) he reportedly got in such a “tizzy” that he took a bitch slap at a Coach. I can only imagine it was a “bitch slap” because Chud seems like he’s a sissy-bitch. After all, I’ve seen him try to block, and anytime he’s been hit, he’s gone DOWN  (Gawd I love that vid!) like a sack of dirt!. Chud did start to block a little in 2009, but at 14-million a year that’s a little late for him to get props. Then there’s that dive he took late in the game up in bUFfalo a few years ago, when he was just too scared after getting grazed?(The video showed he was almost completely missed!) That was about pathetic. Still, I understand many of the fans in town still bend over for his ass, so, he’s a least got y’all fooled. Of course, most of you probably chase the red (laser) light up and down the wall too. After all, side-shows like Chaud are here to divert attention. His side-shows acts, which have failed to help “his” team win even ONE playoff game (or even ONE must win game, for that matter), stay…but, he wont even once try the STFU and play method JUST once to see if that MIGHT be MORE helpful to an actual TEAM minded goal (WINS!)?… than his Bullshit skits have? (and they’ve failed miserably at all “TEAM” goals)…. Well, I sure hope winning is still a goal here….despite continual evidence to the contrary.

Anyway!…If the SECOND playoff game the Bengals “hosted” (and have BEEN in since 1990!) Mr “Productive”-o decided that after he was shut-down by D Revis in the Season’s FINAL game of the year (the week before), that he’d buckle down and concentrate ONLY on Football to prepare himself like a professional might, in an effort to help his team win this pending playoff game!….YEAH RIGHT!!…HA!..Man, that’s a freakin’ laugh!..No, instead, in typical jackass form he promoted himself (yawn, again!) by expressing that he’d “own” Revis in the rematch. He went on that week to continue to busy himself with other-than-football-related issues, such as; Express that the “man-on-man sex” he had during the week was proof he was “ready” to play, and then further ready himself by arranging to have the big rig truck he bought himself for his birthday; delivered and set up on display at the stadium. You know, all the important things ALL those wr’s from Indy and N’awlins do/did before their games. Yeah, RIGHT!(again)…Chud also busied himself by proposing that he’d change his name back to “Johnson”, if Revis wasn’t his “bitch” by game’s end. Well, add bet welcher to Chud’s long list of asinine characteristics. The D!ck-head still goes by that ridiculous Ocho-crap-o name! and still, the drones of fans stand by him (while he laughs at them).

Chud’s list of accomplishments continue with his bashing of the City, the fans, and all the players who expected him to actually lead the team by “playing” well (novel concept, eh?)….AND, as a team leader (defined by his time here, his salary and his self-promotion) he was critical of the expectations of him???? After all, they only get to play Cleveland TWICE a year!…OH, and he had that really good game against Miami that year they only won one game;….in week 17 no less!

THIS is the guy endorsing another guy who is as BIG an asshole, but has advancement down the diminished capacity career line a slight bit more! The Bills let him walk, and its been reported that NO OTHER TEAM HAS ANY INTEREST IN TERRELL OWENS at all. CHUD has taken all he’s meant to the city, and all that TO brings to the table, and the fact NO ONE else wants him, and decided assholes love company, and pioneered the Bungles signing the senior distraction/cancer! In true BT Barnum fashion, Mikey Brown has listened, and will probably sign this Class “A”9as in asshole) distraction and team destroyer. They made strides last year, but were a deep threat short of a good offense. Signing a guy NO other team wants, JUST MAKES GOOD SENSE! After all, we still have Chud!…and if HE were anything close to as good as he (and some of YOU) think?..He’s have moved on LOOOOONNNGGG ago! He knew no other team wanted him, and that no other fan base would put up with his diversionary clown antics. Other teams and other teams’ fans expect winning football over clowns!…or, at least a careful mix of both!

I feel really really bad for The Saints,….all they got was a Super Bowl win,….WE still have Chud and his tired ass act!…SUCKERS!!!…AND!, as a bonus, WE still use that tired old chant we stole from them YEARS ago!; ”Who Dey!?”…”WHO DEY?” (HA HA in their FACES!!!)….Well, since 1990?, “Who Dey” = everyone!! Can you imagine a more ridiculous chant for a this team? The only team to have zero playoff wins since 1990?!?!?

IF there is a saving grace here, its this;…..THERE does exist ONE guy in the NFL who is a BIGGER (and better) self-promoting media whore, than Chud (though to THIS guys credit, he has achieved a ga-zillion times more than Chud in his career); and that’s, you guessed it, Brent (I know) FaVre! The whore is going to prolong his “retirement/staying” presser for a few months yet, so I guess the idea that he and TO hook up for a last hoo-haa, is a possibility!??? The NFL has LONG lost its “sport” focused approach, and has been slowly sliding into the being what “pro” Wrestling is; Side-bar stories and distracting loud-mouthed idiots are now the driving force!….Sadly, its been eaten up by the fans so well, its now all the foundation the NFL has left, and what they now need to pursue to continue. This is no longer “Football”, but just another long-breathed staged Reality Show. Drink it in!….ITs gonna be grape flavored THIS year!

To Bengals nation n my fans, sorry for letting you guys down n for doing wat I did. I hope dat u guys continue to support me n all I do! I kno its gonna be hard to believe me but I will do everything in my power to gain ur trust back! I will definitely learn from this!

The quote above was taken from Rey Maualuga’s Twitter account this morning.

I wonder if the girls’ parents of the car he smashed are as willing to forgive and forget.

Yeah, in what can only be 3 or 4 inches left of criminal, CONSTANT media Whore Chad “Ocho-uno” Cinco Conoco(phillips) (yeah, that’s added for effect), “slash”/”A$$hole extraordinaire”, is about to venture into the next level of “ASSness”; with his latest shameless excuse to pump up his own horn. “Chud”, as he’s unlovingly called here, is going to don the #15 jersey of the now late Chris Henry. Henry, as you might already know, passed away last Wednesday night following a tragic event where he was, apparently, thrown from the back of a truck driven by his soon to be wife….and bio-mother to 2 of his 3 children. In Chud’s mind, this is a OPP to push his own cause!

Grasping the incredible opportunity to enhance his image and feed his whore-dog ego, Chud Johnson is using this death to further market his ugly mug and insatiable ego. As if his faux-cry/”tear-up”MADE”-for TV (event) locker-room interview this week wasn’t enUFf; OR in poor enUFf taste!; -He’s not going to simply honor a fallen team-mate in the team-oriented respectable manner! No!, he’s going to increase HIS exposure for this event, by wearing the #15 jersey in today’s game at San Diego (an honorable thing?…maybe, in some cases). Of course this is going against the direction of the league, as if he’d do it had they granted him permission???. There just wouldn’t be the same effect or whore-out opp here if that were the case. Though, in line with his “Lets-make-the-NFL-like-”Pro”-wrestling” directive, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to (some day) hear that this was the “plan” by both the Whore himself, and the NFL marketing team. Seeing as Chud has a history of setting up his skits, even going as far as to “plant” fans at Lambeau for his leap, you can understand at least questioning this….??

There might be a small authentic notion here, at least being used as the basis for this “yet-another-Chud” game time exposure only, stunt. Henry was, after all, a team mate of D*ck-head’s, so, I can understand the mask of sincerity he’s using to promote his promotion. Its just that, using his history,  if there’s not an angle in it for him- he’s not pursuing it. I also believe that yes, he is that addicted to his “drug” to take the death of a friend (supposedly) and use it to feed his habit. Again, I use his past as the main reasoning behind this thought. That, and I’ve never seen or heard anything to suggest that Chud was “inner-circle” with Henry before this happening (or vise-versa). If that was the case, where was Chud’s influence when Henry was in trouble? Chud was probably busy working on some “overly-useful”(see sarcasm) stupid ass dance routine, hell bent on helping his team win!

Some people are going to just assume this is a sincere gesture, and I get that. We’d all like to think it is. Sadly, that’s what con men bank on, and use to promote their schemes! Chud has devoted MORE time creating media buzz, than he has in preparing himself to helping his team. Proof?…He worked out for the first time this off-season…..and everyone knows how he used that news to create a media outlet….not the fact that it was the first time he’d prepared for a season. his loyal fans just ate it up,…again, I understand the gullible (to a point) -that’s why I post those scam alerts on the board. People are falling for less sophisticated scams than the ones Chud runs! Chud also took a swing at a Coach at half-time in the only playoff game in the last 20+ years, because he’s a selfish prick! The Bengals, of course, ended up losing that game to the hated Pitt-Steelers! (sound like a guy who is respectful, or just interested in himself?)

There is, apparently, another media interested party as some NFL Union rep has pledged to pay Chud’s fine and match that fine in contributions to a fund. At least this guy (name not given on purpose) if donating a tangible “something” to the issue….unlike Chud who only piggy-backs on issues. Quite like how he was one of only a few Bungle players to NOT give their time and sweat to this community(building homes), he only lends in where he can “appear” to be a man in interest. Remember the game where Motorola bought the left-over tickets to a game this year? Yeah, THEY actually bought the tickets, Chud just showed up to pass them out after ensuring there would be camera crews covering the self-made story.

The NFL has allowed for the proper method of showing respect for the passing of their team-mate. Chud, of course, not satisfied that this alone will feed the monkey on his back, has to increase exposure JUST for himself, by drawing a fine (again, one he probably pursued as a gimmick). He could, if he was/is genuine in his appreciation for this as a cause, donate a game check to the Henry kids trust fund; – or establish a College Fund for them?….NOOooooo, they might not cover that on ESPN and he’d actually have to PAY out something real. He’s quick to disclose how “well-to-do” he is, and I’m sure he is,…so, offer up this game check to your “fallen pal” Chud!….Give his kids a foundation to assure they are taken care of in a positive way. Not in JUST a way that you get more “Face-time”,…you freakin’ WHORE!

I’ll retrack this rant, if I hear where Mr Big-shot took the initiative (on his own) to do something like establish a fund for the 3 Henry kids,prior to the post date anyway. Noting what good friends they were and all (more sarcasm).

I didn’t want to end this by saying anything negative about Chris Henry, but its not going to happen. Chris Henry was a trouble-maker in the past….however, he did make strides of late to take (at least) account of his public image. I have no idea if this was just LUCK, or what, but you give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Still, this wasn’t a passing due to something heroic, or disease related, or even a general mishap around the house. The man jumped into the back of a truck, knowing he has 3 children to consider. Sure, that’s a bit harsh, but as a 26 year old WITH 3 kids, its also an important (”harsh”) reality. Kids are supposed to change how you approach situations. Or, at least they should. They do/did for me. I’m not saying anyone lives in a bubble as a result, but this was a POOR choice at best! The point here is that OVER-honoring a man who left behind responsibilities like he did, maybe should be done so in a tempered manner and not one which draws MORE attention. Of course, it WOULD have been such a dedication, if it weren’t for THE media whore Chud Och0-mediaWhore-o!. Who would, no doubt, exploit his mother’s good name for a 15 second ESPN piece?

More inherent is the”tragedy” that will befall his 3 kids. Yeah they will, in ALL likelihood, be raised by the same woman who “killed” their father! How scary is THAT? Had she acted like an adult, in the absence of Henry acting as one, and just not driven away knowing he was in the back – this never happens. Her continuing to drive has to be, at a bare minimum, 50% of the fault. Had he been driving and she’d been in the back, then fallen to HER death, he’d be in jail right now. Yeah, his kids are going to be raised by that woman!….That should scare a good friend like Chud too!???…naaahh!, not if he can’t angle some face-time out of it!

 UPDATE!!…apparently douchebag wised up, and decided he’s already gotten the attention he sought, from the jersey thingy. He’s backing off. One credit for Chud!….

FatGuySports field reporter, Richard Gozinya, was able to obtain a copy of the “Top ten list” that Chud’s gonna read, whilst he further whores himself on Letterman this Thursday!

 LUCKY YOU’Z!……

Top Ten Reasons I’m a Douche, by Chud the dud;

10. Its 2009, yet I still wear fake gold teefs!

9. I promote the mohawk!…and NO, I’m not 12 years old!….????

8. I’m a self-promoting media whore….I sacrifice winning Football games to get Face-time!….I can’t stop doing that!

7. I yell at other players, say bad things about the City I play in, the people, the team, and the fans; then say I’m sorry and expect to be loved again!

6. I think I’m a Hall of Famer, and even had a two year old cut letters & numbers out of electrical tape and then stick them on a jacket I got from Goodwill, to prove it! (I’m insecure!)..yeah, then I wore the hideous thing on the side-lines during the game!…can you believe that sh.t???….Wow, I’m a douche!

5. I changed my name to “8″, “5″  (in Spanish) and not “85″ because I did no research whats-so-ever into the Spanish language, and just assumed “8″ and “5″ meant 85…(you know, like in “Inglish”!) in my efforts to forge an “in” into the Spanish market. I tried to market this 2 years ago, but, dumb as I am, I f*cked up the paper work. I also forgot to check with the NFL about doing this, and had to stay “Johnson” for a year. Fortunately, ….Spanish fans are as easy to dupe as American fans are!!!

4. I block as effectivly as a wind-chime prevents tornados!

3. I punched a Coach during half-time of the only playoff game in Bungle history (last 20 years, actually), because I thought they weren’t throwing me the ball enUFf….We were winning at the time, then after I acted like a freakin’ idiot, we went out and lost the game….yeah, Pittsburgh is our #1 rival, and they ended up winning another Super Bowl as a direct result of my ass’ness!

2. I count a double-homicide knife killer like Ray-Ray Lewis among the people who have influenced me and help me pursue a media whore life. He killed 2 guys in a bar down in Atlanta, then walked from it!…HAHAHAHA!…yeah, and a few years later, the Ravens voted him “Man of the Year” for their team….fans ate that sh.t up!….tell me they’re not stupid!…I love dumb fans!

1. I took a dive in a game against bUFfalo a few years ago. It was a game that would have possibly carried us to the post-season, but then some idiot called for me to run a quick slant, and the DB almost took my head off….you know, because I’m a d.ckhead a lot of times,..so,…he said I should just stay down or he was gonna “F” me up good,..so,…sh.t, man,…I stayed down!…After all, I’m a puzzy too!

 

…”Gheesh, there are tons more, Dave,…you sure you just want 10 reasons why I’m a f*ckin’ douchebag?…like, I work on skits and stunts to do after scores, which prove important to me, but not the team I’m suppose to be helping to win games?, or,….Oh, I paid some fans to sit in the front row at a Green Bay game, so if I scored I could jump in the stands!…uh, let’s see, I wear shirts with “Louis Vuitton” on them, proving I’m transexual too-as a call out to the homosexual fans…Yeah, I know, that’s pretty pathetic,….as is most of the stunt-crap I do!….
WHAT?..Get the “what” outta here?…Hey, wait a minute, I LIKE people with gaps between their front teeth,…Maybe I’ll get a gap like that cut into a pair of gold teefs and we’ll do a song together?….huh?…What’ya mean, Paul throw a tuba at this a$$hole??….”—————————- flat-line!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chud OchoCinco is about to litigate a crime upon the Breast Cancer Society, in an attempt to advance his personal image (you’re shocked, I know!). This fraud has played many tunes since he arrived in Cincinnati, and most have been aimed at furthering his media exposure and/or to con the fans. Sadly, many of you love his tired and sometimes harmful (to the team) antics, and “receive” him as the Poor-man’s Billy White-Shoes Johnson!….Although, I should have prefaced that comparison by saying Billy “WS” Johnson was supremely tallented and an entertaining player (who still works in the NFL - w/ The Atlanta Falcons)…..Chud,” imo”, is far from that!

The Icky Shuffle!…was another entertaining routine, by a player who wasn’t all about himself! What seperates those legends from this current idiot, is that they did their “celebrations” with the emphasis on the Touchdown, not on themselves alone. Chud Ocho-blowhard-o does his lame team-defeating dance-numbers with only himself in mind. Same goes for his skits(dumb ass jacket) and stupid ass acts; Like the velcro-name on his back, or the stupid shoes in Indy; (Which cost him a series since he had to go change them - meanwhile a REAL Pro like Marvin Harrison was scoring a TD,  in a game we needed to win);…Its so involving for him that he uses time during the week to create his “treats” which do NOTHING to help the team win!,…First of all, how pathetic is that? (answer: VERY!)Considering the record for this team over the many years, maybe spending that “extra” time on dances isn’t really the best use of that time?…then again, when all you’re out there to do is promote your face, it’s not a waste at all is it??. Seems like he’s in the best town in all the NFL for this kind of clowning. In other towns you’re expected to WIN games, dancing is done on your own time! Here “we”, or more correctly, “YOU”, promote and encourage his defeating habit. So much that the (NOW RARE) TD celebrations continue, right along with the losing. Present record withstanding. Thankfully for Chud-o he plays FOR Cincinnati AND, he gets to play Cleveland twice (this) a year!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and King “Twit” has apparently “tweeted” to the “twit” masses that he intends to go overboard to show (fake) that he cares about this great cause. Well, he CARES about it, but only because he sees it as a means to make more people think he cares about something genuine, and not just himself. This may be his biggest load-o-sh.t of all time (CONGRATES DOUCHE-ASS!). How can you tell?…Simple. IF!..IF he cared about the cause, he wouldn’t belittle it by wearing the pink to silly-ass excess. He’d show proper respect, and wear the pink to the standards set by the organization that created the symbol. This is a desease that kills people, not some Booster Club who might be helped by dis-respecting it to media whore standards! Him going over-board is intended to bring MORE attention to himself, while riding on the back of the very REAL organization.

Secondly, he’s “twitted” to the tweeter masses that he’s already has set aside his “bail” money (fine money) in anticipation of an NFL fine (like he’d have to actually “set-aside” that money,..another BS point from him). This is the BIG red flag here. If this asshole was sincere about promoting the cause and not himself, he’d have already checked with the Union and the NFL to see if this display was OK, or if it would violate the rules. Either he did, an this is a “set-up” like his Lambeau Leap was, or they said go ahead whore, just do it!…He is, quite possibly, using the threat of a fine to enhance his own personal cause, and enhance his image (something along the lines of;.. he’ll even challenge the NFL to show his (fake) support!).

The Cincy SHEEP, or “Rubble-fans”, will eat this up like a starving cat!…He and his agent are banking on this, literally!…and, they laugh the hearty laugh at your simple ignorance! He’s using the “Poor-poor-pitiful-me” “I’m-just-trying-to-help-a-cause-here” plea, but the big-bad NFL hates me, angle….again!, All in hopes you’ll lap it all up. Sadly, he’s probably already bagged a good many of you. Just goes to prove why SO many con-people, internet scamers and carneys make so much money every day. Its rube’s like you who fall for the shit that keeps them in high finance!

FIGHT THE CON!….tell the media whore that enUFf is enUFf!……Support the cause (Breast cancer awareness), not the idiot trying to exploit them for his own gain!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, the Bungles discover a new way to look bad. As if 20 straight seasons of zero playoff wins and one + .500 season, now they’re inventing ways to make it on ESPN ….I know, I know, NO ONE wants to see it again, but HERE.  Remember, 1/2 the teams lost on opening day!  -nah, didn’t think that’d help.

Here, have a beer:

Its almost worse than that freakin’ 86 yard usc drive Saturday night!….blah!

Thanks to YOU, Mr Kelly. 70 points, though, isn’t that kinda like runnin’ up the score or something? Be interesting to see how a certain hypocrite fan base balances the hate for some teams that use to run up the score, and this UC team……I’ve always been a fan of scoring;….”Teams that can score, score…..”teams that can’t, complain about the teams that can“….still, I’ve heard a lot of bad things in relationship to scoring more than you need to,…just saying.

The SOP run NFL Bungles were given an extension of one day, to sell the 5000 tickets required to get the Denver Opener on TV….yeah, because 5000 locals were ALL just waiting until “Paycheck” UFriday to snatch up those tics! Hold off “sheep”, not that the piece of chit Mikey Brown gives crap one either way, still…let him not hear you!

Good GAWD, the message has been sent already….GO BEARCATS!

Hate Boston fans in general?…Heck yes, I can understand that. Hate the NFL Patriots? NO WAY!

Richard Seymour is a (and was a) super football player, and proved it without being much of an ass. Until recently. Unable to reel him into the mix, the Patriots unloaded him to Oakland for a 2011 first round pick. News of this trade sent “woodies” thru Oakland’s massive fan base. Unfortunately, Seymour must be regretting his lawyer/agents suggestions, and has failed to report to the Raider camp. …uh-oh!…Asshole remorse?….lets hope so!

Just like the Wonderers found out,…DON’T F**K WITH THE WONGS!….Don’t “F” with the cut-off sleeved Belichick man! The team dont NEED you, YOU need the team! You want to demand chit or over-value yourself inspite of the TEAM?…NOT HERE MISTER! NO player runs the show in Patriot Village! That’s why THEY win, and a BIG reason why the Bungles lose! SonOfPaul (mike brown to the layman) likes having Chud divert some away from the losing with his “LOOK AT ME” crap, while he rings the register and laughs at the sheep!

Unlike our Chump Bungles, who hold on to rotting fruit long after its value has passed (yes, Chud goes here), the Pats burn off a dude who is already grumping about money needs. In the last year of his 3.7 mil contract and pounding the pavement for a long term commit, Richie has worn out his welcome on a team that seeks winning over whining. Odd concept ’round THESE parts, eh!?? We keep the disease, and forfiet on the team. They, well, “they” just bring home the wins, that’s about all you need to take from that! We live off of “BUT THIS YEAR IT’LL BE DIFFERENT”, while they shine up Super Bowl Trophies….

“They” have it sooooo tUFf!

..or “girl”, I can’t be sure.

I was challenged in a poorly written email, on my inferred stance on Unions in this country. While its true, my original mention of it was Sports related. In reply to “Brad” (if that’s your real name), here’s the reasoning, or, my beef with unions.

Back in the day, mostly the 1800’s through the mid 1900’s, the Unions did some great things for the American workers. Sure!,..Back in those times if employers had their way, you would work 12 hours a day feeding stank-ass paper pulp into a printing press in some hot dangerous factory for starve-wages. Then at the end of your shift, to clean out the machinery, they would have you run your scrotum through the “gears” a few times in order to get all the extra ink out of there. You’d go home with “bells” that looked like a goo-wad of Silly Puddy, that had been “pressed” on to the classified section of your local Cincy Enquirer! Try and get “serviced” with your “yad-kuhs” looking like THAT! Yeah, those were not envious times to be an American factory worker, as The Man was always out to screw you and pinch himself a few more pennies.

So along came unions and changed all that. Because of the contributions of many courageous individuals, they were able to lower the work day from 14\12 hours to eight. They improved safety regulations and established workers’ compensation. In fact they fixed everything up all nice and dandy. So if everything got fixed, why are unions still around today? ….-and therein lies the problem with them. They have outlived their usefulness.

I will illustrate this point with an overly graphic analogy: Imagine you are a woman who has a little case of “feminine itch.” You go to the gynecologist and he does his thing and fixes your problem –YEA YOU!. AH!,..but even after the problem is fixed, he follows you home and keeps diddling with your crotch! In this illustration, you are “America” and the gynecologist is the “union”. It inspires this new work related slogan: For the love of God, you union bastards! Show some respect and get your fingers out of the “AEV”! …*(American Economic Vagina!)….Now again, this is just a hyped illustration, as the fem itch could come back, and yes, you need gyno’s in your World. The point - they just need to know when to stop, and stop costing you $$$ and jobs! We pay Firefighters even when they DO NOT do anything for us individually, but Unions are not Firefighters!

This also applies to the Football, Baseball, and all Sports-run Unions. Stop ruining the game for the people you all CLAIM to be playing it for!…The fans! Of course NO one is naïve enUFf to think any Pro Sports figure is playing the sport for ANYTHING except the money,…BUT!, still, since THEY use it, I will! Unions collect dues, and therefore HAVE to make it look like they are always “doing” something…even when there is little to nothing to do…So, they create issues and make it appear as if they’ve still got a lot more to do. They don’t! Unions now are costing Americans far more than they are contributing…..of course telling that to a Union Worker is akin to telling Oprah to put DOWN that 4th ham!

Brad, I encourage you to write me YOUR supportive views on Unions in America…just please make it easier to read than your hate e-mail was. Thanks!

The Cincinnati Bengals still dont have their #1 Draft Pick, Andre Smith (OL- Alabama), signed and in camp. To this date, The Bengals have played 2 pre-season games and had 25 days of camp without him. So, why bother? His agent is hell-bent on risking the year, and Katie and SOP don’t look to be bending much. Why should they?

First of all, I hate Agents and I hate the Unions in professional Sports. Neither makes the games better for me or ANY fan. All they do is tie the hands of small market teams, and reduce the level of play in every sport. They tie down teams with contracts that restrict moves and prohibit most teams for getting better, even in Sports with Salary Caps

Andre Smith, it is believed, “wants” at least as much ”G” money (guaranteed money) than the Raiders dealt out to their #1 pick,  Darius Heyward-Bey,..which many Football people said at the time he signed, was  TOO HIGH. Why does an unproven draft pick NEED all that “G” money ANYWAY?..Well, because they themselves know they aren’t worth it, but figure NFL teams are tied to the Union and will give it up. He’s just gonna be Rick Hunley all over again anyway!….send him to Denver now and just get it over with!

Smith, who comes in with issues, or baggage, wants right around $28 million guaranteed!….and at this point in the year, he’ll barely be worth a 10th of his projected annual salary. (even by the rediculous NFL Rookie standards). I say why take a first round pick? Look at the 2005 Draft, for example. The top ten picks…. (5 here:) Alex Smith, Ronnie Brown, Braylon Edwards, Cedric Benson,…any of these worth 28 mil guaranteed? There were some solid players in that Draft, for sure (Shawne Merriman for example), but you’re better off paying for proven talent. Skip the First round, and sink 24 million in a better bet! The Drafts EVERY year are full of bad players who are given BIG money that help sink YOUR favorite teams! And why?…Unions!…Unions and Shylock Lawyers (agents). If the players ARE going to benefit the teams, and play up to the deals, why do they need the ”G” money? You ever hear of anyone giving back bonus money they didn’t earn?

How long before Detroit realizes satisfaction on Stafford’s deal?….NEVER! That team will never make out on that guy. No way, no how. They should have just traded for Cutler and spent the saved money on the 20 or 30 other areas of need!

Sit out Andre Smith, we wont miss ya ANY damn way!….WE GOTS CHUD!!!!

Sound about right?….Well, not to the water-cooler gang in Cincy who have playoff visions dancing in their heads! WHY?, probably because Mikey Brown is such a shrewd business man\owner, I’d guess. Certainly it can’t be much fact-based hope!…”OH, but Keith Rivers will be back, and we drafted well this April!”….ooooh, well, how could Fox Sports and I BOTH miss that news infusion!?!?…I hear Andre Smith won’t likely be signed until September one!..typical Mikey Brown!

Oakland, Cleveland (yeah!), St Louis and Detroit are listed (by FOX Sports) below (-me,…”giggity“) the Bungles…..THE SCHEDULE is favorable, you’d think, but 8-8 is (at this point) the most probable finish. How is it Mikey Brown is soooo hated in this town, yet EVERY year there’s this gapping sense that he’s turning it around THIS time!??! He’s a baffoon! Why are the BUNGLE-faithful so easily duped? SOP (Son of Paul) is to running a productive franchise, what ”The View” is to quality programming. I’m all for being optimistic, and I hope Fox Sports and I are wrong here,…I mean, after all…Fox SPORTS has been wrong before!

Not exactly a RINGING endorsement, as it was written in the EquiRag’er today. Apparently some one must have accussed Palmer of saying Chud is a dudd, or something, huh..?…and he was on damage-control duty. I offer Carson (or any other Bengal) that opportunity to say it here, ANY-UFreakin’TIME!….’cuz that not-so-secret ’secret” has been out for a while ’round these parts; but Palmer can authenticate it anytime!

Unless Coles gets hurt, Miss Henry gets re-arrested, or Caldwell breaks his leg - missing Chud wouldn’t be a problem. For the last 3+ years here, Housh’mon’Zah’duh was the better WR anyway…Why would anyone suspect a guy that actually LIKES the game of football (and not queer sideline antics), like Coles wouldn’t do better without some 3rd grade level clown act on the field?

Chud and a few diehard Chud fans might still be under the impression that Chud’s a threat, but defenses ’round the NFL know this is FAR from the truth. They’ll say all the right things in the media, and on the bone-head “flUFf” NFL promo shows, but anyone without blind-love faith in this Ocho-Clown-o has already seen through his stupid side-show.

…and,…Palmer pretty much said that in the interview. Spending far more time discussing the pending USC/tOSu game this Fall. Which, I admit, is SCORES more intersting than any continued LAME-ass Chud Ocho-braindead-o talk.

Oh, and Chud’s “new” commercial for ESPN?….R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D!….when was the last time he “shredded” a Pittsburgh defense for 2 scores, or just BLOCKED for some one?….this guy is hopped up on space-balls or something!

…..who else, “Chud Ocho STFU-po”!…surprised?

You shouldn’t be, but something tells me most Bungle fans will be anyway!…The “wr” more known for his side-show antics, than any REAL contribution to helping his team WIN, has another snag in his on-going war to CHEESE’ily promote himself.

Last year, Chud Johnson became Ocho Cinco,..because, primarily, he knew his production was going down, and felt deferring attention away from the fact the Bungles can’t win WITH him is important.( and cause his stats are exclusively fed through 3-4 games a year, and not based on doing what it TAKES, like other “wr”’s from teams that DO, to win…..Blocking, running the right routes, being a team first guy, and NOT being a cancer….among others) Certainly he’d need another “act”, right? Since the Bungles sUFfer from his prima-donna “ME FIRST, SECOND and THIRD” attitude, he figures he’ll create some interest (for himself) with a meaningless name change……The only thing was, Cinco-stupid forgot about the licensing agreement the NFL has with the jersey makers…OK,..that was LAST year’s side-show-act….THIS year Cap’n stupid applied to have the name changed on his jersey, so he can resume merchandising his whore self. Again, because this idea (to him) seems better than working on his game any! -and, because he knows stupid Bungles fans will keep sucking him up. The problem THIS year?…Well, same as last year  (Oh Britney Spears, what do you have for us?)…”Ooopps, I did it again!” -….Chud and his agent allowed CHUD to submit the paperwork!  DOING!…..no kidding, Ocho-chump’o screwed the pooch again!   (READ THIS).

Sure, its a small difference, but how truley fitting that this ass-clown again gets what he’s due!…..More non-football crap, from the man who was always more sizzle, than steak.!….Steak has to play every game, not just in 4 a year. “Clown act” (aka: Chud), here in the city that accepts losing like we invented it, knows those 4 games a year worth of production keeps his ego well stroked…..and his post-seasons WIDE OPEN,…So, in that time, he can work on more side-show clown acts!….ahhh, the circle of ass’ness!…You know, the real important stUFf about Football!….

Name for NEXT YEAR?….Chud Ocho-Douchebag-o!  ?????

Mike Brown was thumbing through his new book, “How to work you a bonus in a down economy” (FOR DUMMIES) and THERE IT WAS!..it was so simple…Roy Firestone, baby!….Get Roy Fire-??,…oh, that’s Williams!!,…wait, Roy Williams?…no, the other one!..OOOHHH..Roy “horse-collar” Williams! yeah -HE’S a BENGAL now!!…and Mr NRA and DT “Tank the Tank” (Ok, so I’m not real good with nickname!,..sheesh!), another player Dallas released, can help Zim(a) make Roy feel right at home, in the nat’i.

Mikey-B was wondering what to put on the back of Roy’s jersey; Since he has a common name, his number has aready been assigned to another Bungle, and because that’s all the mentally capacity Mikey HAS!…..After much thought (or NONE), and input from Jerry Jones it was decided that “jelly” was the appropriate moniker for Roy! both the name, and the actual substance. This will represent all the times he played as “toast”  for the Cowboys!….

NAH!,..actually, this is still a guy that has something left,…so WHAT if he was LOST without his good pal Zim(mer)a,..and if he has a solid year here in ‘09 he’ll WHORE on off to a better team, for more sick moeny. SO WHAT indeed!… He’s a big name!…-and if I’ve learned ANYthing in this town the last 450 years, its a former good player with a big name is about as good as it gets. No matter the Sport!…God love those Unions! They certainly make it ALL about parody!  (yes, that WAS intentional!) Still, I’m gonna hold out any REAL praise for this “move”, as even WITH him on the team, he isn’t even listed as the starter for his position! Hard to get all gassed up about signing a big name, to be a back-up!….then again, Bungles fans have had to cling to far less than THIS, during the SOP era!….ie: “Shake-n-Blake”!..(yeah, I bought one too!)

ROY WILLIAMS