Quadriplegic dies while skydiving – Shocking!
Posted by TCombs in 
Quadriplegic skydiver’s paralysis likely led to fatal free-fall
KALISPELL – Investigators have ruled that a quadriplegic man who fell to his death Saturday while skydiving near Marion died accidentally as a result of his paralysis, and not due to equipment failure.
Somebody get the investigators from Kalispell, MT on the phone, we gotta get these guys on the OJ killings case and possibly see if they can find out who killed JFK. These dudes are at the top of their game. I can only image the conversation between investigators was like: “So let me get this right – He has no use of his extremities and he didn’t open his parachute, are those the facts?” “Yes.” “Hmmm, was there any sperm on the body?” “No.” “Hmmmm, we have a very strange case on our hands Johnson”.
Listen, I’m all for handicapped people doing things beyond their means. But c’mon, you gotta know when to say when. I’m impressed as hell everytime I see a person with no arms feed themselves. Or a person with no legs running a marathon. But I don’t want to see Timmay jumping from a plane, that shit just isn’t going to end well.