Memo to Ocho Cinco & Ocho Uno…
Posted by TCombs in 
Even though you haven’t stepped on the field yet as teammates, I’m sure you two have been chatting on yahoo and retweeting all of your ideas for dances and shit like that. But let me be the first to say, “Don’t even fucking try it!”. You have no hope of beating this dance. Just try to get through the next few months of football, then you can get back to your careers as talk show hosts and dancing shows. Hell, maybe next year you two can dance together. I have to be honest, when I heard Ocho say today that Terrell was their #1 receiver, the first thing that went through my mind was he’s already T.O.’s bitch.
T.O. Coming to Cincinnati is a Bloggers Dream Come TRUE!
Here’s a little breakdown of the money he gets based on his incentives…
60 receptions: $333,000, 100 receps gets another $333,000. 900 yds= $333,000, 1300 yrds is another $333,000, 10 touchdowns = $333,000 , 14 td’s is another $333,000. So, unless my Mt. Healthy math is wrong $333,000 x 6 = $1.98 million.
That incentive program is a Recipe for DISASTER!
By the way, when Carson was asked how he’s going to keep Ocho & Terrell happy, he responded with…”it’s not my job to keep them happy”….You go boy! Enjoy being the world’s highest paid babysitter this year!
Truth be told, they could be a deadly combination. But T.O. is more emotional than an 18 yr old chick that just had a train ran on her on prom night. I don’t look for this honeymoon to last much longer than the courtship!
"What breaks 7 ribs in Vegas, stays in Vegas"….
…HOSPITAL, that is!…Bob Huggins,…What the HELL, man??? Five days in the hospital -already? I broke two in a pledge/bro football game and the hospital sent me right home!
”Huggins reportedly was packing his things when he tripped and fell, hitting his ribs off of a coffee table and his head of the floor.”…
Does “packing his things” translate into being ass-pounded by some shored sailor, while swinging upside down from a Vietnamese F**K chair? wtf?
Simple math points to some hard to explain questions with Booby’s little story. How does a person, even Bob Huggins for that matter, created enUFf force to break SEVEN ribs on a table in his room? He goes, what, 6 feet and some change?..and your average table is about 2.5 feet from the ground. That makes the man’s ribs about 1.5 feet from the table? And he broke 7 of them falling into a table….while packing his bag? Come ON!
Since no one else seems to be willing to disclose any reality in this “case”, I have taken it upon myself to pose three possible scenario’s as to how Mr Huggins REALLY broke all those ribs, while on a recruiting trip to that notorious hotbed of Basketball talent, VIVA LAS VEGAS!!
Its well know that nearly every kid in Las Vegas grows up dreaming about playing in the coal soot covered mountains, of rainy ass Morgantown West Virginia! Sure, THAT fact we ALL understand pretty unanimously. Huggins has a history of pulling the best players out of that boring ass place, and Morgantown does have a lot to offer those kids. Still, there are holes in the chronicled events of “Rib-gate 2010″. As an aspiring investigative reporter, I have turned to the two avenues of info that ALL the greats have relied on in the past, for formulating “What happened”! Those two reliable streams of fact finding are identified as; speculation, and made up facts!
So, w/o anymore filler, here are the 3 scenario’s as I see them:
#1) Bob set out for his “recruiting trip” to Vegas, alone….and before long, decided to check out the sparse sites the city of Las Vegas has to offer,…..that is, OTHER than its crop of fresh Morgantown headed basketball recruits of course. Following a dinner of sushi and small kittens, Bob heads out to Bruno’s Gay Orgy bar and grill. Once inside, he spies THIS GUY from across the crowded pudding pit. They order a few Cosmo’s and head back to Bob’s room for a little tag-team action. Once inside Bob’s room, Huggy-Bob chickens out,..sending “Bruno” into a rage, and ending with Bob’s frail body being thrown across the room and crashing hard into the writing desk\table…..breaking 4 to 7 ribs and requiring a 6 day hospital stay. Reports have Bruno still at large! All coaches heading the Las Vegas should consider themselves warned!
#2) After a full day of following that infamous and endless trail of promising recruits, Bob finally retires to his modest room at the Hotel 6 to unwind and count up his available scholly’s for next years class…..Capping the night off with a large mason jar of Sweet West Virginy moonshine, Bob begins to pine for the glory days of the 2010 Final Four trip. He soon finds himself sprawled out on the deep shag carpeting face- cuddling his Da’Sean Butler blow-up doll. As “do that to me one more time” plays on the clock radio, Huggy begins to “kick it in to high gear”! This action results in the well used doll tearing its acl, and streaming air from its general knee area! BOB FREAKS!…and makes a bee-line to his luggage in search of his patch kit! Forgetting about the spilled KY lube from earlier in the day, he runs straight thru it and slips! –sending his dopey ass spilling RIGHT into the table of spent Kentucky Fried chicken bones! This results in him breaking 4 ribs……Later, on the way to the hospital the ambulance driver tells Bobby that the doll did not make it, Bob cries so hard he breaks 3 more ribs.
#3) Stone sober, Bob is packing his luggage to leave after a very uneventful recruiting trip to Las Vegas. Noting the budget cuts that are effecting West Virginia University, Bob attempts to fit 4 large towels and comped toiletries into his “weekender” roller bag. He lays the bag on his bed and jumps in the air to use his weight to scrunch down the bag and help close it….however, he miscalculates the landing, and bounces sideways in the direction of the pure mahogany dinner table. Minutes later, still sober, he awakens to find he has broken 4 or 7 ribs…..he calls room service, where they explain that in Las Vegas, broken ribs require a 5-6 day hospital stay.
OK!…there you have it….THE 3 scenario’s…ONE is the REAL story, and the other two are possibly made up!….YOU pick the one I submit to the Daily Planet!
George Teague Knew Exactly what to do with Terrell Owens!
I’ve watched this video 50 times this morning! GEORGE TEAGUE you are in the Mother Fuckin’ Fatguysports.com Hall of Fame for not allowing that shit to go on in YOUR HOUSE! You want to know why Dallas has been coined “America’s Team”? Watch this video over and over and over and over and over! And just when you think you understand, watch it again! Dude that shit is about Pride, Honor, Courage, Respect. I’m not a fan of Dallas, but show me 1 video of Bengals Defense doing that or anything similar to it. Even after Teague blasted Owens, Owens didn’t even go after him, he just went and stood on the star again. But Teague, he dodges a fatass lineman, then goes after his ass. I’ll take a team full of guys like George Teague every day of the week before I’d take guys like Ocho and Terrell-O.
You gotta be ready for football after seeing that!
PS – Wasn’t it nice to see Emmitt Smith Running the ball again?
Today is not the day for Foreigners in the Locker Room!
So I’m driving my boys to daycare this morning. I find myself sitting at a Red Light at 7:30 a.m., behind 2 middle-eastern men in an old Volvo. There are no cars coming in either direction and we are in the “right turn” lane. I’m beepin my horn at these fuckers and they just sit there. I don’t know what the fuck they were doing up there. Maybe they were planning their next mission or some shit. I don’t know and I don’t care. Unless it is clearly marked “No Turn On Red”, then you can turn habib! Next time take a cab to your over priced 7Eleven or “Squooshy Stand”. Either way, just get the hell out of my way. Or next time you’ll be on “Doc Cam”!
PS – did you check out the Driving Video? Those are a violent bunch of desert dwellers aren’t they?
Proof that our Government is Failing!
As if you needed anymore proof, but here it is nonetheless…
Subject: Who voted NO on English as official language & YES to give illegals SS benefits
Don’t forget. November 2 is “Take out the trash day” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The following senators voted against making English the official language of America : (Republicans are in red)
Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (R-NM)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)
Now, the following are the senators who voted to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits. They are grouped by home state. If a state is not listed, there was no voting representative.
Alaska : Stevens (R)
Arizona : McCain (R)
Arkansas : Lincoln (D) Pryor (D)
California : Boxer (D) Feinstein (D)
Colorado : Salazar (D)
Connecticut : Dodd (D) Lieberman (D)
Delaware : Biden (D) Carper (D)
Florida : Martinez (R)
Hawaii : Akaka (D) Inouye (D)
Illinois : Durbin (D) Obama (D)
Indiana: Bayh (D) Lugar (R)
Iowa: Harkin (D)
Kansas: Brownback (R)
Louisiana: Landrieu (D)
Maryland: Mikulski (D) Sarbanes (D)
Massachusetts: Kennedy (D) Kerry (D)
Montana: Baucus (D)
Nebraska: Hagel (R)
Nevada: Reid (D)
New Jersey: Lautenberg (D) Menendez (D)
New Mexico: Bingaman (D)
New York: Clinton (D) Schumer (D)
North Dakota : Dorgan (D)
Ohio : DeWine (R) Voinovich(R)
Oregon : Wyden (D)
Pennsylvania : Specter (D)
Rhode Island : Chafee (R) Reed (D)
South Carolina : Graham (R)
South Dakota : Johnson (D)
Vermont : Jeffords (I) Leahy (D)
Washington : Cantwell (D) Murray (D)
West Virginia : Rockefeller (D), by Not Voting
Wisconsin : Feingold (D) Kohl (D)
THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE UNITED STATES NEEDS TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION…..UNLESS THEY DON’T MIND SHARING THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY WITH FOREIGN WORKERS WHO DIDN’T PAY A DIME INTO IT.
The only people with a right to gripe about what language we speak are the Native Indians. But we stole their lands like candy from a baby many years ago. So they can speak that shit on the reservation if they want, but keep it out of mainstream casino’s.
Next…This is America isn’t it? Why the fuck WOULDN”T English be the official Language? What should it be? Ebonics? Spanish? Fuck it, I vote we change it to something like Jamaican. How interesting would the Bengals conversation be then? “Eh mahn, ja ear bout da Bengals. Dem gohn signed da Krigh Baby. Mike Brown muss hav da bloodclots mahn”.
And to add insult to injury, these crooked politicans want to give Social Security to ILLEGALS! WTF? This is how fucked up our government is. They are having all of these border wars, trying to keep illegals out, yet……They are offering Unemployment benefits, Social Security, Government Aid(s), etc etc to any bastard that can sneak through the back door. It’s like saying, “Stay out, but if you can get here we’ll take care of you”.
How about this…..THEY ARE FUCKING ILLEGAL! DEPORT THIER ASSES! How can you give citizen rights to non-citizens. If you are in this country illegally, then you have NO FUCKING RIGHTS! How fucking hard is it?
Doc for president in 2012!