Automated Phone services can kiss my big fat white ASS!
Posted by TCombs in 
Around 1pm today my internet goes down. I’m right in the middle of watching some amateur chick try to stick this big freaking…..well, nevermind what I was doing. It’s not important. What’s important is what followed. My internet goes down and I call my provider to find out what the deal is. Like don’t they know I”m fucking important. Like I might be writing the next great collection of poetry? For all they know, I’m Edgar Allen Doc! Moving on, I call up the support number and after 5 minutes of run around from an automated phone service I finally get a recording that says I can either hold on for 29-36 minutes, or I can press #1 and hang up and someone will call me back in 29-36 minutes. Dude I was pissed! You know, I’ve written several articles on how much I hate calling up Ali Babbah when I have an issue with my Sprint service, but at least I can take my frustrations out on the foreigners! Give me a live person to yell at. When I start to go off on the foreigners, they don’t know what to say. They just go back to their rebutle list and say shit like “Sir, I understand”, “Thank you sir, I’d be more than happy to help you with that”. And I’m like, “No Bitch, you don’t understand. If you understood you wouldn’t be sitting here telling me how much you understand. You would ride your camel over to your bosses pyramid and figure out what the fuck is up with these extra charges on my cell phone!”. Automated phone services are for companies with people incapable of putting down the jelly doughnut and answering the phone!
PS – ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM is on my shit list now!
Locker Room Hottie – Stacey
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Meet Ms. Stacey! Representing the NKY area. Stacey is on the FGS BIkini Calendar Team and will be in our Calendar that is coming out very soon!
As usual, all of our Locker Room Hotties are local hot chicks. You can even see Stacey tomorrow night at Rumpke park. Stacey and 3 other hotties on the FGS BIkini Calendar Team will be helping out with the “Legends of the Game” game.
You drool here, or you can drool in person tomorrow night. Either way….get your drool on!
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Lindsey's lost those Golden Locks
Everybody knows this little bitch is in jail and nobody really cares. At least I don’t. But does the fact that she’s done a little time now add to her bad girl complex? If you ask me, it makes her a little bit hotter now. Like before, I would’ve just nailed the bitch. But now, it’s like I want to get her in a sexy little prisoner outfit, handcuff her to the bed and make her my prison bitch. Before the shit even starts, don’t give me crap about how you wouldn’t do this broad with your best friends cock. I don’t want to hear it. You’re only saying it because your wife/warden is sitting next to you while you read this.
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Long Haul Bombers Tonight at G.A.B.P.
Not only is tonight the Official Opening Night of the Metro, but you can see the Long Haul Bombers tonight at Great America Ball Park. They will be hitting before and after the reds game.
These dudes can put on a show. You have to watch the last 5 minutes of this video. These dudes are hitting it on top of the Western Metal Supply building. This shit is off the hook! It’s crazy! Check ‘em out!
Doc and Furman have a little Pow-Wow to Kick off the Cincinnati Metro at Rumpke Park
Last night was the kickoff of the 2010 Cincinnati Metro Tournament. Starting things off was Andy Furman, broadcasting live from Rumpke Park. He talked to a few of the old timers, the all-star captains, and a few other people. But more importantly, Doc and Furman got to have a little pow-wow. It was a good time. Everything went smoothly and I handled that shit like a seasoned vet. The production crew was awesome and we had great talks after the show. More to come soon!
The atmosphere last night at Rumpke is what you would expect on the first night. Lots of people, everyone was excited to get the Metro started, hot chicks were everywhere, and the beer was cold.
Come out tonight and watch the Fatguysports.com Softball team take on the “Rookies” at 7pm.
If you want to see my old ass play, then you can check us out tomorrow night at 8:10. I’m playing with a bunch of Old Timers, we’re going to take these young kids to school!
Both games mentioned above are at Rumpke.
See you there bitches!
Linda Hogan on Safari with Boy Toy!
So Hulk Hogan, how do you like them apples? Not only is your ex-wife living in your 20,000 sq ft house, but she’s been banging some dude that can’t even drink yet, legally anyway. Rumor has it, they’re engaged! Damn, that’s gotta suck. He’s going to be sitting at your old house, with your old ex-wife, helping her make decisions about your kids. Which by the way, he’s a year younger than brooke. That’s gotta suck! Plus, you know the guy isn’t too bright. Why the fuck would you marry your “cougar”? You don’t marry the chick you’re just banging. Especially when you’re not even 21 yet and in a few years those implants will be at her knees. Just look at the clothes she’s wearing. She’s already turning into that old lady that wears crazy shit to walmart. She looks like she should be on Safari, or getting more Cheetah piss injected into her lips. Good thing is, you probably won’t need to pick up any tampons for her. But the downside is that she’ll need diapers within the next couple years. Enjoy Hulk’s leftovers surfer dude!
Reader E-mail: Doc, are you moving?
From:upinya
To:
doc@fatguysports.com
Hey Doc, your blog sucks! I heard you were moving out of state, or at least I was hoping you were!Take care dumbass!
Now, show a little respect boy! Don’t talk to your daddy that way!
Memo to Ocho Cinco & Ocho Uno…
Even though you haven’t stepped on the field yet as teammates, I’m sure you two have been chatting on yahoo and retweeting all of your ideas for dances and shit like that. But let me be the first to say, “Don’t even fucking try it!”. You have no hope of beating this dance. Just try to get through the next few months of football, then you can get back to your careers as talk show hosts and dancing shows. Hell, maybe next year you two can dance together. I have to be honest, when I heard Ocho say today that Terrell was their #1 receiver, the first thing that went through my mind was he’s already T.O.’s bitch.
T.O. Coming to Cincinnati is a Bloggers Dream Come TRUE!
Here’s a little breakdown of the money he gets based on his incentives…
60 receptions: $333,000, 100 receps gets another $333,000. 900 yds= $333,000, 1300 yrds is another $333,000, 10 touchdowns = $333,000 , 14 td’s is another $333,000. So, unless my Mt. Healthy math is wrong $333,000 x 6 = $1.98 million.
That incentive program is a Recipe for DISASTER!
By the way, when Carson was asked how he’s going to keep Ocho & Terrell happy, he responded with…”it’s not my job to keep them happy”….You go boy! Enjoy being the world’s highest paid babysitter this year!
Truth be told, they could be a deadly combination. But T.O. is more emotional than an 18 yr old chick that just had a train ran on her on prom night. I don’t look for this honeymoon to last much longer than the courtship!
"What breaks 7 ribs in Vegas, stays in Vegas"….
…HOSPITAL, that is!…Bob Huggins,…What the HELL, man??? Five days in the hospital -already? I broke two in a pledge/bro football game and the hospital sent me right home!
”Huggins reportedly was packing his things when he tripped and fell, hitting his ribs off of a coffee table and his head of the floor.”…
Does “packing his things” translate into being ass-pounded by some shored sailor, while swinging upside down from a Vietnamese F**K chair? wtf?
Simple math points to some hard to explain questions with Booby’s little story. How does a person, even Bob Huggins for that matter, created enUFf force to break SEVEN ribs on a table in his room? He goes, what, 6 feet and some change?..and your average table is about 2.5 feet from the ground. That makes the man’s ribs about 1.5 feet from the table? And he broke 7 of them falling into a table….while packing his bag? Come ON!
Since no one else seems to be willing to disclose any reality in this “case”, I have taken it upon myself to pose three possible scenario’s as to how Mr Huggins REALLY broke all those ribs, while on a recruiting trip to that notorious hotbed of Basketball talent, VIVA LAS VEGAS!!
Its well know that nearly every kid in Las Vegas grows up dreaming about playing in the coal soot covered mountains, of rainy ass Morgantown West Virginia! Sure, THAT fact we ALL understand pretty unanimously. Huggins has a history of pulling the best players out of that boring ass place, and Morgantown does have a lot to offer those kids. Still, there are holes in the chronicled events of “Rib-gate 2010″. As an aspiring investigative reporter, I have turned to the two avenues of info that ALL the greats have relied on in the past, for formulating “What happened”! Those two reliable streams of fact finding are identified as; speculation, and made up facts!
So, w/o anymore filler, here are the 3 scenario’s as I see them:
#1) Bob set out for his “recruiting trip” to Vegas, alone….and before long, decided to check out the sparse sites the city of Las Vegas has to offer,…..that is, OTHER than its crop of fresh Morgantown headed basketball recruits of course. Following a dinner of sushi and small kittens, Bob heads out to Bruno’s Gay Orgy bar and grill. Once inside, he spies THIS GUY from across the crowded pudding pit. They order a few Cosmo’s and head back to Bob’s room for a little tag-team action. Once inside Bob’s room, Huggy-Bob chickens out,..sending “Bruno” into a rage, and ending with Bob’s frail body being thrown across the room and crashing hard into the writing desk\table…..breaking 4 to 7 ribs and requiring a 6 day hospital stay. Reports have Bruno still at large! All coaches heading the Las Vegas should consider themselves warned!
#2) After a full day of following that infamous and endless trail of promising recruits, Bob finally retires to his modest room at the Hotel 6 to unwind and count up his available scholly’s for next years class…..Capping the night off with a large mason jar of Sweet West Virginy moonshine, Bob begins to pine for the glory days of the 2010 Final Four trip. He soon finds himself sprawled out on the deep shag carpeting face- cuddling his Da’Sean Butler blow-up doll. As “do that to me one more time” plays on the clock radio, Huggy begins to “kick it in to high gear”! This action results in the well used doll tearing its acl, and streaming air from its general knee area! BOB FREAKS!…and makes a bee-line to his luggage in search of his patch kit! Forgetting about the spilled KY lube from earlier in the day, he runs straight thru it and slips! –sending his dopey ass spilling RIGHT into the table of spent Kentucky Fried chicken bones! This results in him breaking 4 ribs……Later, on the way to the hospital the ambulance driver tells Bobby that the doll did not make it, Bob cries so hard he breaks 3 more ribs.
#3) Stone sober, Bob is packing his luggage to leave after a very uneventful recruiting trip to Las Vegas. Noting the budget cuts that are effecting West Virginia University, Bob attempts to fit 4 large towels and comped toiletries into his “weekender” roller bag. He lays the bag on his bed and jumps in the air to use his weight to scrunch down the bag and help close it….however, he miscalculates the landing, and bounces sideways in the direction of the pure mahogany dinner table. Minutes later, still sober, he awakens to find he has broken 4 or 7 ribs…..he calls room service, where they explain that in Las Vegas, broken ribs require a 5-6 day hospital stay.
OK!…there you have it….THE 3 scenario’s…ONE is the REAL story, and the other two are possibly made up!….YOU pick the one I submit to the Daily Planet!