Mo Egger at Kolping?
Posted by TCombs in 
Is that what it felt like? Like you just got ran over by Ricky Williams? Mo admits his team sucks, that they’re horrible, and they’re there just to drink and have fun. If that’s the case, then why all the crying? And yes, it’s crying. You can paint a horse many colors, but it’s still a horse. Playing E League softball is like getting a blowjob from a fat chick, it’s fun to do every once in awhile, but you don’t want your friends to know about it.
This all stems from Mo Egger of Homer247.com blogging (crying) about a Team they played at Kolping in an “E” league game. Apparently the “E” league team they played takes it a little more seriously than Mo’s team. You can read his blog, but take tissues with you. Then someone decided to copy and paste his “Terms of Endearment” moment in the Mecca of softball forums, also known as CINCYSOFTBALL.com….all praise be to Allah Larks.
Look, I like Mo’s sports show and I like how he tells it like it is sometimes. But sometimes I’m just waiting for him to cue the New Orleans Funural jazz music and start singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”. Dude, it’s not even softball. “E” League softball is for guys with too much pride to play Co-ed and not enough skills to play “D” League (which is the true Drinking league). Just grab your glove, your bat, and STFU. You already know when you go out there that you’re probably going to get run-ruled. So what does it matter if the other team had uniforms and a manager? I don’t know who the other team was, so I’m not defending them. I’m just saying, take the ass whoopin like a man. Would it matter if they grabbed 3 guys from the stands wearing wife beaters, dirty jeans and work boots? So what if they said, “Take of the firstbasemans head”….did they do it? Didn’t your firstbaseman have a glove? Hell, in “E” ball, you have to have your best guy at firstbase. That way when one of the convicts playing shorstop actually makes a play, there is someone that can catch it.
And just to keep it real, who really gives a fuck about any of this anyway?!?!?! It’s “E” ball. And this shit has sent the Cincysoftball.com forums into a frenzy. Not really sure why! Most of you guys have played for years, some are lifetime “E” players, so you know how this works. It’s like crying because you got beat up by a girl that’s bigger than you. If a girl whooped your ass, would you tell anyone???? So why is anyone crying about getting beat in “E” League softball? When I used to play ball all the time, I knew some guys that played in the “E”. Every now and then they needed someone to fill in, so I would go help out. But I was so ashamed that I would tell my “Head” nurse at the time that I was going to the driving range, then stop at Speedway and run in the bathroom and change into something nobody would recognize me in, like a Superman phone booth.
So, in short…Quit crying, drink your beer, and try not to get your head taken off.
We should put together a “Mo’s Schmoes” vs. “Doc’s Bunnies” game. Because I’m sure I can find 9 or 10 female players that could whoop his “E” team, just to prove it doesn’t matter what the other team is wearing.
Caption……
(sniffle sniffle) I ju ju just wa wa wanted to puh puh play su su sum softball, huwahhhhhhh.
I need my binkie.
PS – Still love the show Mo!
Let me know if you’re interested in that softball game 
Locker Room Hottie – Chelsea
Representing the Nati – 21 yr old Chelsea is closing out another solid week in the Locker Room!
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Deja Vu for Steve Jobs
Man who found — and sold — the missing iPhone unmasked
Wouldn’t you hate to be Brian J Hogan right now? Dude, you’re like 30yrs too late on this scheme. Jobs was already royally fucked once, you didn’t think he was going to let it happen again did you? Just consider all of your online accounts, your credit report, and everything you do for the rest of your life – HACKED! Poetic or not, you know Jobs is going to impose his own form of justice this time. He can’t touch Gates, but Hogan will be like shooting fish in a barrell. Good Luck Brian! You should’ve taken the phone to Gates. He probably would’ve paid you 5,000,000 for it just to fuck with Jobs again.
NASA is at it again!
NASA – Not A Serious Agency….
I think these cats just like to blow shit up. How else can you explain every epic failure that is the institution called NASA? I mean, it’s not Rocket Science, is it? It’s supposed to be, but everything they do is like an episode of Myth Busters. Afterall, these are the same geniuses that “Taped Over” the original video recordings of the alleged landing on the moon. Which by the way, how the fuck does that happen? “Dude, Seinfeld’s coming on but I’ve got to go to my Majors/”E” Rec League softball game. Just hand me that tape labeled ‘Most important recording in the history of mankind’, nobody will miss it.” And now, if you’re an Astronaut, aren’t you a little worried that they couldn’t even get a helium balloon of the ground? Note to NASA: We weren’t impressed when Hindenburg’s Balloon went down and we’re not impressed with yours either!
Leave it to the bloody Aussies Media to refer to millions of dollars of equpment as ”expensive scientific instruments”. No anchorman Mick Dundee, supporting my non-therapeutic massage habit is expensive! The amount of money NASA spent was preposterous and wasteful. Also, we don’t need your media to make up reasons like ”Unexpected Storm Winds” to excuse our american incompetency. I wish Bush was still in office, because he would put your little Kangaroo country on the axis of evil list for that shit!
OSU AXE Undie Run
Ohio State University, AXE, Undies, Hotties……..Umm, Yeah, we need to be involved! First of all, we need to be involved simply for the pure love of everything Buckeye! But then you add in Hotties and Undies and that’s a match made in Locker Room Heaven!
Somebody’s got to have a connection that can get us in. e-mail me - doc@fatguysports.com
The HOUSE that "SPANK" built!
YES!….FIND IT HERE!…Amazing huh? Yeah, and if you’ve ever seen her “work”, well, she certainly earns it, right? I mean, more so than some LH middle relief pitchers in MLB anyway!…or some 2nd string QB’s in the NFL!…This woman was on top (literally at times) of her game!
AND YOU!,..helped get her GET there!….$45.00 for a “box” seat at the Reds game w/12,000 close friends?…or $29.99 for an actual “box”, and a quiet table for one??….YOU DECIDE SPANKY!!!!! Of course, women liked Jenna too, and well, she sure “acted” like she liked THEM (most times) as well!, eh? –Almost as much as she enjoys oxycotins!…Ok, maybe not THAT much!
This isn’t a call to all you woman out there to go run out and ”hop on” to the porn movie game, by any means. No, I’ve seen a lot of you in clothes, and I believe naked isn’t your bag! Instead, have MORE regular (and UFreaky) sex w/your man; THEN, hope some of the money he saves by not funding a FUTURE Jenna mansion, he saves and buys YOU some FatGuySports.com WEAR!?!?! VIOLA!…See, I had a plan for this “piece” all along!
Locker Room Hottie – Melanie
Coming to you by way of NKY. Check out Melanie!
Do you know a “Locker Room Hottie”, if so, e-mail doc@fatguysports.com or join us on FB and send us a message there.
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Mixing up the Medicine
CAPTION CONTEST ends Thursday night at 11pm. Make sure you get your entry in for your chance to win a $20 Gift Card to SCOREBOARD BAR. New Caption Contests start every Monday. Winners are announced on Fridays.
Now, Have you ever heard a song and felt like the writer wrote this song just for you. Well yeah, this is one of those songs.
I been in the lab like a chemist just developing
My potion now its potent time to hit em in the head again
Knock knock pow pow, Santana let him in
I got what u need bitch, tell a friend to tell a friend
Label me a hit, if a fiend need a fix or a bytch just need some good dick
I got the (medicine) – Juelz Santana
Lights, Camera, Action – I’m feeling Fantastic! Look, they don’t call me “Doc” because I spent 15yrs working on medical degrees. I’m Doc because I got the Medicine baby. You want funny shit – got it! You want hot chicks – got it! You want someone to tell it like it is – done it! You want all the Locker Room Hotties to show up in Calendars – developing it! FGS exclusive videos with hot chicks, funny takes, parodies – directing it! FatGuySports online store – Building it! Most people just talk about what they want to do, but here in the locker room, we make it happen. We have many more projects in the hopper, but I can’t give you all the good stuff just yet. But is there any question that shit is going to be off the hook?!?!? Hell no!
Either you’re down with the Locker Room or you’re not. If you’re not, you’re probably inbred and only find your sister attractive. For everyone else, say it loud and say it proud baby. Don’t let the chains of society make you feel guilty for your love of Fatguysports.com! The conservative nature of Cincinnati labels us as bad. But as you know, it’s only labeled bad because it feels so good 
ThatGirl uncovers Fast Food Conspiracy
I wonder if Fast Food Restaurants are all sitting back and watching America get fat…..and laughing. They make these absolutely ridiculous concoctions of SHIT, put them on the menu…sit back in their little offices and watch people order them. I wonder if they have everyone on video surveillance….perhaps doing longterm studies on these people. They get them at their starting weight..and year after year they watch them grow into enormous beasts demanding their McRibs and their Double Down Chicken. And then…they play this NASTY little trick on everyone. They make it for a limited time only. So, they create a frenzy. The MCRIB IS BACK but for a short time only. And they know their shit is disgusting..but it’s a GAME to them. They are LAUGHING in their offices watching all the people they have brainwashed over they years come back for more.
You’ve got Micky D’s on one side with the McRib and then across the street, KFC came up with something MORE disgusting! The Double Down Chicken! NO BREAD! Who needs bread right? Just slap your dirty hands around two big fat greasy steaming breasts of FRIED chicken! SCREW THE BREAD! MORE CHICKEN..MORE GREASE! EAT IT UP! After all, it fits into the Atkin’s Diet right? No Bread, No Carbs…just two HUGE STEAMING PILES OF SHIT….WAIT…add SOME BACON! And not ONE slice of Cheese…how about 2 slices of cheese…this is good for you America..it is! It fits right into the Atkin’s diet! LOW CARB!!!!! Buy into it, just do it!!!!!
Gold Star Chili, Cincinnatian’s are lucky! We can get the Gold Star Chili Burger!!!!!! A quarter pound burger topped with Chili and loaded with Cheese! This is GOOD FOR YOU!
But don’t worry….every Fast Food Restaurant offers a healthy alternative of lettuce for those of you who are watching your weight. 
(I actually know of a place that serves Gravy Cheese fries, but I honestly can’t even bring myself to search for a picture…it was hard enough for me to even snag these. In fact, this whole article is making me feel queezy as it is…..).
Why is there Obesity in America? Because they are all LAUGHING at us. It’s a conspiracy….by Fast Food Managers all over the World. Jerks.
Bango – Mascot Dunk is off the hook!
20′ ladder, 10′ above the room, wearing a 20lb Marty Moose costume, backflipping to a nothing but nuts in your face dunk?!?!?! Yeah, that’s what I call off the hook! Not to mention the bowling balls in his pants, because lets face it, jumping off a 20′ ladder completely sober just doesn’t sound like a good idea. Iwonder if that earns him any WNBA mascot tail?