UCats to be offensive again?…
Posted by UFreak in 
Well, last year they were suppose to struggle!…Instead, they blew away the league competition and earned their beloved (and somewhat Fat-Guy) Coach a FATASS gig with the Gold Domers in South Bend! (Yeah!,..BOOO!) In short, they were fantastic on the offensive side of the ball. Defensively?…well, they were Big(L)East good, but against that often hated and disputed SEC speed?…Not so good!
BUT HEY!…The offense is entertaining, right?….and it should be once again; at least potentially! Led by (you’d think at this point anyway) Zach Collaros who was brilliant in support of Tony Pike at QB, and what could be just a SICK stable of wr’s. This team SHOULD explode for points! Collaros brings the TEBOW-element to the ‘Cats offense, an “option” not found there last year. He will mix that in with a HEAVILY talented “wr” corp led by (you’d hope) Vidal Hazelton(5*) and Kenbrell Thompkins(4*). Two wr’s who flirted with the idea of becoming Gators (among others) during their recruiting process. Hazelton was Scout’s #3 rated (overall) player, and rivals’ #7 back in 2006. Yes, that magical year produced some incredible talent; Tim Tebow (#21/#22) and “Oh Mercy”!…”it’s Percy!” (#13/#1) who went on to become the NFL Rookie of the Year and a Pro Bowler!..The 2006 class also included; Andre Smith, Bean’er Wells, Gerald McCoy, Sergio Kindle, Matt Stafford, CJ Spiller, Myron Rolle, Brandon Spikes, Taylor Mays, Micah Johnson (UK), and Knowshon Moreno, among others! What a great freakin’ class! Vidal was right there in the middle of it, in fact he was the center-piece of the USC class that year! HE was THEIR Percy Harvin!….only,..well…you know.
Mr Hazelton was a gifted athlete who did it all. He BLOCKED (so he’s not a Chud DUD), he ran great routes and he had great hands. His only concern was a slight dip in top end speed…..Enter Kenbrell Thompkins! This kid will cover the speed part of the equation pretty well. 4.4 speed, great size (6’3″) and he too was coveted by ALL the big boys a couple years ago. Before UC recently landed him, LoSerU was all over his jock! Grades derailed his initial attempt at DIV I, but he’s done his JUCO time and is IN CLASS now at UC (and participating in Spring Work). Now, toss in the returning WR’s who were running along side Mardy Gilyard last year, (DJ Woods and Armon Binns) and WOW!, you see MANY-MANY TD’s in their future! –RB Isaiah Pead, and TE’s Travis Kelce and Ben-Ben Guidugli will round out the “skill” postion pretty nicely! The O-Line (as it is with most teams) will need to hold up their end, but they were mostly no-names last year too!
Sure, it was a beat down in the Sugar Bowl, but every team has taken at least one of those on the way to the top. Hey, those same Gators got “FRAZIER’ED” in the 1995 Natty Title game before they rebounded and won it all the following year! (Tommie Frazier, Lawrence Phillips AND Ahman Green in the same backfield?…) Maybe that’s a little ambitious considering the ‘Cats blow on defense, but hey,…we’ve seen good things happen here before, right?!!??! -AND!,…AND, UC doesn’t have Mikey Brown in charge!…heh?…heh??….yes, 2010 will be a FINE year (again) for the UCats!
Does this look like the face of a woman that would strip for kids?
From WXii12.com – CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, S.C. — Investigators in South Carolina said that a woman was running a strip club for underage boys out of her mobile home that was complete with a stripper’s pole and lap dances. The Chesterfield County Sheriff’s Office said 27-year-old Gwendolyn Lowery stripped and danced using the pole in the middle of her living room. Investigators said Lowery’s customers ranged from 12- to 19-years-old. Deputies said they found alcohol and a price list for various services including lap dances for $5. The sheriff’s office said when deputies went into the home, there were several boys sitting around the pole.
Ahhh, what I wouldn’t give to be a kid again. You got field trips, recess, study hall, and ….oh yeah, Ms. Lowery’s after school special. You gotta wonder what tipped them off. Did kids stop buying lunch at school? Did little Billy go home and tell his mom that due to the economy school lunches were now $25 a day? I need to see that list of services too. Because you know if lapdances were only $5, she had to be charging $8 per Capri Sun with a 2 drink minimum. Otherwise that’s just bad business. Everybody knows you just can’t run an establishment like that, I don’t care if it is a doublewide trailor. Besides, you know this chick has a good head on her shoulders, after all, her mobile home was “complete with a stripper’s pole”. So you know she wasn’t charging .25 cents for cups of kool-aid. I just hope they get this worked out soon. Because you know the kid that was next in line when the cops busted in, is pissed off!
Tiger Will Win The Masters…
….Because a True Playa, is always on top of his game!
There’s a pretty good article HERE if you want to read it. But since you’d rather hear what I have to say, let me continue…..
A broken, beaten, and battered Tiger Woods will be ready to get back to his old self in Augusta. It’ll be a chance for him to get away from his crazy, violent, psycho wife. Lets be fair here, there’s never a good reason to hit your spouse (male or female), right? Now he can get back to his true love, his true passion which is taking out his driver and putting that little white ball in the hole, in as few strokes as possible (all kinds of pun intended). Unofficial, unconfirmed, and even unreported reports this week say that Tiger is focused more than ever. All he cares about is winning the Masters. Personally, I hope he wins it. I’m not going to condemn the man for being a man. Now that we know what a psycho he was dealing with, can anyone really blame him for his infidelities? We don’t know what his home life was like. Just because he’s a billionaire and she’s a drop dead gorgeous lingerie model, that doesn’t mean she’s not at home like, “Tiger, did you take out the trash?” “Tiger, did you pick up your socks?” “Tiger, when you and your little friends finish playin’ that golf game, I need you to unload the dishwasher?”. Not saying I approve of his behavior. I’m just saying, I can relate. I understand where the man is coming from. I mean, how many times can you walk in the door and say “Hey Honey, I just deposited another $15million in the bank and got that $250 million Nike contract extended”, only to hear the normal bitching and complaining as if you just finished working the night shift at McDonalds? Men don’t cheat because they’re not attracted to you, because they don’t love you, or because some other girl does it better. They cheat because they can fuck her and not have to listen to all the bitching. Again, I don’t approve of what he did, I’m just saying…I can relate.
Good Luck Tiger, Doc is pulling for you baby!
Vote 1 if you think tiger should be condemned, Vote 10 if you hope he wins The Masters.
[starrater tpl=10 style='crystal']
Living la vida…Gay?
- From Metro.co.uk - In a message posted in both Spanish and English on his official website, the Livin’ La Vida Loca singer wrote: ‘I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.’
I’m not here to gay-bash. Doc doesn’t rock like that. Everybody is entitled to their own vices, lord knows I have mine! If Ricky want to suck a dick, then I say be the best cocksucker you can be Ricky! Not that I approve of it, but it doesn’t affect me. So why the hell would I care. If he’d rather play with balls than breasts, that’s on him. Hell, I wish there were more gay men, just means more ladies for me. The biggest problem I have with all of this is, who the fuck didn’t see this comin’ (pun intended)? The bigger story here would’ve been that he’s straight. And why do people have to answer questions about their sexual preferences anyway? The only time you share that information is with a potential participant, not a reporter! If a reporter asks me if I like to videotape my girl making out with another girl, that’s none of their fucking business. I’m denying that shit all day long. They’ll just have to wait for the tapes to show up at TMZ. But like Ricky Martin, when the truth surfaces, is anyone going to be surprised? 
SPRING is in the ground
THIS ARTICLE WAS RECIEVED VIA EMAIL: seemed to have a little comedic value, so:
Spring is in the air! If there’s one thing Spring is synonymous with, it’s baseball. However, most men my age have long since given up on their boyhood dreams of playing professional baseball. Lack of athletic ability, combined with unwillingness to work hard has put an end to that dream. Instead, men (me included) have decided to live out their dying boyhood fantasies by playing slow-pitch softball.
As someone who has been playing for about seven years now, I have learned a lot and I am ready to pass on my knowledge to you. With leagues beginning to start up, it’s important that all men follow these important rules. These are 10 commandments that all men who play softball must abide by.
10. Thou Shall not Argue with the Umpire
If you argue with the umpire for more than two consecutive seconds you should be banned from all softball leagues across the country. Most softball umpires are 60 year-old men who are just trying to get away from their wives and make a few extra bucks. These guys aren’t professionals and neither are you, so don’t make an ass out of yourself by getting into a screaming match with the ump.
9. Thou Shall not Wear Baseball Pants to Play Softball
The only acceptable attire for a softball game is sweatpants or shorts. Wearing baseball pants is one of many signs you take softball too seriously. You’re not on your high school travel team anymore. There’s no need to wear baseball pants. Wear shorts and a knee pad if you’re worried about cutting your knees up.
8. Thou Shall not Play More than Twice a Week
I love playing softball but I will not play more than twice in a given week and neither should you. If you’re playing softball, you’re probably in your 30′s and 40′s and therefore have lots of responsibilities (job, wife, kids etc). Don’t neglect those responsibilities because you’re playing a 162- game schedule.
7. Thou Shall not Wear Batting Gloves to Play Softball
Anyone who plays baseball knows you wear batting gloves for two reasons: The first is to keep your hands from getting blisters and the second is to reduce the sting in your hands after getting jammed. Neither applies when playing softball.
You don’t need to worry about getting blisters. It’s not like you’re going to be taking a 100 cuts off the tee and three rounds of batting practice in the cage before the game. You’re going to stroll your fat ass to the plate, take four hacks a game and then sit your ass back on the bench.
You also don’t need to worry about getting jammed because…it’s FUCKING SOFTBALL. If you can’t get around on a pitch playing softball than you shouldn’t be playing—and even if you did get jammed, it won’t hurt. So stop being such a pussy and take the batting gloves off.
6. Thou Shall Avoid Pitching if Possible
I’ve been playing softball for a while now and I’m pretty amazed that I haven’t seen someone DIE. An out of shape, aging pitcher stands from 45 feet away and lobs the ball to a large man who is swinging an aluminum club as hard as he can. I’ve seen batted balls nearly take a pitcher’s head off. I myself once broke a guy’s nose on a hard ground ball…to THIRD BASE! So imagine the danger the pitcher faces. If you can avoid pitching, do so. Let someone else get killed.
5. The Worst Player on the Team Shall Play Catcher
If you just joined the team and the coach asks you to play catcher, then I’ve got some bad new for you—you’re the worst player on the team. The catcher is essentially useless in slow-pitch softball. Runners can’t steal and they can’t advance on wild pitches or passed balls. The only time the catcher does anything is on a play at the plate. I can say first-hand this can be frustrating from an outfielder’s perspective. There’s nothing more annoying than throwing a perfect strike from the outfield to nail a runner at home, only to see the catcher make a futile attempt to catch the ball.
4. Thou Shall not Play with Clinchers
For those of you that don’t know, clinchers are softballs designed to reduce the speed of the ball off the bat. They are used in senior citizen leagues so old people don’t get killed by rocket line drives. These balls SUCK. There’s nothing more frustrating than hitting the crap out of the ball only to see it die in the shallow outfield. If you’re under 50 years old, you have no excuse for using this ball.
3. Love Thy Teammate
This should really apply to sports at all levels, but especially with softball. Any softball team is likely to have a wide range of skilled players on the team. Don’t be overly critically of a player if he boots a ball or pops up with the bases loaded. Yelling at another player on your own team is likely to get you punched in the face. Just remember that it’s SOFTBALL, this isn’t the World Series. No one will care about the outcome five minutes after the completion of the game. So don’t be a dick. Just keep the comments to yourself.
2. Honor Thy Commitment to Softball
I keep saying that its softball and you shouldn’t take it too seriously. On the other hand, it’s important to stay committed to the team. Your team is there to have fun but they also want to win. Ditching your team because you got too drunk last night is NOT COOL. I didn’t wake up at 8:00 am on a Sunday only to find out the game is cancelled because we didn’t have enough people show up. If you’re hung over, TOO BAD—Suck it up. There’s a good chance half the people playing are hung over also, so it should make for an even playing field.
1. Thou Shall Not Take Softball so Seriously
I know I have reiterated this point to death but it’s FUCKING SOFTBALL. Do not take it so seriously! This is the GOLDEN RULE of softball and it sums up all the other commandments. You are NOT allowed to throw gloves, kick bats, use profanity, yell at umps and teammates or start brawls. This isn’t your high school division championship game or a college tryout. There are no scouts or parents in the stands. There is no media and no statistics. This is an OLD MAN SOFTBALL LEAGUE. You’re here to have fun! Just keep that in mind the next time you boot a ground ball.
Caption this
“Dude, Why did you make us wear these stupid bandana’s, everyone is looking at us.”
“Is that a fucking Geico sign?
Lesson
So I get this video sent to me. And I’m sitting here watching it and it’s one of those “wait for it………..wait for it………wait for it…..BOOM there it is!” kind of things. Totally worth the :45 second wait to get to the punchline! It’s like who hasn’t been there right? You’re at a party or card game or something, when suddenly you here the dumbass know it all say something like, “Dude, if you can beat my full house I’ll lick your balls”, or ”Bro, if that dog puts his nose in my crotch again, I’m sticking my dick in his mouth”. Don’t you wish that dog could understand English. Then put his nose in his crotch again as if to say, “Go ahead mother fucker, I”ll bite it off.” Let this be a lesson to all you dumbass’s. Next time you find yourself saying, “Dude if that’s true then I’ll suck your cock” , you may only do it once, but you’re labeled a cock sucker for life!
I don't know what you heard about me….
“Man, Whoever said progress was a slow process wasn’t talkin’ bout me, I’m a P.I.M.P. Plus, I got the Magicstick” – 50 cent
You can READ THE WHOLE THREAD HERE. But the important parts are below
cardstorm – Anybody know who “The Doc” is? Sure seems to know a lot about KY for being a POS himself. Come out and show the skills man, don’t hide behing your computer, anyone can do that. Until then STFU
DOC - I was hitting BOMB’s and Snappin’ chumps off while you were still in elementary school, trying to figure out how to get your willy wet!
The Doc is a name that came later…but let me help you out.
Most people know me as Tom Combs, or TDawg….The devistatingly handsome, yet fearless Left Handed Third/First baseman.
I played the B and C at eggleston on Thursday nights for a long time. I quit playing a couple years ago to coach my kids baseball team.
However, I’d be more than happy to come out of retirement and dust off the Golden Glove and come out just to snap off a couple of your weak grounders.We can make an event out of it for the fatguysports.com website….
Tell me where you play (has to be at MAB or rumpke), and what league you are in. I’ll find a team in your league that will let me play 1 game with them.
Here’s the rules:
After the game and after I snap off your grounder like a twig in the woods, you have to wear a shirt that says “DOC is my DADDY” for your next game.
If you get lucky and it hits a rock or takes a bad bounce or something, I will write up an article saying what a softball god you are.
We’ll have some of the fatguysports hotties there, take a bunch of pics and have a good time.Are you game? if not, then STFU!
cardstorm – NA I’m good man, just wanted to give you a chance to thump that chest. Only respectable thing you said was coaching your sons baseball team. That is a very respectable thing to do. Really I was just wondering why the Kentucky bashing? I’m from NKY does that make me a hillbilly. You want some more material for your jokes maybe you should head a little farther south. Thanks for the autobiography though, hope no carpel tunnel symptoms are firing up after that. Oh and how did you end your post…. oh yeah STFU? Consider it done, not wasting anymore time with this.
FOCKER OUT!DOC - GAME SET MATCH
Don’t let the devistating good looks and charm fool ya baby. Doc was pimpin before pimpin was cool!
“Betta ask somebody” – Doc, 2010
I am DOC, and I approve this message!
Peace!
I’m out!
PUKE vs HUGGY-chicken…oh CRAP!
I feel for the UKat-nation, and coming from a Gator fan that’s not ALWAYS east to do,…say,..or even get away with! No game can I ever remember, where I wanted them blue-clad ”Johnny Wa11′s” to win, like I did that game against ol FlUFf’n'StUFf huggy-chump and his band of puke-yellow clad Mountain-goats! Gawd that much yellow should never be shown on a High Def TV, EVER!!…And then there’s that Mountain man mascot (now they have a woman vesion too!..YUM!)….few things look THAT stupid!
For the UKat fans its merely a loss,…for ME its lending credibility to the Huggy-jackass I’ve despised for all these many years, primarily for being a fraud! Yeah! that’s certainly worse than sUFfering a disapointing and crushing defeat any day! Top THAT off with the Puke’s win over Baylor, and DAMN! The lone saving grace is ONE of them HAS to lose! The boner though, is neither Michy State or Butler will beat either one! Puke or UWV will win it all. CRAP! PUKE, there’s really no reason to have to explain THAT loathing, right?
Huggins will use this appearance to stick it in UC’s ass, and make it out like he was gonna get that done here. Nothing could be further from the truth! He had plenty of time. Huggy apologists will disagree, but the guy ran himself outta here as much as Nancy did. Great win, but had UK hit any of the “0-for-a billion” 3-pointers (4 for 32 to be more precise), its Calamari and Coach K! Most of those were wide open looks, not some harasing swarming defense! Ah, that’s the breaks, right? Still, it is what it is!- Puke vs Huggy! aaaahhh! IF there’s a Sports Gawd in this universe, he’ll will Izzo to prevail once again!
Ohio State Going Home
With 3:00 left in the game, didn’t shit just feel wrong? Yeah Ohio St. had the lead, but only by a few points. Could you feel it? Could you feel it? I sure as hell could. After they were up by 9, with like 8 min to go, Turner just went cold. Listen, when you’re hot you’re hot, but when you’r not – PASS THE ROCK! There was several times I saw him ‘dancing with the stars’ under the bucket, while Buford and Lighty were wide open. However, Diebler was only 1 of 7 from downtown, so I wouldn’t of passed his ass a box of chocolates much less the ball on this night! Not taking anything away from Tennessee, it was a good game all the way to the end. But Ohio State needed to slow the game down and run some time off, instead they played right into VOL school history by sending them to the Elite 8 for the first time in school history!
And before Michigan fans start running their mouths, where was Michigan prior to the game? Oh yeah…HOME ALREADY!
PS – We teach Michigan hatred early to our young!