I went to the “Home” today with the kids, to take back a furnace filter that was Mis-bought by a member of my family’s purchasing team, who is NOT me!…anyway, whilst I was waiting in line behind 4377 other returnees, I noticed this dude in front of us with toilet bowl cleaner….ONE BOTTLE! I’m thinking, what the HELL is this guy doing in the return items line?…..He’s not REALLY looking to return toilet bowl cleaner, is he?…..Well, uh, yeah he was!
One bottle of toilet bowl cleaner is, what, four bucks?…and maybe some change? Well, he’s returning it and trying to get a cash refund. Only problem, the crack staff at HD have this little angle figured out! Well, to a point anyway. Dude HAD a receipt, but it was a receipt with about 30 items on it. Among them, this toilet bowl cleaner. The lady at the return desk said she’d return the amount to the credit card it was charged against. The dude, who looked like Santa Clause’ goofy brother, flipped out. He wanted cash!…She stood firm, saying the amount had to be returned to the card it was credited against. Then he actually said, “Then credit it back to this card”, and handed her a Visa. She went on to explain what he of course already knew, that the card he was handing her was NOT the card the ONE BOTTLE of toilet bowl cleaner was charged from!..THEN!…HE SAID! “But this is the only card I have!, What other card would I have charged it on?”…I’m laughing, and using this waste of my time as a lesson to the kids…”THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T GET HOOK ON METH, KIDS!”…
The lady persisted, Santa’s brother did too….and this point I was gonna give him the $4.53 he wanted just to get moving, but my interest in this return was too great. She told him again, this is not the card, he replied its his only credit card. She won (if you can declare a winner here, that is…) She’d HAVE to return the amount to the card on the receipt…..or!….OR?…yeah, “OR” he could have a store credit for the amount instead! LEARNING OPP #2. I told my kids,…”See?, this why you want to finish High school, kids”?…Then the HD Lady asks to see his ID, to, you know, complete the transaction…Dude “Cop”-flips open his wallet to show her his Driver’s License, and out pops his ID and at least 10 credit cards as well! I start laughing out loud.
Lets see,….Dude drives to Home Depot,…with, perhaps, toilet bowl cleaner “some one” bought with “some” kind of credit card. Its value?…maybe $4.50! So, either this dude is looking for a “Drive-n-Ride” 40 (ounce’r) and a Slim Jim, or he REALLY doesn’t think he will EVER need toilet Bowl cleaner, EVER again! Really, how do you mis-buy ONE bottle of toilet bowl cleaner?, and if you do, don’t you think, “Well, I’m certainly NOT gonna stop crapping any time soon, so maybe I just keep this here “extra” one, under my sink!”…No, this thrifty Santa wanna-be drives (presumably) back to freakin’ Home Depot, without the proper Credit Card, to return the ONE bottle “he” mis-bought!???? Good GAWD! That or an alternative thought, that he’s cheating a neighbor out of a clean “turlit” to feed one of his many sad addictions!…???
After “Bro-of-Santa” left to spend his $4.50 on a hand full of those cool rectangular pencils with no eraser on ‘em, I had a little chat with “Mamma Return”. Seems “Son-of-Santa” is a regular at the return line, and in her words “of questionable character”! I asked her if she thought he’d just pick something out, get a new receipt and come back to see her latter? She just laughed. I cried. Oh, and my return?..It went just fine…I was also able to get two of the RIGHT sized filters, and get on my way. For kicks, I was gonna stop by the Sip-n-suds right around the corner, to se if old Kris Kringle was there wetting his whistle, but I had to get the kids home so they could finish that homework!
