Look, I understand Tiger’s prick has a mind of its own, and that’s fine!

Posted by UFreak in Random      No comments

Dec
2

What I CAN’T understand, is that sissy-bitch lawyer-esque statement he released today! He should have his nuts revoked, as a penalty! What a puzzy! I’ll never look at the man the same, ever again! look, you had a need, and you purr’sued it. It happens!

Listen, I understand Tiger Woods is a man, and a sickly rich man at that. I also understand that even a smokin’ hawt chick can become boring or, even more depressing, stagnant! AAAAhhhhhhh!  Really, imagine you are fortunate enUFf to hook up with a top Super model, like Elin, and you bag her! YUM! While you are in mid-coitis, you realize,…”Uh, this smokin’ hot bitch just isn’t that good”!..But your brain is fighting your eyes, and your ego, so you submit! Unfortunately, few men can mentally work past that hot-ness to dismiss even the most average sex partner! For some men, that one is all they’re gonna get!…yeah, I know,…pathetic!

Had you been a goof golf geek like Tiger, you might have NEVER had a pice THAT good (most of us dont)….well, at least not until you started making large cash! Golf ‘studs”, even at Stanford, PROBABLY didn’t bring home that best trim most nights. Truth be told, they probably, in those days, didn’t bring home much at all; -unless they came to school really really rich! Even then, it was PROBABLY a stuffy ass snatch at best.

In all  likelihood Tiger had an obligatory nut that seemed like the best ever, with Miss Elin. Heck, even if you were a somewhat accomplished “dude”, you might accept your penis’ interpretation that Elin’s looks beat out the less than acceptable performance. This isn’t exclusive to Tiger, but more of a widspread problem. How else do dudes accept jail to their women leaving them?

 I’m suggesting that, even if “she” IS extremely hawt, she may not be,…well,…all that “good”! At least not good enUFf to marry! BUT!…You “F”‘d up! You married “looks”, and not passion….M-I-S-T-A-K-E!

 You can see that as possible, right? If you step outside of her looks and evaluate the “pump” value. (That’s not “making love”, either, that’s brutal “up-the-whoo-hoo” Pro-level BANGING!…..Really, if you are into “making love”, YOU are a PRIME candidate for a partner that is looking for another mate! “Making Love” is a silly ass Soap Opera ideal, that doesn’t mean shit in the real World. If you are banking on your “Love making” ability to sustain your partner, you’re an IDIOT! You’re better off to start thinking  about *****in’ that “person” of interest, and leave “making love” to the stupid ass actors in movies and on TV. That “sissy-ass” shit doesn’t live out here in he real world!

Hey, I dated a smokin’ hawt Buccaneer Cheerleader back in the day, and she was smokin’ hot…Sure, she was ALSO great in the rack, but, had she NOT been, I’d have walked……Yes, I sure would have; and in a minute! That wasn’t the case with her, and as it turned out she ended up realizing she could do better, and left me.  I was NOT in a position to argue with her, heck, I was a hack Ho trolling babes for the fun of it, at that time.  She left me for a dude playing in the NFL, fella’s, there’s no shame in that game!…I was pizzed to lose the ”clam”, but at the same time she didn’t owe me anything! Besides, as you can now attest, I still have a great memory!…which I was lucky to get!

The point here, aside from me braggin’ a little, is this;…..No matter HOW hot the babe is, somewhere there is a dude who is sick of her shit! -OR, pizzed off! Yeah, maybe you’ve heard that old cliche, and maybe you’ve actually lived it (Like I did). Instead of being a jerk-ass about it, I took it for what is was – a great time!. I got her on her way up, which is better than ”on-her-way-down”. Still, it wasn’t enUFf to “Marry”!

So, Tiger has a smokin’ piece at home……see her HERE,…..OK, so we all know she’s a babe. Still, if she blows in the rack, or is even “just” good,…there’s always going to be a need to roam! Ladies, this is NOT a revelation, nor is it ANYthing different to how YOU all live or “roam” either. Some guys just figure that if the picture is nice, so is the ride. Well, like anyone whose ever ridden the Beast will tell you, there IS a better ride out there!

Elin, you are super hot!…and, now, you are a mother. Mother’s “sometimes” feel freaky about making it “pop” in the bedroom after they birthed a child.  The old, I’m a Mom, not a Whore” syndrome creeps in; or so I hear. Well, you played the part to hook the man, so dont be surprised when he wants that “whore” forever more!

You may think change is in order, and if you do…MORE power to you! But!, don’t freak when your man seeks out, and finds, another sexy dawg! Sex IS actually THAT important -it is! You may lose interests, or cut back because you’re not in the mood like you once were…Heck, maybe you even scaled back on the freaky shit (BIG MISTAKE!)…It’ll be noticed and, if needed, REPLACED! Dudes need sex. PERIOD!. THEY NEED IT! and, more than you do. This should interst you, unless you want them to bag strange trim. OK, so this is only the case for MOST men, not “all” men…There are sissy-bitch men out there who will not complain, but then end up in some Clock Tower with a highh powered rifle some day.

You want to sustain the relationship, keep doing what you were doing before you got the ring…if not, then don’t pick up a 9-iron when your man looks for some strange. Even if/when that strange is your horny-bitch friend! If you’ve given it up, it doesn’t mean he has too, and “F” you for thinking it should!!

My suggestion: Don’t think you are in control unless your man is a wuss….but if that’s the case, why’d you even bother?

And you guys need to realize too: “Heat is a 2-way street”. Pay attention to the “wife” like YOU use to, or risk her bending over the desk of that prick bastage in Sales! I dont need to read the Doc’s “love letters” to know, there are a BUNCH of horny ass women out there, that are NOT getting IT at home! Sad as that sounds, its happening!

Don’t blame Tiger for looking for greener greens!..It might not be his fault. Elin might have cooled, and if she did, what’s a man to do?

Guys!…right now, go find her, and give it to her like she wants the Bachelor (or some other TV shtud) to do it!…Don’t end up like Tiger! — with a wrecked SUV and a nine iron up your butt!

How much for the Hydrant?

Posted by UFreak in Random      No comments

Dec
2

Tiger skates, of course. Everyone with LARGE $$ does….and, he probably should. He’s gonna have his hands full for a few months ( But NOT with THIS ). Tiger’s gonna call Kobe, and commission the jeweler that got him out of the hot water. Yeah, if rUFf butt-sex costs a man 4-mil, what does “Down-under-night-putting” cost?

Still, how much do you think that Fire Hydrant will fetch on e-bay?

Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?   A. Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Q. What’s the difference between Tiger’s Cadillac and his pitching wedge?   A. He can back up his pitching wedge

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. I guess he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.