Here, at KY\OH Xtreme Football! FatGuySports and KY\OH Xtreme are going to be on the same page this year (and beyond!). Kick it off at:

2010 Xtreme Christmas Party
    Longworths Bar & Grill
December 11th 6pm to 10pm
Free Appetizers and $3 drinks!

Check out Mike’s “other site”, and information on the Christmas Party, HERE!!

Was THAT what Elin (Tiger’s wife) was aiming for when she “bum” rushed her man after the Thanksgiving Day meal? Elin and The Tiger have been mostly unavailable to authorities since the mysterious crash outside their shared home, early Friday morning. Reports have the scene looking as if Elin came rushing out of the home, after “hearing” her husband’s vehicle crash shortly after leaving the home.- WHAT, (yeah, me too)?..uh, then she came rushing outside with a golf club,….????..uh, you know, in case a window needs to be busted out…orrrrrr, your cheatin’ bastard husband hasn’t completely paid for his sins yet!????  Anyway, the claim is asking the public to believe that she rushed outside, and noticed that her husband some how wrecked his SUV; — a mere 6 seconds after he fired it up (Did your “bullshit alarm” go off too?). She rushed out to “help” him out thru the back window? She’s HUGE right?….what does Elin go, about 6′2″, somewhere around 230-240lbs?…right? Yeah, certainly she could crawl thru a busted window in the rear of the vehicle, and pull a 33-year old man out through that opening. SURE! SO!..at least THAT part of this mystery is cleared up!

Let’s see what this little incident might look like through the Al Bundy “MWC” glasses, though;

“Al” comes home from being abroad, or more specifically, “down under” at a Shoe Convention! Unbeknownst to “AL”, “Peggy” had received a few thousand text messages a few days earlier asking her why some New York Chippie from “Reebok” had her ”outback” stuck to “AL’s” crotch all weekend at some exclusive hotel. Even the National Enquirer, the “rag to the stars”, mentions it. Well, perhaps ”Peg” just rings it up to “Life with a Shoe celeb” and says “what the hell”…..or, perhaps she doesn’t!?? MAYBE she shits on that couch of hers, pizzed off in her cheap tawdry pumps!…or, “Pizzed in Pumps”, as we’ll call it here….Oh, and Naked too!,– after all, this is MY story, right?….So Eli-, uh, “Peggy” is naked, on the couch, with little more than her hawt red pump (shoes) on, and she’s pizzed! (What?..no pic link here?…hhmm, thought I’d have a pic link for this one,..no?…oh well!) Don’t click HERE,…really, don’t!…OK, sorry, HERE YA GO! That’s more appropriate considering the topic here.

Mid-way through watching the hired help clean up after the Thanksgiving meal, “Peg” and “Al” retire to their “Chamber” to draw into some more comfortable night time attire! ”Al” removes his Nike issued underwear, and out plops a grilled shrimp (a’la ”on the barbie!”) and a bloomin’ onion skinned condom!…”OH SHIT”! ”Peggy” now flips the “F” out! She grabs a Nike 9 iron (they have clubs in that house like one of them makes a living by golfing, they’re EVERYWHERE!!) and she starts to work on correcting her fade! She fades one just below “Al’s” nose, then slices one into (his) Woods! (ha!,..I had to work that in there, sorry!) Bleeding from the mouth, AND running towards the garage with a newly defined gait, “AL” grabs the keys to the only vehicle he can find….no, NOT the Dodge!, the Escalade! Al rev’s the engine, but “Peg” has already consulted her caddy, and now bears down on “Al” with her hybrid club….looking to pitch one from the rUFf stUFf. “Al” is a little slow out of the box, and “Peggy” catches ”back glass” with her (Nike) Slingshot. ITS IN THE HOLE!…ITS IN THE HOLE!…she cries! (OR, if it works better for you, she does a little “HERE’S JOHNNY!” instead).  FREAKED OUT, “Al” punches it,…the gas, not Peggy!…He’d never do that! “Him’s LOVES her!….anyway, he “hits the gas” and smokes it out of there, trailing “Peggy” like it were the field at Melbourne! Unfortunately for “Al” the only ‘driving” he’s any good at, it off a tee, so he ends up shanking his Caddy into the tree!. Peg meets up with him shortly after, and continues her assault on the ass end of the car. Banging, and banging and pumping and pumping her slingshot into that tail…..end. “Al” jumps out to stop her, but is again met in the jaw with one of his sponsors “products”. This time, her caddy has handed her the heavy WOOD(s). OUCH!

Luckily for “Al”, Jefferson Darcy has called the Cops!, and in rich neighborhoods they get there pretty quick! “Al” is dazed and confused when the Police arrive. Numerous blows to the head with “Just the right club” can have that effect on a man. That’s why, ladies, it is important to buy your man the right set! Shop now, in time for a good Xmas day massacre! Planning ahead ensures many Holiday memories later!

OK, so The Police get there, they say all the …”How in the F*&K do you crash THAT vehicle into THAT tree, from there; –and NOT be incredibly “F’d”-up?” ’s. Noting to themselves this is “AL BUNDY” and his hawt blonde wife “PEGGY”!, they decide to play nice and listen to the explanation. Since “Al” has some divots in his head and face, they listen to “Peggy” tell the story. Holding back the laughter, and resisting the urge to ask “You busted out the back window with a golf club?….for WHY??!?!?!!”….Instead, they allow her enUFf time (and rope) to implicate herself. Hey, if the b.tch is gonna hang herself, its only right that you allow her that OPP!

So there you have it, “Married w/Children” on location, in Orlando!….The Bundy’s aren’t talking to anyone about this at the moment…well, aside from a slew of expensive lawyers and maybe a good romance novelist anyway! This will all be explained as soon as the script is completed! It’ll explain all the mystery and wrap it up in some home-spun manner, leaving no stone unturned! Heck, even that tree and foliage that was destroyed will be restored to “better-than-new” status very soon! Besides, he can always just say he was just  washing his hands…?

The only mystery left, will be, does little Miss “Down-Under” show up in California this weekend, or does “Peggy” attend this event?

Jimmy-Jimmy Clausen will decide in the next few days, whether or not to forgo his Senior season at Notre Dame, and go Pro. He has that choice! He has the choice, but what is it based on?….Horrible career record?, ZERO big wins?,….bringing his team back against far inferior competition? Failing on his promises? Or maybe, getting his ass bitch-slapped by a fan in his own town?….Wait, maybe its Losing 2 of his last 3 against a team The Irish had beat 43 straight times before he got on campuss?…Possibly it was losing twice (back-to-back) AT home, on Senior Day? All that means GREAT PRO in my book (note sarcasm)!

Really, where is the substance here?….This kid’s mother agreed to swallow a QB Coach 8 weeks into her pregnancy so that “Jimmy” could be trained as a fetus!…I’m not kidding! This kid’s had opportunity other kids, who out-play him every day, never knew existed! Yet this “Super Star” has won absolutely SH.T in College! OK, let’s qualify that a bit, he’s done well for an average QB playing in a non-BCS conference who goes through his career with little to no mention. Compared to big time recruits, playing at what is suppose to be a “big-time” program?….He’s done less than nothing!. Hell, even UC-Davis picks up a memorable win now and again. How is it “Jimmy”-boy made it 3 years at Notre Dame, and never ONCE beat anyone of merit?(OK, so there were only a few opportunities due to the easy schedule, still…) You can only blame the defense for so much of a pathetic game against Navy, where they scored NOTHING until the final minutes. Or Syracuse, AT HOME, on Senior day when Jimmy’s offense scored a whopping 23 points against a team that gave up 42 to Akron that year! 23 points, btw, was the 3rd lowest points total given up by Syracuse ALL year!, in 2008. Yeah, they went 3-9 (including the Irish win) and were destroyed by everyone!! OK, so you’re going to say “Jimmy was just a Sophomore then….well yeah, a 21 year old Sophomore!

Yet, Jimmy has had NONE of those type games in HIS career! None! He didn’t even win 1/2 the games he was suppose to, much less direct even ONE “big” win!

As the younger brother of two former Division I quarterbacks—Casey and Rick Clausen, who both played at Tennessee—Jimmy Clausen gained media attention very early. Beginning in eighth grade, his parents paid his tutelage under professional quarterbacks coach Steve Clarkson. During his junior season, a Sports Illustrated feature dubbed him “The Kid with The Golden Arm”. Recruiting analysts considered him a “once in a decade” quarterback talent and ranked him as the #1 overall prospect of the 2007 high school class. Because of his quick release, some in the media compared him to Joe Namath.

Critics have questioned whether Clausen’s success in high school was largely a product of his team—containing almost a dozen players that went on to play for NCAA Division I Bowl Subdivision teams, including a highly-ranked running back, Marc Tyler—and the inferior talent level of its opponents. Many of these critics pointed to the 2007 U.S. Army All-American Bowlin which Clausen was outplayed by fellow 2007 quarterback recruit, Ryan Mallett. Further, Clausen’s age is a subject of criticism: he started kindergarten at six and repeated sixth grade, thus he was 19 years old at the time of his “early” graduation.

On April 22, 2006, Clausen verbally committed to the University of Notre Dame. He was the most highly touted recruit for the Fighting Irish since the arrival of Ron Powlus in 1993. Clausen announced his oral commitment at the College Football Hall of Fame in South Bend, Indiana, after arriving in a stretch Hummer limousine. He also said his goal was to win multiple national titles with the Irish. 

This year, “Jimmy-Jimmy” has logged 23 TD’s to only 4 INT’s, and thrown for 3382 yards. This is, I hope, what his advisers are banking an NFL future on…but again, what’s it mean? His defense “allowed” him to be ON the field a lot, and often in a position where he HAD to hurl the ball,….He played against an absolutely horrible schedule - all three years, and of those teams they played, most were soft defensively! Of the 23 TD’s he’s thrown this year, nearly a third of them (7) came in the first two weeks of this season; –against Nevada (117th worst pass defense) and hapless Michigan (in a game he lost; to a team that finished 5-7 !). He cant even boast that he managed his games well, as fumbles, a throw off a wr’s back, and keys sacks taken have plaugued him as well! Not even having two(2) of the best Wide-Outs the school has seen in 25 years, could ensure a .500 record! This, once again, against a schedule that would have had Idaho State licking their chops in anticipation! “Jimmy and the Fat Man” failed, failed, FAILED! Failed to get the wins deserving of their hype (and Coaches salary), FAILED to get even that one signature win, and failed to finish above .500! (assuming they’ll lose today). Oh, they also failed to return to any “worthy” Bowl Game!  

Yeah, go play another team with a 100-something ranked pass defense in a Bowl game, JIMMY!…pad your stats, so an NFL team picks you. You will fail just like you did given all the advantages you’ve had!….Really, you give Forrest Gump that kind of starting off point, and he’d have beaten Navy all 3 times! Jimmy = Joe Namath…HAHAHAHAHA! …Here’s hoping the dumb ass Cleveland Browns take another Charlie Weis Collegiate ”product”!, and sink their franchise for another 10-12 years!  – Charlie, I hope ND retains you for the life of your fat-ass contract! You give a whole lot of people a LOT to laugh about! Either YOU ruined Jimmy, or Jimmy was never that good,…either way, keep it up Chunky!

…thus taking a bit of the shine off next weeks game between UCincy and those disappointing Panthers. Pitt QB Bill Stull was a mediocre flop today, and the result is a loss for the Bearcats.

The WVU Mountaineers defeated the Pitt Panthers 19-16 in a game that will send Pitt OUT of the top 10, and tarnish what will be a Bodacious Bearcat Beatdown next weekend. Tony Pike and the boys sunk Zookers Illini as Pike fired 6 TD passes, and probably earned Brian Kelly another bonus tier with the Notre Dame Athletic Director.

All that needs to happen, is either F$U to trip up Tebow and the Gators in Tim’s final home game tomorrow, and/or for Nebraska to play out their asses and dump the 2009 Heisman winner Colt McCoy and his Longsteers on their asses. Sure, long shots, but how jacked up will F$U be to pull of their 1/2 of the formula? Beat Teeb’s in his last home game, last regular season game, and thump his chance of playing out his career in yet another BCS Title game!??!?! The motivation will NOT be in short supply tomorrow in G’ville! (CBS 3:30pm, for those who don’t know)

TCU gets New Mexico, or New Mexico A&M Tech State?; The only chance of an upset there is if The Texans show up in the Lobo’s place…..Everyone who blew Utah’s horn last year is in LOVE with the Horned ones this year, naturally! Anything to deflect! After all, they beat Clemson and Virginia this year!

There is hope, but its fading unless a few things happen. I for one, was very impressed (again!) with the UCats today, and Mr Pike’s great home finale! If they don’t get to play for the Nat Title, then I hope they get Jawja Tech or those (now) beloved Horned Frogs/Boise State Broncos. I also hope Kelly has the decency to divert attention away from his job status to NOT let it interfere with the prep work going into Bowl season. Can you imagine if Urban and Kelly both decline the job? Then its a race for J Hairball and Gary Patterson. THEN!,..man, if THEY turn it down as well?….Big Butt might just get to keep his job, to help ND save face!…..but, naaahhh, one of those guys will up and take it…..just hope its Hairy or G-Pat.

Turkey legs and pumpkin pie!….Enjoy the family time and the Football. Don’t forget, Texas/Texas A&M at 8pm tonight….and NO, A&M has NO chance, still, Colt McCoy and the Longhorns make for a good game.

THANKSGIVING DAY VIDEO

Most of us will never be mistaken for Perfect citizens in every way. I’m certainly not, and I doubt more than a few of you are, either. November 22, 2009 (Sunday) there was a passing of a 37 year old that fit the “good-guy-not-hero-guy” mold, that I include myself in. His name was Bryan Shaw.

He played a lot of Softball, and that’s where I met him many years ago. He was brash, and cocky and a lot of other things too. He was also a solid dude and while he might not have always done/said the “right” thing, he meant to. I saw a lot of my (younger) self in this guy. He’d go out of his way to make you laugh. Now, he’ll be missed. If you knew him, leave a note here.

RIP buddy!

Oregon and Arizona played a thriller last Saturday (11.21.09) and the game went into overtime, before Akili Smith hooked up with Tony Hartley to end it 145-142! It was an NBA all-star game for gawd’s sake!…OK, so Akili Smith and Tony Hartley weren’t there, and it was Jerimiah Masoli who ACTUALLY guided the “Ducks” to that big win. It was a good game, but let’s stop the tired old “West Coast Bias” chant that gets SOOOO much play EVERY freakin’ year. Oregon with a HORRIBLE performance against Boise State to begin the year, and a dump game against Stanford, is sitting 8th in the latest BCS STANDING. They ARE going to play THE Ohio State University in the beloved Rose Bowl, and it should be a great game. Deserving of the Rose Bowl! Outside that?…STFU already with that silly ass “WAH” crap about how those on the East Coast don’t value the late night Pac10 games. There are, what, 27 Div 1 teams west of Texas?…and some 90 teams “East” of that? USC and Boise State (thanks to their schedule) are the top two teams? Yeah, ”Eastern” folks should care MORE about what’s going on out there….Oooh, how do we resist that draw? I also missed Air Force and Idaho State playing a few weeks ago – They must be devasted!

You cant swing a dead cat in any State in this Union, without hitting a gaggle of writers willing to blow Pete Carroll’s horn, and lend him every credit known to a Head Coach; but, we should pay more attention to late night OT thrillers in AriZONA!! Yeah, they’ve been relevant since never! They get “breakfast” Football out there, and they’re complaining!? Every Year they get the Rose Bowl!…and,…and,…FSU in the Emerald Nuts Bowl? What else do they NEED? Plus, how many of those fish taco eaters are even watching our noon games out there? Bias hypocrite mother F-! Seventy-five percent of the population lives East of the Mississippi, shouldn’t we have interests of our own? Isn’t it conceivable that there are more good teams in that region?…NO?..oh, my bad!

side note: Jay Cutler is a douchebag little bitch,…sure, you already knew that. He just TJ Houshmandzadeh’d his coaches with that feminine hand-throw gesture in the NFL night game. Bengal fans know the move!

I’ve seen more Oregon games than (I believe) 99% of “Duck” fans have seen Gator games!…..With 2 losses and NO chance to move into the top stops, why should it matter? I appreciate what they’ve done, and I dont think “JUST” because they are West Coasters that they stink,..so…end it!…End that cheesey crap ass talk about lack of respect! Maybe putting that fruit loop QB Harrington poster up in Time Square a few years ago was a bad move? I’m not saying that IS the reason, just maybe! Its been 18 years since a team NOT called the Trojans even played a part in the National Title picture! Washington’s split Title with Miami in 1991 was the last team that won the thing! No, they deserve more love…yeah,..more.

1 Florida
2 Alabama
3 Texas
4 TCU
5 Cincinnati
6 Boise State
7 Georgia Tech
8 Oregon
9 Pittsburgh
10 Ohio State

An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation. Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets. The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew’s kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner. The Arab replied, “You forget, I have Jewish blood in me now!”

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Q. Can you name eleven parts of the human body which are only three letters long?

A. Ear, eye, lip, jaw, toe, leg, arm, gum, hip, rib & tit.

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The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Oh God,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window, then stopped. “Are you crazy,” he said, “we’re on the 13th floor.” “Shit,” cried the young lady in exasperation, “do you think that this is the right f.cking time to be superstitious?”

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Q. Why is an ugly girl like a bedspread? A. They both get turned down at the end of the night.

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A man studied the menu long and hard, and finally turned to the waiter for help. “Well,” said the waiter, “today our special is chicken on a bed of wild rice with green beans almandine and a nice side salad.” “That sounds great. How is your chicken prepared?” “We break it to him very gently and tell him it’s nothing personal.”

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A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.”And what will your third wish be?” The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?” “You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.” “Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.” “Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, “That was your first wish, too!”

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8-Ball was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job center he was offered work at the local Zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how 8-Ball was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure. “Where are the tortoises?” he asked him. “I can’t believe it” said 8-Ball “I just opened the door and then…..Whooooosh!”

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Q. What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem and Barack Obama have in common? A. They all made careers pretending to be black.

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Doc and The Golfer are in a tavern sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks. Doc gets a curious look on his face and asks, “Hey, Golfer, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?” “Yep”, says The Golfer,” I’ve been married to one for five years!”

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Riddle: John’s mother had four children. The first was April, the second was May, the third was June. What was the name of her fourth child?

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A guy goes into the confessional box. He finds on one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days.” The priest replies, “F.ck off! You’re on my side!”

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Machine is very upset and yells at his 8-Ball, “You slept with my wife, you son of a bitch. I am gonna make you pay for what you did.” “That’s Bullshit,” fires back 8-Ball, “why should I have to pay twice?”

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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, ‘He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.’ Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having SEX would surely be asking for trouble. ‘Oh no, my dear,’ replied granny. ‘Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured the best time to do it was when the Church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.’ She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, ‘He’d still be alive if that f.cking ice cream truck hadn’t come along.’

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“He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach. “But how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.”

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A slice of pizza is in the stomach, waiting to be digested. Suddenly, a shot of whiskey barrels down. The pizza lets it pass in front of him. A few minutes later, another shot of whiskey comes through. Courteously, the pizza lets it pass in front of him, too. A few minutes later, a third shot of whiskey tumbles into the stomach. The pizza asks the whiskey, “What’s going on up there?” “They’re having a really great party”, says the whiskey. “Really?”, responds the pizza. “I think I’ll go up there and take a look”.

Brian Kelly has done a very admirable job in Cincinnati since he arrived, and started talking about playing for the National Title!…Few outside Cincy noted what he was saying, and, even IN town few figured he was sane or even sober! (noticed how I skipped any reference to Chokin’ Huggins…). THEN!…he delivered! An Orange Bowl birth last year, and now this incredible run with a team the was suppose to be rebuilding! “Rebuilding” is an odd word to use when talking about UCincinnati Football, but that’s permitted after the Big East crown in 2008.

Kelly’s terrific job in town here, spells big trouble for all the “new” UC fans though, thanks to that big hunk of sh.t Charlie Weis and his uncanny inability to produce wins in South Bend! Even with a comically weak schedule, the “Round mound of Crap” can’t win enUFf games (or, ANY BIG GAMES) to keep his job despite an 18 million dollar buyout clause!….Really, how bad do you need to be if the idiots who over-paid you are also gonna over-pay to just F*CKIN’ LEAVE!!! To LEAVE!!,…he’ll get 18 million, after splooging some 4 million+ a year for SUCKING ASS!?!?!…..Sure, from a “Hey but he’s getting 18 million on top of what he’s already robbed from the University” stand-point, its a great thing! Sure, he duped the living sh.t out of that idiot who writes checks for school employees,..but then so did THIS kinda dumb bitch. Charlie has obvioulsy smoked her in this category, but I already mentioned that.

So, Notre Dame is going to pony up and send Fat Ass packing, with an 18 million dollar golden parachute…still hard to believe, but, they are! Now, here’s the UC interesting part; THE man they are going to go after REALLY REALLY hard is your good pal, Brian Kelly. Says WHO?…Says THESE GUYS! So, does he take the cash and replace the (fat) ASH?…probably! Will UC Football perish?….yeah, probably (again!)…..so, you have TWO choices, UCat fans,….Become Irish fans for at least the last 3 games if the regular season, or pony up 2.5 mil a year and keep Kelly in Ucat riches! Well, I guess you could also hope to hell that John Gruden wants the job in South Bend…hhmmm, this here says NO

Hey, don’t get mad at the messenger, as a Gator fan I’ve been going thru this every year Tubby-ass has BEEN in South Bend! That load of shit has just kept on Failing! Heck, they might still go after Urbs, but they’re gonna like Kelly’s offense (not a spread) much “more gooder” than Meyer’s. ME?..I’m gonna hope he loses AND they keep him, figuring 18 MILLION DOLLARS is just too much damn money to hand a failure as he leaves!…..I’d hope they’d be more interested in losing and making him pace the sidelines, then follow that up with pressers where he makes a complete ass of himself, than they are in making a change…you know, get your money’s worth!

We have THIS beaut!…..

Verne Troyer (Mini-Me) was recently served a temporary restraining order on behalf of drop dead stunner Yvette Monet. According to Monet, she and Troyer used to date, but broke up several months ago. Apparently they had a…wait for it,..waaaaiiitttt for it…..”Little” fling going on.

Now she claims to be afraid for her life, because like some rampaging Chucky doll, Verne just won’t leave her alone. She also claims that he has a gun, which I find hilarious, because I don’t know of any handguns that he could actually pull the trigger on. A rifle or shotgun is an even more side splitting possibility.

According to Yvette (who I must assume really, really loved her Cabbage Patch Dolls as a child), Troyer has been calling her and text messaging her with threats, telling her that his friends “Burt” and “Jose” have guns and will do anything that he tells them to.

This is ridiculous!

Do people actually believe that some psychotic little Muppet has the power to convince not one but two (ahem) “full grown” men to do his bidding? Unlikely.

Verne Troyer is best known for his role as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers films and for his drunken ridiculousness on the VH1 scumfest The Surreal Life, however some people know him as the little gnome that made a sex tape with former live in girlfriend Renae Shrider. Yuck. And “YUCK” lives HERE!

Navy dumps The Irish 23-21, maybe spoiling the Irish shot at the big Bowl game payoff. I say “maybe” because, well, when you “ARE” Notre Dame you only suck ass until your next win….regardless!

ITs not like they didn’t have EVERY OP to make it to the BCS level Bowl(s),….being Notre Dame and all. The rules for them are “special”, in that they don’t have to win a conference, play a conference Championship game, and don’t even have to reach the top 12 Like Boise State, TCU and the like. They, ND, only have to finish in the top 14 to “earn” an auto bid to a BCS game, despite what everyone else has to do. Add to that, they they’ve been as successful in Big Bowl games as “Pear’s” lawsuit was against the Doc’s for his failed gastric bypass surgery!, and well….-  Apparently Irish fans just love to watch their team lose BIG!

Charlie Weis Notre Dame Record - (35-24)

Still, Chunky Weis in his 5th season at “The Dame” has yet to have a “BIG” win or finish a season with any level of achievement. His lone Bowl win is against a sub-average Hawai’i team and he has a very Div-Two level success against top 25 teams! Still, his Pear’ness maintains the special status title as; – Head Coach!

Purdue is his “biggie” so far this year ( by 3), and his other conquests have been; Washington (by 7 in OT), Washy State, Nevada, Boston College (by 4), and  Michy State (by 3). His losses; USC (again!), UMichy, and Navy (for the 2nd time in 3 years!). No, Notre Dame has gotten EVERYthing and more out of this hire!…Yeah, he didn’t dupe them and then deliver NOTHING!

Games remaining on the schedule include to “away games” against Pitt and Stanford, and a “home game” against UConn. UC rang Uconn up for something like, 4300 yards thru the air in their win over the hapless Huskies. So look for Clausen to get back into the Heisman race after that one (maybe he wont fumble at he goal line in THAT home game)!  Five years, and the magic man has failed to deliver ONE signature win…ONE!. How he’s not being sued for malpractice is nothing short of a mini-miracle! Notre Dame fans have become the Chicago Cubs of College Football. The biggest difference being, of course, the Cubs wouldn’t “make” the post season based conclusively on their 1940’s success , TV contract, and Rabid fans who fight tooth and 3-leaf clover for respect, without having beat anyone!

I’m not exactly sure that Florida will make it to the National Title game (again) this year,…I know, tears and sorrow all around,…sure. But one thing IS certain. Five years ago two coaches took over programs that were mostly under achieving,….One has won 2 National Titles and is still in the running for a third, while the other is still struggling  to play in one of the 14 post-new Years bowl games– despite top recruiting classes the last 4 years!….Well, and the special considerations ONLY enjoyed by Notre Dame! When will the excuses end, at the “Bend”?….No, wait!….Its Ty Willingham’s fault (still), right!?!?!?

Ok, So here’s the dillio!

This is The Doc!  I haven’t posted in awhile, but daddies back baby and I’m coming strong so check this out….

I know this is a sports site, but we bring all the info to our readers.  Doesn’t matter what it’s about, we bring that shit to you.  And here’s my take on a dating site called plentyoffish.com…….

Ok, so I unfortunately find my sexy ass single.  So I decide to check out a little dating site called plentyoffish.com.   But the site should be called plentyofuglybitches.com

Seriously, No sooner than signing up, I had to delete my shit.  Because there wasn’t a bitch on there worthy of a doctors visit, ya hear me?

Sure, I might be slightly intoxicated while typing this, but does that really matter??????

I mean, if you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself.   There’s like 50 guys for every chick.  Which sucks because 9 out of every 10 chicks on there is worthy of a harpoon or a steak on a rope.

Everyone knows how tight me and UFreak are, but I wouldn’t bang any of those chicks with his UFreak Stick!

Just goes to show, there’s no such thing as FREE!  I mean, it’s a free dating site, but you’re playing craps with your nuts if you mess with any of those chicks!

So in essence, I guess this could be an extreme sport and fit in nicely with this site.

Otherwise, do yourself a favor……Hit a bar and remember, chicks that are 2’s at 1opm, are usually 10’s at 2a.m.

Put a sock on the pickle for safety and there’s no shame in double baggin’ it!

And like Dr. Dre said in “Put it on me”….Even asian bitches love to bang-cock!

This message has been brought to you by The Doc!
And I approve this message!

Out!

And there’s NOTHING you can do about it!….NERDS?…no, not that old game. This group is far more crushing! 

OR, CLICK HERE

Are you scared?…YET?!?!?!

Issue 3 is a done “deal”!….literally. With 53% of the voting Ohioans saying so!,..or, right around 3 million of the Ohioans who actually voted on the issue; – Which directly effects the 11.5 million that live IN the State.
Unions, “crook-eds” and the Future Casino owners spent over 35 million dollars to convince YOU, who voted to pass this “issue”. If it were such a “good” idea, why would it need that kind of funding to pass? If this is a slam-dunk great thing for Ohio, it wouldn’t need that kind of heavy investment, right? The stupid voters were already committed to this idea! All they needed to do was convince the few 100-thou of the smart voters. Which they must have done.

For the dwindling Unions, the projected job market boost is expected to help fill in for what a poor economy took away, recently. The greaseball-sounding FOP vp Scott Tipton, spokesperson for the Union faction, stated rather poorly (because the man shouldn’t be in front of a camera for ANY reason!…he looked and sounding like a 3rd grader giving a live report in speech class) that 34,000 jobs would be “created”….well, “created” is a liberal use of that word. REPORT HERE. — Right, still, jobs are jobs you say. Sure!…2400 jobs per city, for 2 years, to build temples to feed a gambling god just MUST be a good thing. It is a “good” thing for the Casino owners who will rake in the lion’s portion of the take, sinking endless 1000’s of borderline poor, into FULL on poor (people). Who’ll then return a smaller portion of the gambling money, so the state can turn around and give it right back to (some) people in the form of State “funded” assistance….-or welfare. GREAT DEAL! The only thing missing here, is a “skim” fee for me!..no, wait, then “I’d” be FOR Casino’s too! Oh, yeah, and don’t “forget”, to help the SCHOOLS!..Buh-hahahahahaha! Yeah, let’s not forget the positive impact it’ll have on the schools! ( Private Schools out-perform public schools in every category (that matters) despite spending far less money!…yeah, the implication there is more pocket stUFfing )

YOU LOST (more) Ohio!…Sadly, you just don’t know it yet! Barely more than 3 million voted, 1.6 FOR and 1.4 voted NO! The Unions and “hands-out” Politicians spent 35+ million (to just 5 million on the other side) to convince you this was “good”;…– why? Because Tipton really DOES care about the State, like he claims?..or because he’s getting a sweet chunk of the pie? Gambling is a choice, yes, but where else can you run a business, where you mathmatically cannot lose?….where you get to “buy” protection (and if you doubt that, ask ANYone who’s had even an argument with a Casino manager, then driven home thru Lawrenceburg…U R FKD!) and where you can promise Ponzi-scheme type returns???- because you CAN NOT LOSE? NO WHERE ELSE!

You really think this was a “for-the-good-of-the-people-of-ohio” idea?…of course its not!

There is a lot of opposition to this issue, including many Ohio lawmakers who say Issue 3 will shortchange Ohio.

Issue three calls for Ohio casinos to pay a 33% tax. That’s one of the lowest in the nation.

And the licensing fee for the casino is $50 million. Compare that to Indiana’s proposed casino, which would be a $400 million licensing fee.  

Other lawmakers say it’s not the answer to paying our state debt.

“We need to stop money from leaving Ohio but we should not use the state constitution to redirect most of the money into pockets of casino operators,” says Mayor Jay Williams of Youngstown.