Allen Iverson thinks God gives a crap about the NBA

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Sep
9

Aging and skill-sliding veteran NBA Baller Allen Iverson says “God picked Memphis for him to continue his NBA career“….REALLY “AI”?….did God do that for you?…&/or, us?

Be sure to thank the big Guy for ME, eh, “AL”!?….With all the horrible shit going on in the World these days, its sure nice to know the Holy-One is focusing on YOUR BASKETBALL career, ….ASS! Screw the dying children, terrorists mis-using their religious beliefs to kill, or all that other shit that’s actually IMPORTANT, no,..God needs to take ALL summer to figure out which of the 2 teams (and only 1 NBA team), that can use your diminishing skill-set and undying need to throw up 44 shots a game, YOU should sign with!…Yeah, YOU make less people believe in the “Supreme Being” with your crap. Forrest Gump wouldn’t need 13 seconds to un-encrypt this masterful mystery, so I’m betting God’s mental capacity wouldn’t require 3 months!!

Let’s start calling it what it is, dude…since we’re all intersted in “Keeping it REAL”!…right? You being the “Keeping it Real” guy and all.

Iverson didn’t have a lot of suitors this offseason. Memphis, Miami and Charlotte were most aggressive in their pursuits, but the combination of a cut in next season’s cap, down to $57.7 million, along with the prospect of even lower cap and luxury tax numbers for the 2010-11 season, dried up most of the potential marketplace for veterans. Portland, one of the few teams with room this summer, had no interest in Iverson, and the contending teams with mid-level exceptions went in different directions.

You had TWO low-rung teams looking to add a player for under 4 mil…..which in today’s game is, unfortunately, a bargain. BUT!..YOUR gonna “tweet” (how nice, Tweeting!,..that’s so sweet!) how God has a plan for you?…You had Memphis or Greece as legit choices. I’m pretty sure God knew this was as big a no brainer as everyone else KNEW it to be. I don’t follow the NBA, and I knew that!…(Jackasses like Iverson being a big reason for THAT, of course). You didn’t need God here “Practice-guy”, that freakin’ machine in the Movie “BIG” could have done this for ya! Next time you need to use God to improve your imagine, just,..just,..try “Keeping it real” instead, JERKASS!

Remember 2002,..back in your Philly days? Was it GOD then too, who told you to storm into an apartment building with guns drawn, to look for your wife?….Was the big guy involved in THAT tactical plan too, Bud?….ASS! Just stop, enjoy your gift and NBA career,…just quit including anyone else in this dynamic desicion to sign a BBall contract with your ONLY OPTION! Even asking God for help on a one-answer question is stupid, but to say “HE” provided you with the answer is like saying you need “reminders” to breath!……ASS!

Drunk Ho screws up Merriman’s return to NFL

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Sep
8

Shawne Merriman, the beast LB who plays for the San Diego Chargers, apparently has pizz poor taste in “ho-bags”!….though to his credit, he went straight ot the top for this one!…”T-Teq” (Tila Tequila) CHARGEered Shawne Merriman with some whicked trumped up crap over the Holiday weekend,..sure, sure, you’ve heard about it. But have you wondered why he even bothered with the low-rung Paris Hilton type skank ho in the first place?….Sure, the action is probably top shelf and she does love the girlies, but dude could tap equal talent with better looks on any “off” Tuesday, for gawd sake. Why risk the massive disease fest that must be her crack hole? It would be like swimming in the East River, when you could afford to stay at the Ritz-Carlton. It just can’t be worth the testing and shots you must have to take after bagging that cesspool. Then she’d likely TALK to you at some point, and gheesh, the pain associated with THAT!?!?!

Poppin’ rack, for sure….but for Merriman types, these are literally a dime a dozen.

Look, no one “wants” a virgin past 7th grade, and few still want to have to teach anyone, but YAK Shawne;… You HAVE to be able to “do” better dude. Was it that insane being out of Football for a year? You think your knee cost you, wait until hepatitis creeps in man! Plus, PLUS!…she’s a pizz poor mean ass drunk!…Cut your losses, and send her back to the c-list reality show circuit and consider the experience a lesson learned! Hey, props for not letting her leave, and drive into a family van in her condition, but move on already! Ever hear of Andre Rison?..yeah, his whack job ho burned his shit down! Then of course she drove herself off the planet. (RIP “Left-Eye“!)

The Patriots have the “MO” on TEAM!

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Sep
8

Hate Boston fans in general?…Heck yes, I can understand that. Hate the NFL Patriots? NO WAY!

Richard Seymour is a (and was a) super football player, and proved it without being much of an ass. Until recently. Unable to reel him into the mix, the Patriots unloaded him to Oakland for a 2011 first round pick. News of this trade sent “woodies” thru Oakland’s massive fan base. Unfortunately, Seymour must be regretting his lawyer/agents suggestions, and has failed to report to the Raider camp. …uh-oh!…Asshole remorse?….lets hope so!

Just like the Wonderers found out,…DON’T F**K WITH THE WONGS!….Don’t “F” with the cut-off sleeved Belichick man! The team dont NEED you, YOU need the team! You want to demand chit or over-value yourself inspite of the TEAM?…NOT HERE MISTER! NO player runs the show in Patriot Village! That’s why THEY win, and a BIG reason why the Bungles lose! SonOfPaul (mike brown to the layman) likes having Chud divert some away from the losing with his “LOOK AT ME” crap, while he rings the register and laughs at the sheep!

Unlike our Chump Bungles, who hold on to rotting fruit long after its value has passed (yes, Chud goes here), the Pats burn off a dude who is already grumping about money needs. In the last year of his 3.7 mil contract and pounding the pavement for a long term commit, Richie has worn out his welcome on a team that seeks winning over whining. Odd concept ’round THESE parts, eh!?? We keep the disease, and forfiet on the team. They, well, “they” just bring home the wins, that’s about all you need to take from that! We live off of “BUT THIS YEAR IT’LL BE DIFFERENT”, while they shine up Super Bowl Trophies….

“They” have it sooooo tUFf!

Tim Tebow-like?….Did they REALLY say that…

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Sep
7

…about THESE Cincinnati Bearcats?….Yes they did, and deservingly so! 47-15 AT Rutgers? Mr Kelly, what are you gonna say when the Bungles come calling?….Please say you like winning more than the move to their semi-Pro program!
UCincinnati Bearcats Football; there just might be a DOMinant Football program in this town now, and they look damn good!

PIKE TO GILYARD!,…TOUCHDOWN!!!!!…get use to it guys, those two are 2 GOOD players. 362 yards, 3 TD’s (one INT) and Gilyard hauled in 8 passes for 89 yards and a TD! They rushed well, which was huge, considering they haven’t done that much in the past. They blew past the 500 yard mark on Offense and that was done in game one, ON the road!….Hard to imagine this will be maintained, but think of the possibilities!…Great game UCats!….& nice work Mr Kelly!

PRIME TIME CATS?……looking GOOD!