Response to Union Boy

..or “girl”, I can’t be sure.

I was challenged in a poorly written email, on my inferred stance on Unions in this country. While its true, my original mention of it was Sports related. In reply to “Brad” (if that’s your real name), here’s the reasoning, or, my beef with unions.

Back in the day, mostly the 1800’s through the mid 1900’s, the Unions did some great things for the American workers. Sure!,..Back in those times if employers had their way, you would work 12 hours a day feeding stank-ass paper pulp into a printing press in some hot dangerous factory for starve-wages. Then at the end of your shift, to clean out the machinery, they would have you run your scrotum through the “gears” a few times in order to get all the extra ink out of there. You’d go home with “bells” that looked like a goo-wad of Silly Puddy, that had been “pressed” on to the classified section of your local Cincy Enquirer! Try and get “serviced” with your “yad-kuhs” looking like THAT! Yeah, those were not envious times to be an American factory worker, as The Man was always out to screw you and pinch himself a few more pennies.

So along came unions and changed all that. Because of the contributions of many courageous individuals, they were able to lower the work day from 14\12 hours to eight. They improved safety regulations and established workers’ compensation. In fact they fixed everything up all nice and dandy. So if everything got fixed, why are unions still around today? ….-and therein lies the problem with them. They have outlived their usefulness.

I will illustrate this point with an overly graphic analogy: Imagine you are a woman who has a little case of “feminine itch.” You go to the gynecologist and he does his thing and fixes your problem –YEA YOU!. AH!,..but even after the problem is fixed, he follows you home and keeps diddling with your crotch! In this illustration, you are “America” and the gynecologist is the “union”. It inspires this new work related slogan: For the love of God, you union bastards! Show some respect and get your fingers out of the “AEV”! …*(American Economic Vagina!)….Now again, this is just a hyped illustration, as the fem itch could come back, and yes, you need gyno’s in your World. The point – they just need to know when to stop, and stop costing you $$$ and jobs! We pay Firefighters even when they DO NOT do anything for us individually, but Unions are not Firefighters!

This also applies to the Football, Baseball, and all Sports-run Unions. Stop ruining the game for the people you all CLAIM to be playing it for!…The fans! Of course NO one is naïve enUFf to think any Pro Sports figure is playing the sport for ANYTHING except the money,…BUT!, still, since THEY use it, I will! Unions collect dues, and therefore HAVE to make it look like they are always “doing” something…even when there is little to nothing to do…So, they create issues and make it appear as if they’ve still got a lot more to do. They don’t! Unions now are costing Americans far more than they are contributing…..of course telling that to a Union Worker is akin to telling Oprah to put DOWN that 4th ham!

Brad, I encourage you to write me YOUR supportive views on Unions in America…just please make it easier to read than your hate e-mail was. Thanks!