The NAME GAME

Posted by UFreak in Random      No comments

May
12

No, not this game :

The one that produces “Chip”, Skippy, Peter, “Jeffrey” and those type names….Dudes going by the name “Jimmy”, or “Bobby” in lieu of Jim or Bob. WTF? Chipper Jones?……Isn’t 38 years old a little LONG to be going by “Chipper”,..and Stevie?….really? I talked to a dude today, who said his name is Jeffery…..NOT Jeffrey!…”JEFFery“!….I said, can I call you Jeff?….he said he prefers “Jeffery“. So I transfered his call to the little boys department at Sears.

There are exceptions!….Douglas MacArthur, Ronald McDonald, Bobby Bonds, Laurence Fishburne, Richard Cranium, to name a few!….And you can bet your ass that Doug, Ron, Bob, Larry & “Rich” were said around those dinner tables more often than those birth-certificate names!…Callin’ some one “Bob” by the  way of: “Bob’beeeehhhh”, that’s acceptable….but Chip(py)?…AND Chipper?  Good gawd, hand him a “lolly” and move away quick, before someone confuses you with a pedophile, man.

Some words to avoid,….”Bye-Bye“?…No!,..its just ONE Bye, now;……”Cool Beans“?….I swear I’ve heard this a couple times already this year! -and there is no quality conversion for that phrase, just turn in your nads and run off into the dessert to die;….”All-righty-O“?…..that deserves a punch in the sternum, maybe two!;  “24/7“?,…eye socket fracture!….;…and that annoying ticking sound people do when they can’t find something, you know,..like a “totototototototo” or some shit?…..that deserves stereo cauliflower ear!

Feel free to add your own here,…..there are a shitload of them.