Feeling sick these days?….it could be

..The “Ham-n-Eggs” flu!, with a side of hash browns!

The FDC (Fatguy Disease Control) unit has established that a rare, Bird/Swine-Flu straind has been mutated, in an Idaho potato patch,…Yes, this has been confirmed!,…and it produced an OUT OF FREAKIN CONTROL new Breakfast Flu bug. The Ham-n-Eggs w/a side of hash browns (no onions) is untreatable.  If you even  THINK you’ve contacted this bug, particularly at a Denny’s or an IHOP, you should proceed to the Soylent Green re-assignment center nearest you, at once! (Ask for Professor Charlton Heston )

Outside of that, panic and over-racting are your biggest assets. You should avoid Breakfast, and foods in your lunch that might be conSIDERED breakfast foods,  doing the Chicken dance OR having intercourse with a pig…HEY!,..in times like this, we all have to give a little! If you follow these simple, no brainer tips, you’ll be just fine,..(.or you wont???)…Stay tuned for further alarms, from our FDC unit. Thank you, and…enjoy hysteria!