Vince, the ShamWow guy, is in a little non-liquid on the counter trouble?…WOW!….APPARENTLY!

Sounds like Keith Oberman really thinks this is a funny story,..and, well,…yeah, so do I…PLAY

A Miami Hooker, a bitten tongue and a bunch of thirsty towels!…WOW!

Mikey Vick, PETA’s FAVORITE poster boy for abuse, (and Football’s “BIGGEST LOSER!”) has been (it seems) smokin’ up the herb with much frequency during his stay in prison(s). Mike shares his thoughts on his soon to be offered FAT NFL contract, HERE.

 Yeah, Mike,..you’re part of the “ITS NOT ME ITS YOU” generation!…..You play a Sport, so NO WAY you should continue to pay for being a doucheBAG!…Here’s hoping Goodell has a surprise in store for you….Mr “Didn’t learn sh.t in jail”!…..10-million a year, right out of prison!…Who’s gonna do that, Ganga-Mon!?!?!  How many idiot Arthur Blanks-types do you think are OUT there?…..A shout out to Daniel Snyder, of course.

A. Blanket is to couch
B. Leg is to arm
C. Hair is to shoe
D. Timepiece is to watch

Looks like a Rogaine Ad!…HEY!,…there’s your $100K idea!, “Perfect” Tom!

UFreak posted this in the FORUMS , but I just couldn’t let it go that easily!  There is too much going on to let it go so easily!

First off I gotta give props to the dude for taking this video.  It reminded me of American pie when Jim kept jizzing on himself with Nadia in the room.  Anyway, what a brilliant, yet simple idea!  So it got me thinking….

….Here ye, Here ye, The Doc is calling on all patrons of the FatGuy Nation.  We need to start getting pics in lingerie playing Wii Fit.  Maybe even hold a “Sexiest Wii Fit Hottie” party.  Lets be honest, while this guys idea was phenominal, his subject, could be a little more arousing, I mean appealling!

The list of players who could have come out early and decided to return to school is very impressive. Imagine a draft with Sam Bradford of Oklahoma, Colt McCoy of Texas, Florida’s Tim Tebow, Matthew Stafford of Georgia and USC’s Mark Sanchez. -Oklahoma’s Jermaine Gresham, a tight end, would have been a high draft pick, he’s a beast. Same with Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes – (PLAY THIS).

The early entrants for this year’s draft is a solid bunch. In fact, some of the “early’s” will be steals in the later rounds.

1. Matthew Stafford, Georgia, QB: Stafford has the rocket arm NFL teams love. But his decision making, field vision, performance agaisnt Florida and tendency for turnovers are big concerns. He has really good size for the NFL — 6-foot-3 and around 235 pounds.
Reminds one of …. : Denver’s Jay Cutler?
Where he’ll go: He’ll go in the top 10. New Detroit head coach Jim Schwartz is a defensive guy (he was Tennessee’s defensive coordinatior). The Lions select Aaron Curry, a linebacker from Wake Forest, or offensive tackle Jason Smith of Baylor. That means Stafford slips all the way to San Francisco at No. 10? Save your seat in the Green room, DAWG!

2. Jeremy Maclin, Missouri, WR: According to reports, Maclin was having a great showing at the NFL combine until he suffered a leg injury (or maybe he stretched out his vagina?). Maclin (6-1 and 200 pounds) has the speed to make an impact in the NFL.
Reminds you of …. : Philadelphia’s DeSean Jackson….without the flair and “LOOK-ITS-ME” crap attitude.
Where he’ll go: Anywhere from Nos. 5-8, with Cleveland and Cincinnati being strong possibilities. Cincinnati NEEDS one at No. 6, as a replacement for T.J. Houshmandzadeh….the Bungles could do worse!

3. Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech, WR: At 6-3 and 215 pounds, Crabtree has ideal size. He doesn’t have blazing speed, but he is strong and has great hands.
Reminds one of …. : Denver’s Brandon Marshall, without the leagal troubles
Where he’ll go: If the Bungles allow it,…Oakland at No. 7.

4. Andre Smith, Alabama, OT: Smith (6-4 and 340 pounds at Alabama) has not had a great few months. Smith was suspended and missed the Sugar Bowl because of his alleged contact with an agent. He then showed up overweight and unprepared for the NFL Combine. And left early without telling anybody. Still, Smith was dominant during his junior season at Alabama, playing against very good defensive linemen in the SEC. Watched him take opposing players out of entire games with his blocking ability. You always like the word “mauler” associated with offensive lineman, and its been printed many times to describe Smith.
Reminds you of …. : Washington’s Chris Samuels???
Where he’ll go: He’s done enough to scare away the top five teams. But it wouldn’t be a surprise if he slipped past No. 8 to where Jacksonville is, and they need a good offensive tackle to protect hack QB David Garrard.

5. Aaron Maybin, Penn State, DE:Impressions: very fast, plays with a lot of energy, and has some unique raw physical talent. Maybin could have probably used another year in college to put on some weight and get stronger (He’s 6-4 and around 240 pounds). Maybin was impressive during PENnIState’s pro day.
Reminds one of …. : Pittsburgh’s LaMarr Woodley???
Where he’ll go: Some think Maybin isn’t big enough to play in a traditional 4-3 alignment and would be better in a 3-4, where he can play linebacker and then move closer to the line on passing downs to take advantage of his pass rushing ability. In mock drafts some have him going to New England. Maybin might fit best in a 3-4 alignment so, YES! the Patriots.

6. Vontae Davis, Illinois, CB: Davis is 6-foot and 205 pounds, which is good size for a cornerback. He has speed and is the best cover/shutdown man in the draft. He’s very athletic.
Reminds you of …. : Darrelle Revis of the Jets?
Where he’ll go: The Saints really need a shutdown corner. So, New Orleans with the No. 14 pick.

7. Percy Harvin, Florida, WR: Harvin was so dangerous at Florida. Just get the ball in his hands and watch out. Harvin has great speed, but is a bit small at 5-11 and 200. He just has so much talent and ability that he’ll find success at the pro level. Harvin’s upside is that he could run the ball on some trick plays, or return punts.
Reminds one of …. : no one,…he’s “Oh mercy!…its Percy!”,….he’ll re-write history!
Where he’ll go: Actually, it could be interesting. The Eagles, Tenn, ‘Sota and really ANYONE could use this guy…Also the Colts and Giants even,…if they get lucky enUFf.

8. Darrius Heyward-Bey, Maryland, WR: Heyward-Bey has run a 4.3 40, so he’s got the blazing speed. He’s 6-1 and 210, which will be fine at the next level. But he has to answer questions about his hands and overall strength.
Reminds some of …. : Miami’s Ted Ginn Jr.
Where he’ll go: He’s got a ton of speed so some team desperate to stretch the field will take him in the first round. maybe Chicago? Maybe he slips to Indianapolis?, which needs to replace Marvin Harrison, at No. 27.

9. Shonn Greene, Iowa, RB: Greene is big (5-11 and 235) and once he gets going he is very tough to bring down. Greene’s field vision is excellent and he has the ability to make the key cut and find the open space. He isn’t very fast. Was very impressed each time he played in 2008 -at Iowa. He knows how to run.
Reminds some of …. : Atlanta’s Michael Turner
Where he’ll go: He’s probably the third best back in the draft (with Knowshon Moreno or Georgia and Ohio State’s Chris Wells ahead of him). Greene will likely slip to the second round and be a steal for some team. Could see the Lions take him at No. 33.

10. Everette Brown, Florida State, DE: He’s disruptive and he’s strong. He will be a good pass rusher in the NFL. He’s not as fast as Julius Peppers of Carolina or Mario Williams of Houston.
Reminds you of …. : Osi Umenyiora, of the Giants??..maybe that’s too much of a stretch right now?….yeah.
Where he’ll go: Green Bay, with the No. 9 pick, and Denver (No. 12) could certainly use a good pass rusher. Maybe Denver.

Yo!,…”Who’s gonna win this years F4?”……”The  SSSSSPPPPAAARRRTTTAAANNNNNSSS!!!!!”…..cries (Kings of) LEONidas, in a spitty Spartan melowdramatic kinda way….You know,..kinda like when you know your wife is gonna boink that jerk from the Dockers commercial, but says she’s doing it to help you live,…but you kinda doubt it ’cause her ass is TOTALLY gonna roll with it and have a party good time,…then she’ll “find out” that he was all Bullsh.t, and she just got served?…..yeah,..”served” a heaping helping plate load of KISHKA!, that is!….Yeah, you get gaffed to death 1200 times, while all she gets is a mighty porking!….oh, wait,….this is about the F4,…yeah,..here in 2009….Oh well, lets still  go with the “SSSSPPPAAARRTTTANNNNSS!!!!…during King Izzo’s final year in East Lansing…..you know, before UKentucky grabs him up for Saban-like blood money. And, as long as there’s no goofy smiling Mateen Clevage all jolly-hopping around like a court jesture, why not!?!

GO MICHY STATE!….SPARTAAAAAAAAAnnnz!

We’ve all seen projections from the Kiper-wanna-bee’s (including Kiper himself!) that the #6 pick could be a WR, LB, OL or, GAWD forbid, a RB!….I’m ALL for the Bungles to pick the Virginee OL or if the dude from Baylor slips past St Lou, to take him…..if both are gone, though,..and the Bungles take Smith? (from ‘Bammer, who left the combine w/o notice?) then they’d be opening themselves up for more criticism….Whoever takes the guy will, though….and though some experts have him UNdrafted for the first DAY!,..other have him still (after the Pro-Day in Bama) as a top 10 pick….so,…Can the Bungles afford to pick him, if the 1st two OL’s are gone?…..not likely to fall that way,..but possible.
Do they then take Crabs?….JUST because the Raiders want him?…..or would the Raiders just take the overall best WR on the board (Percy Harvin) and not sweat a bead?…….seems unlikely the Bengles would play a “card” anyway……and Crabs is a super potential-kid….

still,..who would YOU take?….

Cheese and Crackers!…..how do you give up 14 hits in less than 5 innings!?!?!?! Two walks, 14 hits and 10 runs! (only 3 were “earned” though)….that’s not a bad line from his ERA standpoint, but the 16 baserunners sure is!!! ….fahq,..KAZMIR doubled, for gawd sake!..Kazmir!….yeah, he’s a pitcher in the American league!…that’s right!
Can some one hypnotize Bronson “Guitar-hero” A-yoyo and make him think its already AFTER the All-Star break, and that the Reds are out of contention already?

The Bruce 2-run Jack,…nice…..#3 for the Spring?…..ok,…not gonna be enUFf though…..The Reds stared out strong(er),…Hannigan looks good,….

There’s probably a lot of truth to this one.

….but since he’s “Ass-Clown” #1 in Sports Journalism,…we tender that “care” what he says with the “consider-at-the-Sorce” philosophy!

still….HERE

and JIM!….