Dear Doc Dawg,

-Albert

Good Question Slim Albert! One that most certainly deserves some attention.

And I guess the answer is, which Lindsay HO are we talking about? If you’re talking about the one pictured above, or the one that you posted in the message board (Click HERE to See)
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Dude, if it’s the one above it’s a no brainer, you bang that bitch like it’s going out of style. In this picture, she looks healthy, she looks sexy, and here breast’eses look very nice.

If it’s the one in the other pic, it’s a “closing time” decision.  She looks like a reject ’70’s fluffer strung out on heroin.  And you know the only time you bang chicks like that is at closing time.  You know, after you’ve been at the club all night, bumping and grinding with honey’s, and now it’s 2a.m. and you go from being tipsy to realizing you’re probably going home alone.  Then as you’re heading to the door, you spot this cracked out looking Lindsay HO and suddenly your mind is computing variables like a NASA MainFrame computer. Like, does anyone here recognize me and would they see me leave with her? when’s the last time I had some? when’s the next time I’m going out? Wonder if she’ll just blow me in the car? (insert your variables here)

Ultimately, you wanted to know if she’s too skinny or doable.  In the pic you posted, she’s just too cracked out for me.  Personally I like my chicks to have a little meat on them.  In the pic above, she has just enough meat on her where you can have some fun with her.  Any smaller than that and all you’re playing with is a butt bone and a bird cage.

So to everyone going out tonight.  Remember, if you find yourself needing someone at closing time and thinking about grabbing that last “punching bag” at the end of the bar, just remember:  One night stands are fun, but AIDS lasts forever!  

Let that thought hit you when the booze where’s off!

Sincerely,

The Doc!

PS – Food is for “Dateable”, not “Doable” chicks.

So in this case,  is she needs more than a FatGuy Splatter, bitch better grab a McD’s breakfast value meal on her way home in the morning! Ya feel me?

“Security footage in New Zealand shows two prisoners handcuffed together ruining their own escape when they tried to run around either side of a lamp post. When the jailers caught up with them and took them back into custody. To quote Homer Simpson…..DOH

I’m driving home yesterday, “Day 3″ of this Deadly Arctic Blast!…and who do I see on the highway?…Oh, its Mr Douchebag in his Acur-a-Honda, driving in the fast lane with 3 feet of snow on his roof! The clown cleared about 2 feet of his windshield, NOTHING off the back window, and it looked like he piled snow ON the roof of his car….Freakin’ A$$HOLE!….he gets it up to about 42 mph, and now I got the ‘78 blizzard driving in front of me……When I can finally pASS this jerk-ass, of course, he’s yappin’ on a cell phone!….now I ask you,…had I just nudged him into the median, who’d have cared (well, maybe the people driving East on 275…??). That’s an accident I’d pay to see!

If you can’t get the snow off your car, stay the F**k off the highway, and for damn sakes, get off your phone!…you’re a GUY for gawd sake,…Few conversations a guy is involved in should take more than 1 minute!

So to you my Douchebag, Acur-a-Honda, Asshole friend…………..this song is for you!

The people at Miller have decided that paying $3 million for a 30-second commercial is a bit much. So instead they’ve come up with a series of one-second ads. Because Budweiser has exclusive rights from the NFL to run beer ads during the Super Bowl, Miller is forced to buy air time on local NBC affiliates and not in every city.

Miller hasn’t leaked any of the official one second ads, but you can see some of the rejected ones on 1secondad.com.

Was his motivation to sack the QB or get some ass? Cause he’s got that “hip grip” and leaning to the side like he’s gettin’ it pretty good.
So here’s to you Rex, nobody took a pounding like you did!

NBC rejected this ad for the Super Bowl because it was too sexual. Now, I think these PETA people are flat out nuts but this ad may qualify as Fat Guy Snackability. Dont quit eating those strips, just enjoy the show.

Listen, I am all about fatguys getting their groove on, really I am, but this Fatguy is giving fatguys all over the world a bad name.  Dude, dance all you want, but not to Beyonce err Sasha Fierce, wearing a leotard, dancing and lip syncing in front of a mirror on YouTube.  We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine.

“I have no interest in reading Joe Torre’s book. That is, unless I see Derek reading it. Then I’ll read it, too.”

- Alex Rodriguez

Does anyone give 2 dead flies for this Book?…I wouldn’t keep in the bathroom if they GAVE me a copy.

What the FAHQ is it, that jilted lover’s have to produce a tell all book?…Who are you now Joe, Jennifer Aniston!?!?….Good GAWD, nut up pal, you make millions playing “Laurel” to Steiney’s “HARDy”, and now you need to write a book?…Is this to “clear your chest”, or to rub it in the Yank-faces that THEY failed to make the playoffs (the year after you left) and that the Dodgers (and those commercials you do on the beach are REALLY stupid), DID make the playoffs? yea-UH!….You’re a tool, Joe. After being the calming face to the Yankee storm, you have totally West-coasted yourself….and not in a GOOD way!.
I hope your book tanks, but we both know there are minions lining up to soak in your sun(Shine)! Enjoy selling out,…..JOE!

DON’T BUY HIS BOOK!… Yankees Fans Frustrated

Ok fellas, I am going to start my Fatguysports.com Bartender of the Week Spot.  My first bartender of the week is Stefanie from the Holy Grail West.  Stef is an absolutely great bartender, and pretty easy on the eyes if you know what I mean.  I have never had a bad experience with Stef.  You can catch her most Thursdays and Fridays at the Holy Grail West.  If you have a suggestion for bartender of the week, or you would like to nominate someone(including yourself), send one of us an email.  thegolfer@fatguysports.com or thedoc@fatguysports.com  I need a submission for next week, I would hate to make myself the FGSBTOW

What should I BRING to the Super Bowl Party (@ TAKE 5 on Harrison Ave)?????

well, if you’re handy in the kitchen,…how ’bout this!…??
ultimate-super-bowl-snack-stadium

and if you’re not, then just come one down, buy “G-G” a Bud-Light and tell us what you’d do for a Klondike bar!

“Yep, you can stay…..”

Well, I guess Super Bowl week brings revenue to everyone in the host city, including prostitutes.  In an effort to keep the ladies down, the Tampa Police are cracking down on the local prostitutes.  Thank god for 5-0.  I hope that Doc doesn’t get any ideas and use any of these hookers as snacks of the day.

Click HERE to see all of the Ho’s arrested!  It aint pretty

Congrats to the Mayor, Sean Casey.  Casey has officially retired from MLB and has taken a position with the MLB Network as an Anaylst.  I always enjoyed watching Sean play the game, except for his pre-pitch routine, and now I will enjoy listening to his take on what’s going on in MLB.  Good luck Sean!!!!!

Sean Casey retired from Major League Baseball on Tuesday and joined MLB Network as a studio analyst.

Casey, a three-time All-Star first baseman and designated hitter, ended a 12-year career that began in 1997 with Cleveland and concluded last year in Boston, with its biggest chunk an eight-year run in Cincinnati.

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