Reader E-mail: Is Double “L” too skinny?
Posted by TCombs in 
Dear Doc Dawg,
Question: Is Double “L” too skinny?…or is this insane wannabee lesbo still doable?…uh, from a guy’s perspective?…..and, where would you take her to eat, AFTERWARDS?
-Albert
Good Question Slim Albert! One that most certainly deserves some attention.
And I guess the answer is, which Lindsay HO are we talking about? If you’re talking about the one pictured above, or the one that you posted in the message board (Click HERE to See)
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Dude, if it’s the one above it’s a no brainer, you bang that bitch like it’s going out of style. In this picture, she looks healthy, she looks sexy, and here breast’eses look very nice.
If it’s the one in the other pic, it’s a “closing time” decision. She looks like a reject ’70′s fluffer strung out on heroin. And you know the only time you bang chicks like that is at closing time. You know, after you’ve been at the club all night, bumping and grinding with honey’s, and now it’s 2a.m. and you go from being tipsy to realizing you’re probably going home alone. Then as you’re heading to the door, you spot this cracked out looking Lindsay HO and suddenly your mind is computing variables like a NASA MainFrame computer. Like, does anyone here recognize me and would they see me leave with her? when’s the last time I had some? when’s the next time I’m going out? Wonder if she’ll just blow me in the car? (insert your variables here)
Ultimately, you wanted to know if she’s too skinny or doable. In the pic you posted, she’s just too cracked out for me. Personally I like my chicks to have a little meat on them. In the pic above, she has just enough meat on her where you can have some fun with her. Any smaller than that and all you’re playing with is a butt bone and a bird cage.
So to everyone going out tonight. Remember, if you find yourself needing someone at closing time and thinking about grabbing that last “punching bag” at the end of the bar, just remember: One night stands are fun, but AIDS lasts forever!
Let that thought hit you when the booze where’s off!
Sincerely,
The Doc!
PS – Food is for “Dateable”, not “Doable” chicks.
So in this case, is she needs more than a FatGuy Splatter, bitch better grab a McD’s breakfast value meal on her way home in the morning! Ya feel me?
From the Stupid Criminal Files
“Security footage in New Zealand shows two prisoners handcuffed together ruining their own escape when they tried to run around either side of a lamp post. When the jailers caught up with them and took them back into custody. To quote Homer Simpson…..DOH
Not sure if you’re an A$$Hole?…check here!
I’m driving home yesterday, “Day 3″ of this Deadly Arctic Blast!…and who do I see on the highway?…Oh, its Mr Douchebag in his Acur-a-Honda, driving in the fast lane with 3 feet of snow on his roof! The clown cleared about 2 feet of his windshield, NOTHING off the back window, and it looked like he piled snow ON the roof of his car….Freakin’ A$$HOLE!….he gets it up to about 42 mph, and now I got the ’78 blizzard driving in front of me……When I can finally pASS this jerk-ass, of course, he’s yappin’ on a cell phone!….now I ask you,…had I just nudged him into the median, who’d have cared (well, maybe the people driving East on 275…??). That’s an accident I’d pay to see!
If you can’t get the snow off your car, stay the F**k off the highway, and for damn sakes, get off your phone!…you’re a GUY for gawd sake,…Few conversations a guy is involved in should take more than 1 minute!
So to you my Douchebag, Acur-a-Honda, Asshole friend…………..this song is for you!
1 Second Super Bowl Ads
The people at Miller have decided that paying $3 million for a 30-second commercial is a bit much. So instead they’ve come up with a series of one-second ads. Because Budweiser has exclusive rights from the NFL to run beer ads during the Super Bowl, Miller is forced to buy air time on local NBC affiliates and not in every city.
Miller hasn’t leaked any of the official one second ads, but you can see some of the rejected ones on 1secondad.com.
Public Displays of Affection – Rex Grossman
Was his motivation to sack the QB or get some ass? Cause he’s got that “hip grip” and leaning to the side like he’s gettin’ it pretty good.
So here’s to you Rex, nobody took a pounding like you did!
People Eat Tasty Animals got the boot by NBC
NBC rejected this ad for the Super Bowl because it was too sexual. Now, I think these PETA people are flat out nuts but this ad may qualify as Fat Guy Snackability. Dont quit eating those strips, just enjoy the show.
Joe Torre, a self-Help book?…
“I have no interest in reading Joe Torre’s book. That is, unless I see Derek reading it. Then I’ll read it, too.”
- Alex Rodriguez
Does anyone give 2 dead flies for this Book?…I wouldn’t keep in the bathroom if they GAVE me a copy.
What the FAHQ is it, that jilted lover’s have to produce a tell all book?…Who are you now Joe, Jennifer Aniston!?!?….Good GAWD, nut up pal, you make millions playing “Laurel” to Steiney’s “HARDy”, and now you need to write a book?…Is this to “clear your chest”, or to rub it in the Yank-faces that THEY failed to make the playoffs (the year after you left) and that the Dodgers (and those commercials you do on the beach are REALLY stupid), DID make the playoffs? yea-UH!….You’re a tool, Joe. After being the calming face to the Yankee storm, you have totally West-coasted yourself….and not in a GOOD way!.
I hope your book tanks, but we both know there are minions lining up to soak in your sun(Shine)! Enjoy selling out,…..JOE!
DON’T BUY HIS BOOK!… Yankees Fans Frustrated
BUT Doc, UFreak, FatGuy and Golfer,..what
What should I BRING to the Super Bowl Party (@ TAKE 5 on Harrison Ave)?????
well, if you’re handy in the kitchen,…how ’bout this!…??
ultimate-super-bowl-snack-stadium
and if you’re not, then just come one down, buy “G-G” a Bud-Light and tell us what you’d do for a Klondike bar!