Jack Black and Foo fighters cover ACDC’s Back in Black on New Years 2003

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
And Today is the biggest party day of the year…NEW YEARS EVE!
I expect party spots tonight to be filled with potential future hotties…

So be on the look out and pass the word around. I mean seriously, is there a better pick up line than,
“Hey, there’s this really cool website, it’s called fatguysports.com . Anyway, they have this section for local hotties and I just wanted you to know you should check it out, cause if they found what I’m looking at right now, they’d know they found the finest woman Cincinnati has to offer!” …..
Or Fuck it, come up with your own cheesy bullshit to get laid. I really don’t care, just make sure they come check out the site.

PS - When you do get laid for mentioning it, I expect an e-mail. And a simple “Thank you FatGuys” will do!

As always, send in your nominations for hottie of the day consideration to: thedoc@fatguysports.com

In the meantime, Happy New Years Eve!
Now, meet Lena:
age: 30
height: 5′6″
This Hawaiian beauty is coming to you by way of NKY
PS - she was born and raised in Jacksonville, so you’ll have to forgive her for the Jaguars Jersey..or not, hell, I doubt you’ll even notice! Thankfully she came to her senses, and now lives in the Nati!

Click Here to see more of Lena

Stranded - Bud Light Commercial - Watch more amazing videos here

Ok boys and girls…
Meet Tabitha:
Age: 22
Height: 5′9″
She’s a foxy little philly coming to you by way of the West Side.

If you want to nominate someone you know, or yourself, then e-mail: thedoc@fatguysports.com

Click Here to see more of Tabitha

NSFW: Language

What do you do when the biggest movie star in the world won’t leave your party?

Okay, so…Everyone knows the Dawg loves Christmas.  I mean, who doesn’t like to wake up at 4a.m. just to see what the FatGuy in a red pimp suit left under the dying fire hazard, better known as a Christmas Tree, but I digress..

Prior to Dec. 25th I thought I had it all figured out,  I mean, that is after countless trips back and forth to purgatory (aka the mall).  So I finished all my Christmas Shopping by 4pm Christmas Eve.  And I just knew how happy everyone was going to be with all the gifts I got them.  How I was doing my part, spreading cheer and joy for the holiday season.  And guess what, EVERYONE was happy.  That is, EVERYONE except for ME!

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “Hey Big Pimp fo’Shizzle, why weren’t you happy?”. 

Well I’m glad you asked!  I wasn’t happy because of the way toy manufacturers have these toys f*ckin’ locked up like Fort Knox!  And you know exactly what I’m talking about! RIGHT?

The kids are all jacked up, can’t wait to play with their new toys, but now they have to wait for daddy to pick the lock to pandora’s box.  Because some jackass at Hasbro thought it would be aesthetically pleasing to weld the arms, head, back, and legs to the box, because it will look better perfectly positioned in the box.  Not realizing that some day, little billy is actually going to want to get the damn thing out and play with it. 

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A playoff in College Football, like the ONE in the NFL?……The one where 11-5 New England was TEXAS-like NOT invited to play?…THAT kind of playoff?
Or the one that rewards 8-8 San Diego, but NOT 8-8 Denver, 8-8 Houston, or 8-8 Washington!?!?!?
The same playoff format that sees 9-7 Dallas, Chicago, Tampa Bay, & The NYJets at home, but SENDS pathetic Arizona on,…with the same 9-7 record?
THAT kind of playoff system?…Oh, yeah,..and we wonder why those in the (College)$$$ don’t want to change a thing!…or are at least not willing to jump in the pit!
College Texas fell into a (3way) tie, same as a number of these teams did. And, within the establlished rules they were NOT invited to play in the BIG12 Champ game (postseason)…..THE SPORTS WORLD WAS A FIRE, with rage!…yet, the MODEL those same rage-ful media hordes all push for, the NFL model, is just as discriminatory as they claim College Football is,….what with their TIE-breaker rules and all.
If this were College Football, this NFL game with the perfect playoff format, the Sports Writers would have you all UP IN ARMS over the UNfair acts that leaves these teams OUT of the playoff games!….oh, the OUTRAGE!

So, instead, the NCAA brings you game after game after game, spread out over a feast of days, and gives you hand-picked (in some cases, not without cause) classics! ALL leading up to the biggest games of them all. Tex-ass doesn’t get shut OUT!…not like Dallas did anyway. They (The Longhorns) get to play in a BIG ass game!…..and the players get swag and King-like treatment! Heck, the UC players are staying in SoBeach at The Foutainebleau Hotel! Google it, if you’ve never heard of it. ITS very nice. Without the Bowls set up like they are, this kinda of “week” doesn’t happen for these guys (and the other teams guys). For the 2-3 NFL players on each team, this might end up being nothing, but for the other 83+ that go?….its a great thing.

I don’t think they’ve (NCAA’ers) got it all figured out, and there have been years (not nearly as many as some people claim though) where injustices were a little too outrageous to comprehend, but more times than not,…the system NOW is working…..and when compared to the NFL, particularly THIS year, is set up just fine too!

There have been some good Bowl games of late.

Rutgers “slipping” past NCState, and last night’s Mizzu OT win over Northwestern are just two of the latest. Hats off to Northwestern, by the wat. Few had given them ANY chance to beat the mighty “Chase Daniel’s”. They made a real good showing for themselves.

Bowl (Sub)division I Records:
Atlantic Coast:     2-3
Big 12:     1-0
Big LEast:     3-0
Big Ten/Eleven:     0-2
Conference USA:     1-1
Independents (FBS):     1-1
Mid-American:     0-2
Mountain West:     2-1
Pacific-10:     2-0
SouthEasternC:     0-0
Sun Belt :    1-1
Western Athletic:     1-3

Its kinda “odd” that the ACC, which has had its fans celebrate its season this year by claiming to be the BEST conference, has ALREADY played 5 Bowl Games!….and only won 2 of them! If you are UNaware, ACC fans claim parity, and NOT the sometimes implied fact that they are “down” or just suck, that led to their poor showing in the top 25 this year. And to that end, they do have 5 more games on the Bowl Docket; Topped off by GeoTech who surged late in the year, and Virginia Tech (who’ll be beat by UC). The ACC isn’t without some merit to its claim……still, The Best conference?…a stretch.
The SEC, on the other hand, who might not come out of Bowl Season with a enviable record (collectively) but a Nat Title, hasn’t played a game yet! Though head-to-head games with the AC/DC-C and BIG11 are coming-among others!

Game(s) on! -today
#1. Humanitarian Bowl: Nevada vs Maryland-
This afternoon (4:30pm - ESPN)
On the Blue field in Boise….and Nevada is a 2 point fav! GO WOLFPACK!
Beer rating: drink a few here,…but not too many that you’ll miss something later on. For sure NOT a game to cut out of work early for,..unless you need another excuse.

#2. Holiday Bowl: Oregon vs Okly State- (ESPN - 8pm)
This could be an 85 point over\under game EASY! Tape this one if you’re not gonna catch it! Track meet of scoring! Okly is slightly favored because even the BIG12 plays better defense than the PAC10 (sans USCw).
Beer rating: 9,….you might want to stay coherent for this baby!

#3. Texas Bowl: Rice vs Western Michy….on the NFL network?????REALLY?!?!?….they MUST be kidding! Poor Rice fans NOT in Texas!-
Rice is a solid offensive team, and should win this one….though few outside of family members will set down and watch it. Still, if you’re at home with relatives you care nothing about, tune in to this game and see if you can’t get them to leave the room!….then turn on over to ESPN and watch the Holiday Bowl.
Beer rating: if you watch this one?…skip the beer, and shoot top shelf tequila. (4)

Greg Oden

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly’s ESPY Demands

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly’s ESPY Demands II

NSFW: Language

As I sit here on Monday afternoon, one day removed from the completion yet another Bengals Football season.  I ask myself the annual question, what changes will be made for next year?  Now, I have asked myself this same question year in and year out and somehow I never seem to come up with an answer.  Yet, like the rest of the sheep, I send in my $1600 every year and hope that this will be our year.  I, like many Bungle Fans, thought that 2005 was a sign of things to come.  I thought that we had finally turned the corner.  I thought that we would make a serious run at the Super Bowl.

 What I have finally come to terms with is that the Houston Texans will win a Super Bowl before the Bengals will.  Hell, I think the Detroit Lions will win before the Bengals.  We owe all of that confidence to the smartest businessman on the planet, Mike Brown (and for the rest of this rant, he will be referred to as SOP, which stands for Son of Paul).  SOP is a shrewd, greedy son of a bitch that charges $7.00 a beer.  I am going to stay on this for a minute, so bear with me.  I know for a fact that for Budweiser products, he pays at worst $16.32 per case of 16oz. plastic bottles.  That is $0.68 a beer.  He is charging $7 stinking dollars.   Yet, we continue to pay it. 

I didn’t go to the game yesterday; I had better things to do.  It is the first time that I have just skipped a game.  I hear season ticket holders say, I didn’t go because SOP isn’t getting any more money from me.  News flash, he got your money the day you sent in your payment for your tickets.  I am not telling you to give up your seats, hell, I am going to keep mine.  But don’t buy the $7.00 beer (which will be $7.50 next year).  Don’t buy the $75.00 dollar sweatshirt from the pro shop.  Don’t buy anything Bengals from any regular retailer.  If you need something Bengals, go to places like TJ Maxx, which buy all of the leftover inventory that stores have already paid for. 

Look, until the Bungles make major changes in management, we will be asking these same questions next year.  We can only hope that the Ghosts of Football Past maybe have paid SOP a visit over the holidays and made him realize that he is a football idiot. 

College Coach, in America,….Football…..has boasted an XBOX like tenure, which looks like this:
18 conference championships (since 1990)
16 undefeated Conference seasons (since 1990)

9 undefeated seasons overall
10 national championships
230-11-1 (since 1990), losing only 3 conference games since the 1990 season, one tie.

184-8-3 in conference play lifetime!

275-21-3 overall (since 1986, ….a 93.0 win%)

I am:______________________

For all of you that hate the wiggles….

A WTF production!

Dan Hoard: It might be the most famous embrace since Bill Clinton hugged a black beret-wearing Monica Lewinsky on a “rope line” in 1996.

When Mardy Gilyard crashed into the Nippert Stadium stands against USF on October 30th and barreled into 7-year-old Garrett Monroe, the UC wide receiver became a national hero for caring enough to remove his helmet, give the youngster a huge hug, and make sure that Garrett wasn’t injured before returning to the field.

“I hit that him so hard that you could actually see his face paint on my jersey,” Gilyard said. “I felt extremely bad and I would have felt even worse if he hadn’t given me a high five after I hugged him.”

The video of Gilyard’s kind gesture has been viewed more than 280,000 times on YouTube.

I only wish there was watch footage of something I saw Gilyard do on the Bearcats recent trip to Hawaii.

Two days before the 67th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the entire UC football team went on a tour of the USS Arizona Memorial - ground zero for the start of World War II for the United States and the final resting place for many of the battleship’s 1,177 crew members who lost their lives on December 7, 1941.

If you were touched by Gilyard’s goodness when he hugged the kid, you would have been bowled over by the respect he showed an elderly man.

88-year-old Ed Borucki is one of roughly 30 living survivors of the Pearl Harbor attacks and was at the memorial that day to share his story. Gilyard not only listened intently - he told Borucki he was in awe of him, posed for a picture, and even asked for an autograph.

“It meant so much because I have family members that have gone to war,” a beaming Gilyard told me after the encounter. “My father was in the Army, my stepfather was in the service, and for me to meet someone who fought in World War II was really humbling. I’m proud to be an American, so to be in the presence of Mr. Edward B. - I don’t want to say his last name wrong - I was star-struck. His group actually shot down Japanese fighter planes. Knowing that he had first-hand experience with that was amazing. I never thought I’d get to meet someone like that.”

Borucki was on the USS Helena that was docked in the Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard on the morning of the attacks. When a warning sounded Borucki went to his battle station, an act that saved his life when a torpedo hit the ship killing 33 of his shipmates.

Due to the lack of communication at the time, Borucki was assumed dead and his obituary even appeared in the newspaper.

“They thought he was dead, but he swam across the water to safety,” Gilyard said. “I shook his hand and kept telling him ‘thank you’ over and over again. He said, ‘you don’t have to thank me so many times son.’ And I said, ‘you just don’t understand how much this means to me.’ Stuff like that really touches me. I can’t speak for the rest of my teammates, but for me personally, it really touched my heart.”

Gilyard’s remarkable road to stardom at Cincinnati is well-known. Two years ago he had his scholarship revoked after flunking out. In order to return to the team, Mardy worked four jobs to pay off roughly $10,000 in tuition debt, and often slept in his car.

Perhaps that explains why he seems to savor every aspect of being a Bearcat.

“This is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Gilyard said. “If I could tell other college football players anything I’d tell them ‘don’t leave school early. Enjoy your experiences because you won’t have anything like this after college.’ This is a once-in-lifetime shot and I’m enjoying it. I thank God every day for how he blesses us. For the team to be so successful - number one in school history in wins and headed to a great bowl. I mean, we’ve been blessed.”

One day after meeting NAVY Yeoman 2nd Class Edward Borucki, Gilyard scored the game-winning touchdown in the Bearcats thrilling comeback win over Hawaii, catching a pass from Dustin Grutza near the sideline before breaking a tackle and racing 69 yards to the end zone with 4:42 to go.

It was another highlight that’s sure to get a bunch of views on YouTube.

But it wasn’t the most impressive thing Mardy did in Hawaii.

I’d love to hear from you. You can e-mail your questions and comments to dhoard@pawsox.com.

Enjoy this week’s photo of the handsome lad as he prepares to hit daddy with a snowball.

(This story originally appeared in the December 20th edition of Bearcat Sports Digest)

Source:
http://gobearcats.cstv.com/ot/dan-hoard-column.html